Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Waiting on God?

Recently, I've been listening to the Steve Harvey (in the a.m.) and Michael Baisden (in the p.m.) radio shows. And both just happened to talk on the same topic on the same day--Christian women waiting on God for a man. Well, both said they think Christian women are foolish for waiting on God to send a mate. This attitude really rubs me the wrong way. OK, wait..wait..let me explain. I don't totally disagree with them, because they made good points. They both said that the reason women can't find a suitable mate is because of the vibe she's sending. MMMmm. the vibe. I really have to admit that I cringe when I hear a woman say, "I'm waiting on God to send me a man". Yes, it's good to wait on God, but what are you doing while you wait? Because what you're doing (or not doing) causes Steve and Michael to say, 'Christian women are just sitting by waiting on God to send a man and it just don't happen that way.'
The first reason I'm chaffed is because I'm convinced that nothing happens by chance. God is control of everything. He knows our needs, our wants, and our desires. Women tend to either sit idly by waiting on God to drop a man from the sky, or go to the other extreme-- chasing everything that wears trousers, turning over every rock, looking behind every bush, and shaking every tree hoping to hit the 'man jackpot'. And hit it before girlfriends and cousin 'nem do. I really feel sorry for both parties. Women are lost, trying to find what she's not meant to, because Scripture says: He who finds a wife finds a good thing (Proverbs 18:22). And then the poor man is often caught unawares. Imagine, an unsuspecting brother visiting a new church on Sunday, looking to get his praise on. He steps into the church lobby and all of a sudden he's bombarded with a 'sea of overabundance'--the over-abundance of bountiful breast-ta-sees and well rounded bootys dressed in shiny, sequined, low-cut, see thru, too tight clothes. It's a shame to see normally sweet, reserved sisters-- upon the sight of an unattached male visitor-- turn into 'stalker women', winking, smiling, flirting, and downright macking right there in church in front of God, the pastor, and the mother board. These women think just because he walked up in church, 'this must be a good man.' They don't know diddly about where the brother's been, what he's been through or what issues the brother's dealing with--and they really don't care--they just want a man-- by any and all means necessary.
My best advice is this. Chillax, spend some time in prayer AND wait to hear from God. Pray without ceasing! Invite God to be your Husband. Love on Him. Bless Him. Worship and give Him praise. And He will give you peace. He'll calm your fears. He'll open doors for you and pour out blessings that you won't have room to receive. God's in the blessing business and He knows where you are. It's really just that simple. Wait on God. But, while you're waiting, go to work. Get yourself together. Work on your finances, work on your relationship with God, your relationship with others, and work on loving yourself. So pray, wait, work, and then get involved. Get busy in your local church. Volunteer in your community. Get a social life-- go out to dinner, to the movies, and get-togethers with family, friends and co-workers. Because God won't magically place a man at your doorstep, but you might meet him at the mall. God won't drop a man in your lap, but you might meet a good-looking man while at a gathering with friends. God won't draw you a map highlighted with 'you'll find him right here' and drop it down on your dining room table, but you might meet someone special while in line at the dry cleaners. Get the point? Be found working, being social, and living life to the fullest. Take good care of yourself--dress up and put on your make-up, like you already have a man. Do it for yourself! Keep a standing appointment with your hairdresser, get your nails and your toes did, and wax that unwanted hair. Let him find you with your sh*t together. Be a beauty queen before you meet him, that way he'll know what he's to maintain. (And the same goes for the man you meet---don't take on a man as a project that you have to fix up...but that's another blog entry...mmm...I need to get to that!!! LOL)
So to Steve and Michael, I agree with you to a certain extent, brothers. But I counter with this...she'd better wait on God! Because working in self or listening to friends is dangerous. Many a misguided woman has been through plenty of avoidable heartache and pain in the form of a man who is a compulsive gambler, a womanizer, an abuser, or even a killer. A woman's biggest mistake is not allowing God to speak to her about His plans for her life.
And to women who think waiting on God is all there is to do--I counter with this. Don't put life on hold because you don't have a man. Cultivate some interests and get involved. There's sports, politics, religion, travel, the arts, education and many other things to keep one occupied. Become a well-rounded woman. Make sure your conversations aren't limited because all you know is your job, church, television, and the latest gossip. And just remember, if God made a promise to you concerning a mate, then He will see it through. Because who God has for you, is for you.

