What's Going On

Today, a friend of mine asked me about a matter of the heart. WoW. I must be growing up. :) So I got to thinking ( that's very dangerous, you know ) that she is not the only one going through this kind of thing...why not blog about it? Sorry, T you know once you talk to me it's on and popping. Her question was about an old flame that never quite died out...still flickering. Should she/or shouldn't she give it one more try? Well, I see it this way. He's an "X". Of the men I've put an "X" on, I put it there for a reason. You know, like, we weren't on the same intellectual level- all he wanted was sex- all he wanted to do was hang with his friends and say he had a girl- he didn't have a sense of humor (imagine that, a black man without a sense of humor...he was really dry...don't worry, Michael don't read my blog so he won't be affected by me revealing he's a stiff and a bore)-we just grew apart, well honestly I grew up and he grew stew-pid. These are just some of the reasons. But maybe, just maybe you have someone in your past that you're wondering...what if we try again? It's been a few years, you've both grown up and are now different people with goals and needs that may be different than they were then. So this is what I told my friend. First and foremost, pray about it. Meet the Man, before you meet the man. Ask God if this man is for you. Be specific when you pray--there's nothing to large, nothing too small to ask God about. This is your life and you don't want to miss an opportunity, neither do you want to make the wrong choice. Second, when you talk to this man--ask him what drives him back to you? Listen closely to his answer. If you're in person when you ask him, watch his body language. Does it match the words that are coming out of his mouth? And third..if he is really, truly wanting to get with you, is he praying for you? will he pray with you? If either answer is "no", tell him that simply beautiful said, "kick rocks, bro. My sistah deserves the best that God has to offer, and you ain't it!!"
In closing, treat yourself with dignity and respect. And any man that comes into your space will know that he must do the same.
Peace. Love. and bubblegum.
simply beautiful.
.

Strong, Grown, and Sexy

My friend sent me a poem today entitled: "Grown Woman". Basically, the poem is about how girls vs. women act/react in relationships with men. I decided to break it down and add my own twist and instead of a poem, it'll be a mini-essay.

*Grown Women do not want to control the man in her life. She knows if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling. If he is her man, then he's committed to love, respect, and care for her. If he chooses not to, she will let him go knowing that it's his loss.
*Little girls are insecure and will check a man for not calling. Grown women are too busy to realize he hadn't.
*Strong and Grown women revel in being alone and use it as a time for personal growth. She will read and meditate on the Word, take in some arts and culture, exercise, or she might even dress herself up and go out to dinner and a movie--by herself.
*Little girls beg and whine to make her man come home. Grown women make him want to come home. He can't wait to get there. (Do you want it on your rice and gravy? Do you want it on your biscuits baby? Do you want it on your black-eyed peas...give it to me...give it to me... LOL...Jill Scott's my girrrl!! )
*Girls sit by the phone all day long, waiting for the man to make plans for the evening-- and when she ends up home alone, she pouts because his plans don't include hanging with her. A grown woman will make her own plans and nicely tell the guy "to get in where you fit in."
*A Strong, Grown and Sexy black woman knows that she's pretty--no, she knows she's simply beautiful and is more than good enough for any man. She's confident in this because that's the way God made her.
*Girls try to monopolize all their man's time--she don't want him hanging with his friends or his family. Grown women realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special-and encourages him to hang his boys. And while he's with his boys, she not at home pouting, she goes to kick it with her own friends. And since we're on the subject of friends, a grown woman IS NOT intimidated by the fact that her man has female friends. She's grown enough to discern when they are just friends and nothing more. She's not naive-- mind you, but neither does she feel the need to challenge him on his relationships with his female friends. And she's certainly not intimidated by another woman or girl admiring her man. See, she knows that if she finds him attractive, it's a compliment to her good taste if another finds him attractive also. Grown women don't want a man that look like the dog just dug him up and drug him in! He's got to be neat, clean, fine, dressed well, and good looking-- whether he's in a suit or a t-shirt and some jeans. And little girls remember, just look--don't touch...or there will be consequences and repercussions.
*Little girls think a guy who0 cries is weak. Strong and Grown women offer their shoulder and some tissue. Hell, it's better that he's able to deal with his feelings and his emotions through talking and tears than for him to come in and unexpectantly shove your head through a wall just because he's angry!
*Little girls want to be spoiled and whine all about it to their man. Grown and Sexy women will spoil their man first and be sure he's comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his 'manhood'.
*Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it. Strong women know that he was just one man. Love hurts sometimes and we must move on. Think of it this way, God had to move the wrong one out of the way so that the right one could come in.
*Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all signs. Grown women know that sometimes the one you focus on, doesn't always respond in kind-but it's okay... move on without bitterness. Who God has for you is for you.
Truth be told, it's easy to be a little girl. But it takes maturity, transparency, humility, self-confidence, God-confidence, inner strength, and trust to be Strong, Grown, and Sexy. She must have God's Word in her, be able to pray God's protection over her and hers, and be willing to allow God to guide her daily. Now as humans, we have our insecurities--and we're not going to always be on point. Just realize this: Being 'Strong' is about being in God. Being 'Grown' or mature is recognizing and acknowledging shortcomings and making a true effort to improve. And being 'Sexy' is not all about sex... let's be real, but it is about being beautiful and attractive for yourself first, then for the opposite sex. And to be 'Grown and Sexy' is when you're at a point in life where playing games and immaturity is a thing of the past. There's no more foolishness because you are ready to take on bigger and better things. The Strong, Grown and Sexy is aware of her worth, she's loving, elegant, poised, controls her temper, and secure in who she is and Whose she is. That's what makes her exciting, attractive, and irresistable.
So, little girls, stop wallowing in the muck and mire of immaturity. Woman up! Join the sect of the Strong, Grown, and Sexy!

