Hi Gentle Readers:
Ever felt like the whole world was against you? Umph--I have. As a matter of fact, I feel like that this very minute! I have so many people hatin' on me right now...it's unreal. The strange thing is, I don't know why they hatin'... I ain't did nobody none--really, I haven't (in my best whinnin' voice)
First of all, in this situation, I know that I have to encourage myself. This I know: Greater is He that is within me than he that is in the world(1John 4:4) AND as my pastor says, 'let 'em hate. That means God will bless and move on my behalf all the more and give my haters even more reason to hate!!' (I like that!!)
The thing about my haters is that they are persons who shouldn't be hatin'. (Aren't they always, though?) They are persons closest to me-- so they should be loving, caring, and supportive...you'd think?...but nooo...oooh dare I say it?....my haters are church and family members. Yep..they are. I've noticed in the last few weeks, that certain people are talking about me, not behind my back, mind you--like they are supposed to, but to my face. And giving me strange looks or just plain ol' igging me in conversations. What I usually do is just brushed it off as my imagination. But it keeps coming back time and time again, so I know there has to be something to it.
Can we just talk--you and me? Do you mind if I get real with you a moment and share this experience? See, I was at church---getting my praise and worship in, cuz you know, God is good!, and I hear my name whispered. OK--who's whispering my name while I'm in the middle of worship?!! So I think to myself, 'this must be pretty important, right? Maybe I should come out of worship to see if my skirt is caught up in my pantyhose or something....that can be too embarassing, you know...so I come out of worship for a moment--only to find this young lady is pointing at me and whispering something about me to her neighbor. So I say to myself, "Oops...that's not my conversation"--and I go back to worship. Now this is my thought--let me know if my thinking is wrong here: The praise and worship leader has taken us in. God's in the building. Blessing. Healing. Making miracles happen. And this person has NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN TO TALK ABOUT ME?!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!
The most important thing when the spirit is high is that we focus on God--give God His due. Give Him the honor, praise and worship He deserves. But no--this person decides not to give their attention to the Almighty God, but to meer (wo)man instead. WHAT?!! He is the God who woke us up this morning! Clothed in our right minds! Put food on the table! Gives life, breath, health and strength! I got news for you Ms. Whisperer Hater---I AIN'T DONE NONE OF THAT!!! and couldn't even if I wanted to!!!
Second hater issue...I'm on one of those social networks--you know the kind--where you have to be a member and all we do is talk (type) back and forth--forth and back. Well, I've got a cousin on therethat grew up with me. But after the debacle of 2001,we don't talk much--but anyway, it seems that from the time I announced I'm graduating from college--this cousin ignores me on the social network. Seems like when she realizes I'm on..she gets off. My son tells me, 'oh she just signed off and missed your comment.' No she didn't. She's dissin' me. But that's ok. Go 'head. Dis me. Cuz the more you dis me, the more I'll bless you. The more I bless you, the more I'm blessed. I'm not braggin or boastin on me. I'm braggin and boastin on the God in me. And if you choose to hate on me...hate on. Cuz it's not me you're hatin'.
As I sit and think about it, I'm reminded that I am not unique. They also hated on Jesus. Hated on Him so much that they sent soldiers to pick up an innocent Man in the middle of the night. They tried Him all night long, taking Him from courtroom to courtroom--all on trumped up charges. Hated Him so much that the crowd said let the guilty go free while an innocent Man was pronounced guilty. Hated Him so much that they beat him and spat on him and then they made Him carry a cross up Golgotha hill. Hated him so they put Him up on that cross between two thieves, put a crown of thorns on His head and mocked Him. And to think, He endured the haters, He gave His life, so that you and I can have eternal life. There's no need to ask 'what would Jesus do?' What He did is recorded in Luke for all to read. But in case you missed it, this is what He did--He blessed His haters. Remember? "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do"? Luke 23:34
So a short letter to my Haters: I love you. I decree that God bless and keep you! May God bless you financially--bless your family--bless your children, and your children's children-- bless you on your job--keep you healthy--provide food on your table, clothes on your back and shoes on your feet--May He give you the desires of your heart--bless your going out, bless your coming in--bless you in the city and in the field!! May He enlarge your territory. May the Lord God bless you in every way, every day in ways that are abundantly and exceedingly more than you can dream or imagine!! AMEN!!
I've got one last thing to say and I'll let you go...In the words of my favorite poetress the Honorable Jill Scott:
You can try as you may, Break me down but I say
That it ain’t up to you, Gone and do what you do
Hate on me, hater, Now or later
‘Cuz I’m gonna do me, You’ll be mad, baby
Go ‘head and hate on me, hater
I’m not afraid of -- What I got I paid for!!
You can hate on me!!!