Friday, December 26, 2008

In Rememberance

Well. it's official. Christmas 2008 has come to a close. Now comes reflection time. Many choose to take time between Christmas and New Year's to reflect upon the past year and set dreams into action for the coming year. Before things move too fast, I want to take this time to acknowledge those who've gone on before me that have touched my life in some way. These people have shaped me into the person I am today. They've loved me, nurtured me, pinched my cheeks, and dare I say, some have changed my diapers, and a couple of them, I've changed diapers for. I thank God for their lives and the priviledge of knowing them, some for only a short while, others a while longer, but all are endeared to me.
In Loving Rememberance and Dedication to:
Big Mama 1921-1981
Uncle Charles 1943-1984
Uncle Sonny 1903-1997
Uncle Herman 1916-1999
Uncle Horace 1960-2004
Charles Brandon 1982-2005
Justin 1983-2006
Uncle Melvin 1918-2006
Mr. Charles 1938-2007
Carlton 1961-2007
Sister Bonner 1940-2008
Sister Dix 1921-2008
Brother Dix, and

At times it's hard to accept that they are gone, but I know that I must accept what God allows. He has the very hairs of our heads numbered and He is in complete control of our every breath. He makes no mistakes. Although today, I don't understand; today, my heart aches with pain; and sometimes it's even hard to fathom making it from one day to the next. But God knows and God cares.

My dear loved ones, rest in peace until He comes

simply beautiful.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Old skool luv

You get to see inside of me...once again. One of my favorite poems written by me. My inspiration was 5-6 of my favorite Christian couples. They are friends, lovers, partners in marriage, and in life. What's so great about these couples is the fact that I know them personally. They are my grandparents, two of my Great Uncles and their wives, and 4 couples at church. They give me hope, as a single person from parents that have a jacked up marriage, that there is such a thing as a good marriage. Not a perfect marriage, but one in which they love God, love each other, complement one another, have mutual respect for one another, and share a special friendship. You see, when I get with Mr. Right Man, this what I aspire to have in our relationship. This is my prayer letter to God.

Are you listenin'?!!
I want an old skool luv!
You know, that Ruth and Boaz
Kind of love
A Love for real. You know the kind?
It's Genuine,
Long-suffering, not discontent,
Not easily provoked, gives one hundred percent;
Bears all, believes all,
Hopes in all, endures and assures.

Are you listenin', God?!!
I want to love like Big Mamma and Big Daddy--
From sun up to sun down;
Like my Uncle Herman and Aunt Grace
A love that just abounds.
I want to love from see to can't see;
Like my Uncle Melvin and Aunt Ethel
Now that's how love's supposed to be.
like Brother and Sister Bonner,
All syrupy and sweet;
A love so strong that it knocks you off your feet
A love so good-- like buscuits and gravy
A love that grows fast as a newborn baby

That old skool love, like the notes we used to pass..
I love you. Do you love me. Check yes or no
That true kind of love, and all that jazz…

I want that fussing this morning, loving this evening kinda love.
That baby forgive me cuz I was wrong and you wasn’t right either,
But put the blame on me anyway kinda love.
That babymaking love
That just because love
That 24 hours 7 days a week love
Ya Know-- that sweet,
Sunday afternoon
kinda love.

My God, Are you listenin'?!
I want an Old Skool Luv.

copyright 27March 2008 fort worth TX
Sunday 21Dec2008 -modified for seeinsideofme...simply beautiful

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Attention Women: We MUST Protect Ourselves!

Hey Girlfriends...let me holla at you a minute!
You are so precious, so vibrant, so beautiful and full of life. You are worth more than gold, diamonds, pearls, rubies, or any other fine jewel. And as such, you should do with yourself as those who are stewards of fine jewels. Protect yourself. Not just for you- but for me, for the ones you love, the ones who love you, and for future generations. African-Americans are dropping like flies. And it's all because we don't want to face facts and be truthful. We are contracting and spreading HIV/AIDS quick, fast and in a hurry within the African-American community. We have multiple sex partners while we make like we are monogamous. Our men have same sex partners that they keep carefully hidden. We are sleeping with men knowing they are on the down-low, on the up-high, in the closet, on the closet, and having sex inside his marriage. We are sexing outside our marriage, with friends, neighbors and strangers --all that crazy shenanigans--and we are not protecting ourselves. We don't want nobody 'in our business' -- and we surely don't want nobody knowing what (or who) we do. Why do we engage in such destructive behavior? Why take such a huge gamble with your most precious commodity? In the African-American community, it is notoriously known for that 'hush-hush sweep it under the rug' mess. You know, the old saying is that 'silence is golden'--but in this day of HIV/AIDS silence is deadly. Silence is killing us. And it's high time we realize that we don't have to die.