A Smile and a Switch

I know he's watching me...maybe waiting for the right time to approach me? I ask myself, 'what does he want from me?' Now, don't get me wrong-- I consider myself a fairly decent looking woman. I mean I comb my hair, wash my face and brush my teeth on the daily. LOL. But, all kidding aside... I guess he thinks I'm cute because he steals glances at me, or he just stares (which makes me nervous). But, what I like is that he ALWAYS looks me in the face. He's not staring at my chest, he's not looking me up and down, or stretching his neck around trying to see my butt, or sucking his teeth and hollering "OOOOwWeeee!!" (oh-- I just hate that!!) He's a gentleman and I love that! When I'm facing him, we have eye to eye contact. Now, when I'm walking away from him, I don't know what he's looking at. (Honestly, I doubt it's the back of my head-- cuz sistah got...well... let's just say a large posterior. LOL.) But coming back to my question--what does he want? What does he see in me? Well, I can tell from watching him that he's a man who is sold out to the Lord. He's a man of good taste, he has a sense of humor, he's articulate, mannerable, intelligent and he's humble. He likes the newest tech toys. He believes in taking care of his car--you should see it--it's always spit-shined, spotless and clean. He's good at his occupation and puts his heart in it. Nothing wrong with any of that. And being that he's a man of God, surely he's not wanting me as a 'friend with benefits'. So, what would he be looking for? Well, knowing that he likes nice things. And he likes me. So to him, I must be a nice thing. AND He takes good care of his nice things. Therefore, he'd take good care of me. But that's all about him, isn't it? Does he see that I'm a sold out Christian, a nice young, single mother? I work hard, I'm a college student, I have a wicked and warped sense of humor, believe in family, and I love music. Does he see any of that? Yes, he probably does, and more than what I realize he sees as well. Now, he obviously has good taste, is smart, employed, talented, and upwardly mobile-- and really, all that sounds too good to be true--and what usually sounds too good to be true, is just that. So I can't help but wonder, what are his flaws? MMMmm. I wonder...
Anyway, you probably wonder why I titled this entry 'A smile and a switch'? Well... R U ready for this? R U sure? ...it's because, "Girrrrl, he put a smile on my face and a switch in my hips." LOL. Yes, indeed! He puts a smile on my face--- It's nice to have someones attention. I really like the fact that he's liking me. And I'm liking him back. I like that he watches me--and that he seems to look forward to seeing me each week. He puts a switch in my hips.--- whenever I get the chance to walk past him, I put a little extra 'oomph' in my walk. Yeah, you know, right about in the hip area. Hell, why not? Like I said, this babysistah's got back. And I know he's watching me.

Waiting on God?

