Ain't that Peculiar?

a favorite quote:

"Change is painful, but pain is changeful!!"

thanks to my young fb friend, Colton for that word.

Be blessed.

simply beautiful
.

A Season for Change

Hi! It's been a few days since I've posted. Rest assured, I'm always around. I've just been busy with work, school, internship and church--getting about 3-4 hours of sleep each night. And on top of that, fighting a cold on last week. Whew...simply beautiful is simply worn-out. But, my soul is renewed! It all started with an email I got this morning from Tyler Perry. I love getting those emails because he is always right on time with the Word. No matter what he seems to be going through at the time, he has a word that is on the money for me. I often wonder, 'how does he do that?' The same word that works for him in his situation, works for me in my situation. I'll tell you how that works--it's a God thing. In His infinite wisdom, He's worked it out that way. So, I'll share with you a snippet of TP's word that helped me on today. If you've read it before, just pretend like you haven't--hopefully I'll be able to put a spin on it that will make it new again. Tyler wrote: "When I think about how close I came to giving up... When I think about all the hell I went through to get here...When I think about all the people who told me I wasn't going to be anything...To know that (someone) stands shoulder to shoulder with me--God, that makes me feel good. There is a simple scripture in the Bible that I think about often, and it says when you have favor with God then you have favor with man. I hope somebody is paying attention to this. Not the number one movie, not the TV shows, not the studio, but simply paying attention to the fact that all things are possible to them that will believe. No matter what is going on in your life. No matter what you're faced with. ONLY BELIEVE! Believe for the best outcome and that's what you will receive." Tyler Perry

I cried when I read this. You see, nobody knows what I'm going through. I haven't told anyone. If I told you how I live, you wouldn't believe me. If I told you what I go through, just to make it day to day-you'd think I was lying. If I showed you, you'd cry and ask me why I do it. Right now I have no choice. It is a burden to have no alternatives. I'm sure I'm not the only one--but right now I feel like it. I can feel the words Tyler wrote, I literally see them--because it's me. I have been close--many times-- to giving up. There are days that I tell God that I just want to walk away and leave everything and everyone behind. You don't know the hell that I've been through, that I'm going through sharing this with you. My only sibling, my older brother died in June 2007--sometimes I'm fine..sometimes I grieve like he died today. My parents are no longer together, something that's been a looong time coming, but only came about because my brother died. Nobody talks about the pain--of losing my brother nor of my parents' separation. Nobody talks about the future--will my parents divorce already? or will they continue with the charade as if they are together and a happy family? I'm being really transparent and allowing you to see inside of me, which is quite difficult. I know that I could not make it from day to day if I didn't have God in my life. If I didn't have my son, I'd have nothing to live for. There are days that I double over--not because of some physical ailment that causes me pain--but from the pain in my soul. I am sometimes overtaken with grief and the pain inside. I am the familys' 'appointed' peacemaker, the mediator that no one listens to--and it is a burden. But, I go on as if it doesn't matter. I smile through the pain. I cry and wipe away my tears to put on yet another smile for another day. I hold my head high and keep walking like I don't have a care in the world. But underneath it all, my head hurts and my heart aches.

But, God is good and His mercy endures forever. God has given me a promise-- and He is preparing me for the next thing that comes into my life. I've got to move on, move out and move up. The next step in my life requires it. I can't stay where I am and receive the things I'm to receive. I must put new wine in new wineskins, for God has opened doors for me. He's a light unto my path, or in today's language, He's "mapquested" my route. Now all I have to do is walk. I have His favor. And He will use somebody, somewhere to offer their influence, finances, gifts and abilities that will allow me to fulfill the purpose that He has for me!

Before I close, let me remind you: Live. Love. Laugh. and don't forget to pee.

simply beautiful

.

That One

In seven days we will find out which candidate will be our new Commander-in-Chief. November 4, 2008 will be an important day in U.S. history. The first African-American has been unanimously nominated by the Democratic party to run for president. Barack 'That One' Obama, is blazing an impressive trail for himself, his family, for black people, and for this country. Everywhere he goes, people seem to love him. I know that I do. He's smart, articulate, and charming. He commands respect and he holds ones attention. And not to forget to mention that he's tall, slim, and he's easy on the eyes. Yes, indeed--easy on the eyes.

But, unfortunately in 2008, America is still a very dangerous country for a black man. Just this year, a young man, Brandon McClelland of Paris, TX was drug to his death behind a pick-up truck. His story is very reminiscent of the event in which James Byrd, Jr. of Jasper, TX was murdered. This makes me wonder how many incidents that stem from racial hate have occurred in the United States that have not received any major press? Not just against African-Americans, but Asian, Hispanic, or Indian- Americans? How many of my brothers and sisters in this day and age have lost their lives simply because of the color of their skin? Now Senator Obama may not be able to change these incidences, however I hope that because of his high visibility, these crimes will come to light and to justice.

If Senator Obama should win the presidency, he will not be able to change America or the world overnight. Nor do I expect him to. But, I hope and pray that he will change the way people in this country and abroad view African-Americans. We are not all a booty-shaking, pot smoking, alcoholic, low pants wearing, illiterate, welfare-dependant, ghetto tenement living, HIV+/AIDS afflicted, drug dealing, stealing, and killing race of people. There are many of us who are hard-working, law-abiding, literate, politically active, church attending, health-conscience, charitable and compassionate people. We believe in educating ourselves and our children. We uphold God's laws and the law of the land. We fight against racism, sexism, and poverty. We want , as Dr. King spoke from the book of Amos, to "let justice run down as waters, and righteousness as a mighty stream." (Amos 5:24 KJV) We want equality. We long for freedom and justice. We believe that we have the inalienable right to pursue life, liberty, and happiness. We want peace, to live in safe, clean neighborhoods and to have clean water, food on our tables, affordable housing, and the best schools for our children. We don't want handouts, we don't want condescending attitudes, or pity from other races. We can stand on our own two feet and work just like the next man (or woman).

Yesterday, I cast my vote at the local courthouse when I got off of work. So, the next thing I'll do is anxiously await the voting results starting November 4th. I'll be on the Internet, watching the news. and listening to the radio. I am ready for change. I am hopeful. And I know that this country needs a changing of the guard. Not an African-American president to just speak for black folk only-- but an intelligent, compassionate, attention commanding and respectable person to speak for all Americans- white, black, red, yellow, pink and green!

Go 'head on, Senator Obama, future Prez of the United States of America. Do your thang! Show the world that we're smart, passionate, articulate, hard-working and that we MATTER! America, don't take us for granted. Don't look past us, or through us. There are intelligent thoughts in our heads, there's compassion in our hearts, we have a mind and a desire to work, and we must be respected, heard, and dealt with as equals!