Thanks, Jill! I could not have said it better!
and Thanks God, there is no better example of a more excellent way!!
.
simply beautiful
.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Monday, November 10, 2008
My Big Mama in Me
This post is dedicated to my 'Big Mama'. For those not familiar with the term, I'm speaking of my grandmother. She happens to be my paternal grandma, or in everyday terms, my daddy's mama. In honor of the anniversary of her birthday, I'm going to take some time to remember her in the way that only I can. You see, I never got to see Big Mama through 'grown up eyes'. What I mean is, all of my memories of her are during my childhood. I was 17 years-old when Big Mama went home to be with the Lord. But, the many memories I have are filled with her warmth, strength, and joy, all made from scratch like her hot buttered biscuits. LOL.
I'd like to think that I am very much like her; a charming, graceful woman with a ready smile. She was a woman of character, she believed right was right, wrong was wrong. She was a woman with a deep, quiet strength. She had a sense of centeredness. She loved her God and loved her family. She was a predictable, yet mysterious woman. But, you knew who she was because her personality never changed. She always treated you with dignity and respect, no matter your age, race, or gender. Her level of respect would never change. She could be so serious at times. When there was work to be done, she meant for you to get to it--no dawdling, no excuses. But when the work was through, then you would see the side of her that was playful and free.
She had certain air about her, and a certain flair that was right there on the very 'tip of your tongue', but you just couldn't quite figure out. It's like she was so charming that she could always stay one step ahead of you, never allowing you to catch up, but you were allowed to follow as if she were the pied piper. She exuded confidence and self-assuredness. She had a proud walk. I'm told I have it, too. She would walk like she had the biggest, juiciest secret stored right there in her bosom. And, if you'd only be good, on your bestest of behavior, she'd take that secret, split it two, dress it up with honey and butter and share it with you--each and every delightful bite.
She loved life and loved to laugh. She enjoyed good conversation, as well reading and journaling. (Looks like she passed it on, huh?) She was especially fond of current events and history. She loved the arts--music, poetry, recitations and plays. She knew the value of a good education. She knew that ed ucating oneself, whether through public or private school systems, college or university, or self-educating through the reading of books, magazines, news and other publications, would bring personal satisfaction, fulfillment and hopefully a good paying job!
One of my favorite memories as a child occurred when I was about 6 or 7 years old. My older brother and I would spend a couple of weeks or so during the summer with Big Mama and Big Daddy in the country. We would take long walks down their dirt road, or go visit the 'hog pen', or just play in all of that red sand. Sometimes we'd go up the dirt road to visit with great- Aunt Juanita and great-Uncle Buck. But one particular day, we stayed inside and listened to records. For you youngsters, that's like a CD, except it played on a phonograph/record player and oftentimes there was only one song on each side. Well, Big Mama was feeling pretty playful. She came in from the kitchen and reached up on top of the shelf and pulled down a record. She put in on the phonograph player, then reached up again and brought down a wig. She put the wig on her head and started the phonograph player. It was 'Proud Mary' by Ike and Tina Turner. You know, " rolling....rolling....rolling on the river...." Big Mama began to lipsync with the song...not only that, but she moved her hips in rhythm with the music. She even swung her head around like the Ikettes, on the instrumental part (being careful not to lose her wig, of course!) Ohmygoodness! We rolled! My conservative, Christian, laid-back, easy going grandmother was lipsyncing, dancing and head swinging to 'Proud Mary'! If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I never would have believed it!
That day I saw a different side of Big Mama--and I liked it very much. I found that she had a fun, playful side. I'd only seen the Big Mama that made sure all the chores were done. This Big Mama was spontaneous, hilarious, and a pretty good lipsyncer and dancer! LOL
Just one last thing about my Big Mama. I'd always felt a 'strange' closeness with her. I say "strange" not meaning weird, but meaning unusual. It was not only a physical closeness we shared, because she loved her hugs and kisses, but she and I shared a mental closeness. You see, even as a child, I could be serious and then suddenly whimsical. I could be studious and curious, and in the very next vain, be nonchalant and carefree. Big Mama, it seemed, KNEW me. She understood what made me tick. She knew my likes and dislikes. She knew that I was a good child, one who would not need constant watching, but who would need stern instruction. She knew all about me and accepted every fiber. She knew I'd love to read and write when I got older. She knew I was a little tomboy at heart, loving to run and play in the dirt. She also knew as a child that I couldn't sta-a-a-and to keep shoes on my feet! ( and still can't as an adult! smile)
How did she know all of this about me? Is it because she saw herself in me? Perhaps she saw herself in the way I walk, or heard herself in the way I talk, or even perhaps caught a glimpse of me making one of her facial expressions? Whatever it was that she saw or heard, she let me know she loved me for me, and willingly embraced me.