Recently, I've been listening to the Steve Harvey (in the a.m.) and Michael Baisden (in the p.m.) radio shows. And both just happened to talk on the same topic on the same day--Christian women waiting on God for a man. Well, both said they think Christian women are foolish for waiting on God to send a mate. This attitude really rubs me the wrong way. OK, wait..wait..let me explain. I don't totally disagree with them, because they made good points. They both said that the reason women can't find a suitable mate is because of the vibe she's sending. MMMmm. the vibe. I really have to admit that I cringe when I hear a woman say, "I'm waiting on God to send me a man". Yes, it's good to wait on God, but what are you doing while you wait? Because what you're doing (or not doing) causes Steve and Michael to say, 'Christian women are just sitting by waiting on God to send a man and it just don't happen that way.'
The first reason I'm chaffed is because I'm convinced that nothing happens by chance. God is control of everything. He knows our needs, our wants, and our desires. Women tend to either sit idly by waiting on God to drop a man from the sky, or go to the other extreme-- chasing everything that wears trousers, turning over every rock, looking behind every bush, and shaking every tree hoping to hit the 'man jackpot'. And hit it before girlfriends and cousin 'nem do. I really feel sorry for both parties. Women are lost, trying to find what she's not meant to, because Scripture says: He who finds a wife finds a good thing (Proverbs 18:22). And then the poor man is often caught unawares. Imagine, an unsuspecting brother visiting a new church on Sunday, looking to get his praise on. He steps into the church lobby and all of a sudden he's bombarded with a 'sea of overabundance'--the over-abundance of bountiful breast-ta-sees and well rounded bootys dressed in shiny, sequined, low-cut, see thru, too tight clothes. It's a shame to see normally sweet, reserved sisters-- upon the sight of an unattached male visitor-- turn into 'stalker women', winking, smiling, flirting, and downright macking right there in church in front of God, the pastor, and the mother board. These women think just because he walked up in church, 'this must be a good man.' They don't know diddly about where the brother's been, what he's been through or what issues the brother's dealing with--and they really don't care--they just want a man-- by any and all means necessary.
My best advice is this. Chillax, spend some time in prayer AND wait to hear from God. Pray without ceasing! Invite God to be your Husband. Love on Him. Bless Him. Worship and give Him praise. And He will give you peace. He'll calm your fears. He'll open doors for you and pour out blessings that you won't have room to receive. God's in the blessing business and He knows where you are. It's really just that simple. Wait on God. But, while you're waiting, go to work. Get yourself together. Work on your finances, work on your relationship with God, your relationship with others, and work on loving yourself. So pray, wait, work, and then get involved. Get busy in your local church. Volunteer in your community. Get a social life-- go out to dinner, to the movies, and get-togethers with family, friends and co-workers. Because God won't magically place a man at your doorstep, but you might meet him at the mall. God won't drop a man in your lap, but you might meet a good-looking man while at a gathering with friends. God won't draw you a map highlighted with 'you'll find him right here' and drop it down on your dining room table, but you might meet someone special while in line at the dry cleaners. Get the point? Be found working, being social, and living life to the fullest. Take good care of yourself--dress up and put on your make-up, like you already have a man. Do it for yourself! Keep a standing appointment with your hairdresser, get your nails and your toes did, and wax that unwanted hair. Let him find you with your sh*t together. Be a beauty queen before you meet him, that way he'll know what he's to maintain. (And the same goes for the man you meet---don't take on a man as a project that you have to fix up...but that's another blog entry...mmm...I need to get to that!!! LOL)
So to Steve and Michael, I agree with you to a certain extent, brothers. But I counter with this...she'd better wait on God! Because working in self or listening to friends is dangerous. Many a misguided woman has been through plenty of avoidable heartache and pain in the form of a man who is a compulsive gambler, a womanizer, an abuser, or even a killer. A woman's biggest mistake is not allowing God to speak to her about His plans for her life.
And to women who think waiting on God is all there is to do--I counter with this. Don't put life on hold because you don't have a man. Cultivate some interests and get involved. There's sports, politics, religion, travel, the arts, education and many other things to keep one occupied. Become a well-rounded woman. Make sure your conversations aren't limited because all you know is your job, church, television, and the latest gossip. And just remember, if God made a promise to you concerning a mate, then He will see it through. Because who God has for you, is for you.

A Conversation with a friend

I had a conversation via email with a friend today. She has an 'advice column', and I'm going through a little something so I decided to ask her opinion. Little did I know that she would be so insightful. For your reading pleasure, here is our talk. To keep things simple, she's "DOC"

Thanks Doc! here's my dilemma-- there's this guy that I like...and he likes me..but it seems both of us are terribly shy...can you give me a way to approach him that won't make me look like a wayward tramp? I must mention that we see each other at church...he's in the ministry and close to the pastor too, so I have to tread carefully...