Let's talk woman to woman. We are becoming infected with HIV/AIDS at enormous rates. Our men have been in prison (hush), they are or have been i.v. drug users (sweep), they are or have been having sex with multiple partners (hush), both male and female( oh, hush, hush). Whatever the case, we are being infected by these men by the thousands (sweep). The highest rate for new reports of HIV/AIDS is black women between the ages of 18-44. From 2000 through 2003, HIV and AIDS rates for African American females were 20 times the rates for white females.

There are several factors that play a role in these high statistics. First of all, there are biological factors. The way that we are made, our reproductive system, makes it easier for us to contract diseases. In other words, because we are penetrated, we are more susceptible. There are also several behaviorial factors that put us at risk. We have sex at an earlier age than other races, we tend to have multiple sex partners and/or multiple concurrent sex partners, we tend to have older male sex partners, we tend not to ask questions, and if we do, we tend to trust whatever our man tells us. Understand me now, and don't get me wrong. I do not stand in judgment. I offer the facts as they are--and assert that knowledge is power. When you know better, you do better. And when you do better, you are better. The better you are, the better your community. So looking at stats on the fact of 1) Sexual Activity: By age 19, 77 percent of all American females have had vaginal sex; the proportion climbs to 92 percent by age 24. Among black females, 76 percent have had vaginal sex by age 19, 89 percent by age 24. 2)Multiple Partners/Concurrent multiple partners. We tend to have sex before marriage, with several people. Sometimes we have sex with several different people during the same time period. 3) Older Male Partners and other social factors. We tend to date older men because they are more mature, can take care of us, and give us money, a car, jewelry, or other material things, and we look for fatherly guidance. We also tend to be pretty gullible, believing that doing anything and everything that he says constitutes us being a good woman. We put our lives in men's hands. And what that means is that we put our lives in jeopardy. Take this story into account:
"He was, Precious Jackson said, a very fine black man. He was 6 feet 2 inches tall with an almond-milk complexion, dreamy dark eyes and a deep voice. During their nearly two years together in Los Angeles, he was the sunshine of her life, even though he had a habit of landing in jail and refused to use a condom when they made love.
"I didn't ask him any questions," Jackson said in a recent interview. "I didn't ask him about his sexual history. I asked him if he had been tested, and he said one test came back positive but another one came back negative. I was excited to have this man in my life, because I felt I needed this man to validate who I was." The man is now Jackson's ex-lover, but the two are forever attached by the AIDS virus she contracted from him."

Precious trusted this man. He gave her a gift. The gift that keeps on giving. Her life is in jeopardy--if she gets a cut, a cold, any infection--her immune system is further compromised.
Now, I'm not looking at the moral implications of having sex outside marriage, gay or lesbian activity and such--those topics are a totally different blog entry. But what I'm doing is looking at this situation as someone who cares about the health and well-being of our community. On the moral tip, we all know that God is watching. And guess what? we still will do what we do regardless or morality/immorality. However, my point is...if you like to do it then you should put a condom on it. Yes, wrap it up-- put a jimmy on it. (plastic wrap, saran wrap, aluminum foil if you have to.) AND DO NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. Your life depends on it! Since the man/men you are sleeping with will not protect you, then it's YOUR JOB to PROTECT YOURSELF. DON'T listen to no sob story about how uncomfortable it is and that he can't feel anything. DON'T even let him snivel about how if you trusted him, you wouldn't ask him to wear a condom. DON'T entertain him when he says he ain't got no rubbers, or how he ain't got no money, or how he ain't got time to go buy them. ( He got money and time to buy beer, don't he?) If you still choose to have sex after all of his excuses, then YOU be prepared. Pull out your own condom. That's right!! If you big, bad, and bold enough to lay under him --or sit on him-- then be big, bad, and bold enough to pull out a Trojan!

Or better yet, get yo azz up and go home-- or if he at your crib, send him on his way. ( You ain't gotta home, baby, but you gotta get the helloutta here!)
But sisters, seriously. It's imperative. We must talk to one another. Mothers talk to your daughters--big sisters, talk to your little sisters. Aunts, cousins, girlfriends, play cousins,--
Don't know what to talk about? about this! Here are 3 REASONS TO USE A CONDOM!
  • Since 1981 more than 750,000 cases of AIDS have been reported in the U.S.(Source: The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation)

  • In the United States, more than 65 million people are currently living with an incurable STD. (Source: U.S. Centers for Disease Control Centers)

  • More than one in five Americans is infected with genital herpes.(Source: U.S. Centers for Disease Control Centers)

live -----like you're simply beautiful.