Even though she's been gone for a time, I can still feel her love--I feel her warmth---I feel her care and acceptance. How? Well, it's right here. (sound affect: tapping on glass) When I look in the mirror, I can't help but to see--- my Big Mama in me.
( P.S. Please forgive me for being late. I experienced technical difficulties. Laptops are nice when you can get them to charge.)
I'd like to think that I am very much like her; a charming, graceful woman with a ready smile. She was a woman of character, she believed right was right, wrong was wrong. She was a woman with a deep, quiet strength. She had a sense of centeredness. She loved her God and loved her family. She was a predictable, yet mysterious woman. But, you knew who she was because her personality never changed. She always treated you with dignity and respect, no matter your age, race, or gender. Her level of respect would never change. She could be so serious at times. When there was work to be done, she meant for you to get to it--no dawdling, no excuses. But when the work was through, then you would see the side of her that was playful and free.
She had certain air about her, and a certain flair that was right there on the very 'tip of your tongue', but you just couldn't quite figure out. It's like she was so charming that she could always stay one step ahead of you, never allowing you to catch up, but you were allowed to follow as if she were the pied piper. She exuded confidence and self-assuredness. She had a proud walk. I'm told I have it, too. She would walk like she had the biggest, juiciest secret stored right there in her bosom. And, if you'd only be good, on your bestest of behavior, she'd take that secret, split it two, dress it up with honey and butter and share it with you--each and every delightful bite.
She loved life and loved to laugh. She enjoyed good conversation, as well reading and journaling. (Looks like she passed it on, huh?) She was especially fond of current events and history. She loved the arts--music, poetry, recitations and plays. She knew the value of a good education. She knew that ed ucating oneself, whether through public or private school systems, college or university, or self-educating through the reading of books, magazines, news and other publications, would bring personal satisfaction, fulfillment and hopefully a good paying job!
One of my favorite memories as a child occurred when I was about 6 or 7 years old. My older brother and I would spend a couple of weeks or so during the summer with Big Mama and Big Daddy in the country. We would take long walks down their dirt road, or go visit the 'hog pen', or just play in all of that red sand. Sometimes we'd go up the dirt road to visit with great- Aunt Juanita and great-Uncle Buck. But one particular day, we stayed inside and listened to records. For you youngsters, that's like a CD, except it played on a phonograph/record player and oftentimes there was only one song on each side. Well, Big Mama was feeling pretty playful. She came in from the kitchen and reached up on top of the shelf and pulled down a record. She put in on the phonograph player, then reached up again and brought down a wig. She put the wig on her head and started the phonograph player. It was 'Proud Mary' by Ike and Tina Turner. You know, " rolling....rolling....rolling on the river...." Big Mama began to lipsync with the song...not only that, but she moved her hips in rhythm with the music. She even swung her head around like the Ikettes, on the instrumental part (being careful not to lose her wig, of course!) Ohmygoodness! We rolled! My conservative, Christian, laid-back, easy going grandmother was lipsyncing, dancing and head swinging to 'Proud Mary'! If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I never would have believed it!
That day I saw a different side of Big Mama--and I liked it very much. I found that she had a fun, playful side. I'd only seen the Big Mama that made sure all the chores were done. This Big Mama was spontaneous, hilarious, and a pretty good lipsyncer and dancer! LOL
Just one last thing about my Big Mama. I'd always felt a 'strange' closeness with her. I say "strange" not meaning weird, but meaning unusual. It was not only a physical closeness we shared, because she loved her hugs and kisses, but she and I shared a mental closeness. You see, even as a child, I could be serious and then suddenly whimsical. I could be studious and curious, and in the very next vain, be nonchalant and carefree. Big Mama, it seemed, KNEW me. She understood what made me tick. She knew my likes and dislikes. She knew that I was a good child, one who would not need constant watching, but who would need stern instruction. She knew all about me and accepted every fiber. She knew I'd love to read and write when I got older. She knew I was a little tomboy at heart, loving to run and play in the dirt. She also knew as a child that I couldn't sta-a-a-and to keep shoes on my feet! ( and still can't as an adult! smile)
How did she know all of this about me? Is it because she saw herself in me? Perhaps she saw herself in the way I walk, or heard herself in the way I talk, or even perhaps caught a glimpse of me making one of her facial expressions? Whatever it was that she saw or heard, she let me know she loved me for me, and willingly embraced me.
Even though she's been gone for a time, I can still feel her love--I feel her warmth---I feel her care and acceptance. How? Well, it's right here. (sound affect: tapping on glass) When I look in the mirror, I can't help but to see--- my Big Mama in me.
Happy Birthday, Big Mama!
I love you!
November 8, 1921- December 28, 1981.
( P.S. Please forgive me for being late. I experienced technical difficulties. Laptops are nice when you can get them to charge.)
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