DOC: I would say just to be yourself and one day after church ask him if he would like to get lunch or supper one day. Or just reference something he did that day. If he responds in a way that will lead to conversation then suggest something outside of church where you all can talk. As long as you don't say something like ' the gates of heaven are between my thighs' you'll be good to go.


sounds good. I just needed a third opinion. you may post my question if you please...just protect the guilty. and for the record no...I wasn't thinking about saying anything like that. LOL. although, somehow I don't think he'd mind me saying it. he's holy...but he's still a man. LOL.


DOC:Don't I know! My biological and my stepdad are preachers. I have seen and heard a lot of stuff. One thing I know for sure. If a minister is interested in someone he is extra cautious. Nothing like the jezzabels in the church to teach you to be careful.


mmmm. very interesting. I hadn't thought about it from that perspective. Yeah he seems extra cautious.. very selective and very slooow. I guess it's all good, though..being a private person myself, I don't want my business all over the church either. I just wish there were a handbook on how to date in church. I know what to do if I were in the world...but being in church is very different...or is it?


DOC: Not really. You just have to be very aware. EVERYBODY is watching. People are much more agressive in church. You know what I mean. If he starts being around you the other woman will try and make themselves be more available. It all boils down to how you two will handle it. If God has sent him to you he will be for you and no random chic can stop that.


yeah...that's what I kinda figured about other women. He's very much in the 'spotlight' so to speak--so I'm really surprised that no one's chasing him already. My pastor's very vocal anyway, so I know that he(my crush) knows to tread lightly. I appreciate your words of encouragement. I've been running from this whole thing for several reasons---and now I'm beginning to understand that it may be meant to be --because he's so persistent. He definitely is not taking instruction from me! So he must feel that I am the one for him. mmm..See, I'm glad I asked you. I'll be walking around with my head in the air the rest of the week! LOL


DOC: GO AHEAD HONEY!!! they maybe chasing him but he doesn't see anyone but you! Give a little extra twist of them hips when you walk! My aunt and I talked about being a preachers wife on Friday night. I said I am not my mother, "turn the other cheek and be nice all the time." My aunt isn't eaither and she is a preachers wife. She cuss like a sailor. I am saying this to say, do not stop who you are. Be strong for you. If this progresses to that level, be a strong woman and wife first. The women who proclaim to be holy... are really HO-ISH! God will reveal all.


girlfriend. you are too funny! omg. I feel like you have been watching the whole thing play out. you are so on the money --girl...

DOC: No joke, I am a seer. I don't tell people that.

I should have known...what you've said to me-I've been 'hearing in my spirit' for a while...but like I said, just running.so i will take your advice, approach him like a lady with an invite to lunch or something and see where that goes.

DOC:.Yes ma'am.

************************************************************************************

So, there you have it. What do you think? Is she really on the money? We'll see.

Will I ask him? or will I chi-ck-en out?

simply beautiful

Who is he and What is he...to me?

I just love this classic song by Bill Withers titled, "Who is he and what is he to you?" The storyline of the song is about a man and his wife who are out together and run into another man. The singer does'nt know him, but he feels that his wife does. He goes on to tell her that he's not dumb. He tells her that his intuition is that she knows this guy, and that she's 'too much for one man, but not enough for two'. In other words, he realizes that she's demanding and he's got to step up his game, but nevertheless, he ain't about to share his woman--she can forget that. It's a good storyline, isn't it? But it's not what this blog entry's about. I just pimped the title and tweeked it a bit.
What it is about is this: I am in the market for a companion, boyfriend, male friend...dare I say...husband. (Ew, now that's a word) Only God knows at this point. Anyway, I've compiled a list of the things I'd look for in a man.
My title is "Who is he, and what is he to me?" And using a subtitle of : How a man should love me as God loves me.
My man should be:
1. A gentleman-- a civilized, educated, sensitive and well-mannered man. He opens doors for me, he respects and honors me. He does not force himself on me.
2. Confident and sure of himself; having no uncertainty about his abilities. NOT arrogant—No, not at all. He knows his worth—he knows Whose he is and Who he is AND most importantly, Who HE is! He can change the oil in the car, mow the lawn, clean the house, do the dishes, do the laundry, and DO ME --and still be confident in knowing that he’s the man of the house.
3. A provider who supports me and accepts support from me. And he is a protector—a defender and a guardian.
4. He’s powerful. He knows all of his power is in his prayers and his praise.
5. There’s nothing he won’t do for me. Because he knows there’s nothing I won’t do for him. We got each others back.
6. Anticipates my wants and needs. Does this need an explanation? Well, I’ll provide a short one. He knows me well enough to know what I need—see numbers 1-5 and 7-13. He knows we need food, shelter, clothing. He knows I want affection and attention. He knows how to draw a nice hot bath, light some candles, turn on some soft music, and wash my back, and then….
And, not to worry...I get it AND I give it.
7. He shows and tells me that he loves me. He calls me, brings me flowers, takes me to dinner, displays affection in public, etc. every now and again.
8. He does not need a performance from me in order to earn his love.
9. He keeps his promises! His word is his bond. If he says he will, he does.
10. No one can influence his opinion of me in a negative way.
11. He is intimate with me. And not just physical intimacy. I describe intimacy as open and frequent communication, having close contact over a period of time, building my trust and confidence in him through words and actions, which will lead towards becoming endeared one to another.
12.He cannot disown me. I am a part of him/he is a part of me.
13. He covers me and doesn’t expose me. This one is real important. He will accept me, flaws and all, and cover me where I need it. He will not expose my short-comings (or my sins) to the world. He is connected to me/and I to him, and will allow his strength to conceal my weaknesses. He will sit on my secrets and not reveal them to my friends or to my enemies. He will provide a defense for my emotions, guarding my inner-most thoughts and feelings.
Is this too much to expect from a man? I don't think so, especially if he’s expecting the same in return. You see, I not only want to receive this kind of love, but to give it as well. Now I'm talking about “Old Skool Love”. I call it that Big Mama and Big Daddy loving from sun-up to sun-down kind of love. That Sunday evening- rain is gently pitter-pattering on the roof kind of love. That slow-roasted, flavorful, melt in your mouth-not in your hand kind of love. A love that is like fine wine— gets better with time. Yeah, that good love.
A man ought to reflect God's love when he loves a woman. God created man and woman to love one another--a woman is her man's helpmate. Woman was not taken from man's feet in order to walk on him or be walked on by him, nor from his head to be over him, nor from his back to be the tail, but from his rib, in order to be by his side. What two can walk together if they do not agree?
I'm ready to start walking...Now if I could only find someone to walk with...
Simply Beautiful

Take it from me...you betta aks him!!

One of my favorite bloggers touched on a subject that is near and dear to me. He talked about dating and relationships as a single parent. This came about in light of the recent tragedy in the Jennifer Hudson family. He went on to discuss how he dates discreetly and doesn't involve his kids. I agree with the brotha wholeheartedly. I am a single mom of a male-child. I found it interesting how men would almost approach me...that is until he would see my son bounding towards me like a St. Benard--no offense sweetie--mumm loves her little 'poo-poo'. So once brotha man got a glimpse of the teen-age 'man of the house', he would quickly lose interest and turn the other way. Hey--no problem. I'd rather know up front when a brotha can't deal with a woman who has a child. It saves the both of us some time and probably heartache and handcuffs! But back to the blog by my big brotha. He said there are several questions that have to be asked prior to dating and allowing his date to meet his kids. I say, 'Right on, my Brotha! You should really read his blog in its entirety. It's really informative. http://www.theroot.com/id/48593.


Now, I came up with some questions of my own about 7 or 8 months ago. I'm thinking about getting back into the dating scene after a loooong absence. I got to thinking about things, and decided upon these questions to ask a potential date. Now keep in mind, some of these questions are asked upon first meeting and some are saved for later dates. Use at your own discretion.

Question number 1. Does he KNOW Jesus? Is Jesus in him? Does Jesus KNOW him? Okay I know that looks like 3 questions, but really it ain't but ONE. Do you love the Lord EVERYday? Or just on Sunday? Or whenever it looks like you should? ( again with the multiple ONE question..same subject.)
2. Do you hit women? ( No, not Jesus, silly. aks man you thinking about getting with!)
3. Do you respect women? Do you even like women? (you'd be surprised by some of the issues our brothas are walking around with. Just AKS the question!!)
4. Do you like men, too? Uh, you know what I mean..don't need no down low.
5. Do you like kids? Do you have any kids? If so, how many?
6. Are you violent? Have you been told you have a bad temper? scary? Weird? Potential stalker? Again, it looks like more than one question, but it ain't!! Walk with me now.

I really, really like the way big brotha put it. He say:

Are you psychotic in any measurable way?—I know. It seems too
forward. But you'll be surprised at people that will just come out and tell you that they are not right in the head. We all have emotional problems—it's part of the human condition. But you can't fix people. They have to fix themselves. There's crazy, wacky and there's crazy, CRAZY. I don't know about you, but I don't need crazy in my life. Crazy, I got.

7. Do you want a wife or are you looking for another 'mama'?
8. Are you financially stable?
9. If I introduced you to someone I respect and trust, what do you think they would think of you? Ohhh that's good!!
Now this one is my son's question. I tell you, my child a fool!!
10. Where was your um--penis-- on May 3, 1980? How about last month? Last week? Last night, even?
11. Do you have a current or ex wife? Have you ever been close to marriage? But didn't? and if so,what happened?
12. Why did you choose to date me?What do you expect from me? And why? Yea-gur..ask him WHY?!! Big brotha puts it this way:

What are your intentions?—Are we just dancing, or are we moving toward something? If not, there's no reason for you to meet my kids.

13. Where do you expect to be one year from now? 5 years? 10 years? Does any of your future planning include me? Again, big brotha says it this way:

Got any life plans?—"What's a life plan?" Right. NEXT.

Now, I thought I asked some really good questions until I saw my big brothas list. I left off some important ones--but I'm including those questions and his comments here:
Do you dope or drink?—
Do you have any felonies?—Especially violent ones. Sex offenses count.
Are you on probation?
Are you employable?—can you at least get a job at Wendy's so you can afford a taxi if I have to kick you out for acting crazy around my kids? FOR REAL. Not only ask if he is employable, but sistas, ask if he's employed. There's nothing like getting in front of the movie theater, 20 minutes away from the hottest movie ever and you find out that the brotha you invited is expecting you to pay--because you asked him out and besides he ain't got no job, so he ain't got no money. humph--ain't that some shiggidy?!! I'd go in by myself and leave him standing there!
Do you vote?—No? NEXT.

Now, one word of advice, girls. You're asking the questions, no doubt, but don't be afraid to answer them as well. If this man is on point, he'll be asking you the same questions anyway. If he ain't--then you might want to re-think that dating thang!

Be Cautious, my Lady Friends--and be Blessed.

Oh, No She Don't!!!

Lemme share a cute story with you. This past April, I went down home to my grandfather's 94th birthday celebration. Of course, there were lots of family and friends there, including his baby sister, my great Aunt. She's in her 80's, but she looks like she's about 60-something. Well, my Aunt is a really classy looking, gorgeous woman. And as my son says she's 'beourgie'.
For as long as I can remember, my Aunt has been a single woman, driving a late model Cadillac-- and she's always, always had a boyfriend. And this time is no different. She drove her brown colored Cadillac down home along with her man. That's right, she's got a BOYFRIEND!! WHAT THE...?!! Here she is in her 80's, close to 90 and she's got a boyfriend?!! Albeit, he was on a cane--she has one boyfriend more than I've got! , THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE!!

Now, Aunt is gorgeous, no doubt, and she deserves to ride in style, date, and do whatever and go wherever she wants. Hey, more power to her! But my thing is this…I am less than half her age. I don't have a Cadillac, but I can live with that just fine because I like my truck. But she has a MAN. And here I am, crying, sobbing, and snotting because I can't seem to get a date. I'm not even sure if I have a prospect for a date, let alone getting a boyfriend. See, sometimes men seem to be either afraid to approach me, already married, too old, too immature, or they make me wonder if he is a real man. What do I mean by a real man? I mean one who is not on the down low or a man who hits women, drinks excessively and/or does drugs, and doesn't work or want to work. A real man is able to love a woman, take care of himself, a wife and/or some kids and most of all loves Jesus! My, my,my...I wonder where my real man is?
But, back to the subject at hand. Look at this -- the bottom line is my eighty-something-year- old great Aunt has a boyfriend and I DON'T. WoW! Just to say that...I'm hurt, I'm ashamed, I'm almost devastated. And after all of these emotions, I get angry also. Yes, angry…at me. Here I am wanting to get into a relationship, have a male companion, a boyfriend, maybe even a husband one day… I mean.. Someone to talk to or hang out with...And what am I doing? Well, obviously not much.

Okay...back to my Aunt...I heard there was even a marriage proposal in the works. And check it, old dude practically asked her during a wake. Yes, A WAKE..the night before A FUNERAL. Yeah, the old folks are hookin' up...and getting it on!!