See Inside of Me

Happy New Year!

2012-01-06T23:14:00.003-06:00

Greetings Dear Readers! Happy 2012! I said I would post my goals for 2012..so here I go. This year I will start a second stream of income and work on getting into Grad school, and I'm taking a real vacation this year--not just taking time off and staying home. Even though being off is nice, going somewhere is better! And I'm committed to some personal changes as well--like no more procrastination, reading and studying God's Word and trusting God more. That's all I can think of now. There's a lot of things I'd like to do, but I don't want to try to take on too much. I will update you dear readers soon! Much love to you! simply beautiful.

It's That Time Again!

2011-12-23T22:29:00.002-06:00

Hi Readers!

I'm sorry for the delay in posting. I've been kinda busy. You know, just one thing after another...and another. Anyway, it is that time again! It's time to set goals for 2012. The one thing I will not do is rehash the goals from 2011. If I didn't get it done, well...I just didn' t get it done. And what I did get done, I'll continue to do. I've really been thinking about this. I'm sort of torn. Do I really want to create another list or just live life as it comes? I definitely enjoy having a list as a guide. It helps me to envision where I'm going, what I need to do to get there and what I need to develop to stay there! So...for 2012 I'll post a whole new set of goals....as soon as I can get them together in my head so I can put it in writing. I'll update again soon! Really...I will. There's 8 days left in the year so I know I've got to grt crackin'.

Silence is a Lie

2011-10-28T08:22:00.014-05:00

Hi Readers! I apologize for not posting for a while. It always seems like yesterday I said I was going to do better...and when I turn around yesterday was almost 2 months. Well, if I'm all forgiven then I'll just move on to writing. As you all know, I recently got my own place and this blog will explain one of the reasons. It's really hard to admit, but I believe that I will feel better once I get this out. I've been doing some studying lately and I found that confession is good...and confession is painful. But what I also learned is that confession heals, delivers, and sets free. And there are some things I want to be totally free from. I found this quote by Yvegeny Yvetushenko, a Russian poet, that I was quite enlightened by. Who would have thought that a black woman from Texas would find something in common with a Russian? Just goes to show that people is just people...no matter what part of the world or what race or gender. Any way, he said " When truth is replaced by silence, then the silence is a lie." I've been silent about the truth...and I'm tired of the lie.
So here I go...revealing another 'secret'. For about the last 10-15 years, my mom has been a hoarder. She buys things...dishes, vases, t.v.'s, dvd players, etc. that she's never used...never even opened. She has plenty of nice things, but no place to display them, because they are all stacked on top of each other. It has been a difficult life... not answering the door when people drop by unexpectedly, and then not answering the phone when they call...knowing that someone's home...never, not ever having friends or family over. My greatest disappointment was when my brother died. We couldn't have anyone over to comfort us, or bring us a meal, or pray with us. There's no place to sit, I couldn't offer them a glass of water, I couldn't promise they wouldn't have something crawling near or on them. We had to have the funeral car meet us at my aunt's house to go to the funeral. That was so hurtful and embarrassing and such a dishonor to my brother's memory.

While living there, I found that I was constantly irritable and agitated. I loathed going to the house after work. It was never home---(home is love, comfort, peace and joy, etc. , and we just didn't have it.)
One thing I came to realize is that people are quick to judge. They think you're being bourgie when you're just trying to protect yourself from embarrassment. If other family members could see the house, I know the first things they are going to say..."why do you live like this? why don't you just clean up?" It wasn't that simple. Many times I wished it was. But, hoarding is a serious illness, not just a bad habit. The person suffers from some sort of mental anguish that tells them that they need to hold on to things.. a lot of things... from useful and practical things to totally useless and impractical, broken, dirty things. There is no reasoning with her...no bargaining..no amount of pleading, no amount of pushing. I've tried all of that. I tried professional help, but she refuses. She doesn't see that she has a problem, it's always someone else that has a problem. As always, the first step to healing is to admit to self that there is a problem.
Because of this, I just couldn't deal with the stress anymore. I got out of the situation for my own self sanity. My family--aunts, uncles and cousins --think I'm the worst daughter for leaving my mom when she is so sick--I feel bad about it, but I've done the best I can do. I tried to help by being compassionate and taking her slowly...but it seems I did more harm than good. So I have totally given the situation to God.
You see, she's not the only one who suffers. My dad, my son and I suffer too. Not just because the house is unsanitary, and there's nowhere to sit, nowhere to cook, no way to have a normal life...but we have to watch her slowly die from the ailments caused by her excessive need for stuff. Yes, breathing debris when you are already asthmatic will have dire effects. So, I can endure the family's disapproval...as hard as that is. The even harder part for me is watching my mom lose her vitality, her spirit...and her life...all because it seems she loves her stuff more than her family...even herself. And as difficult as it is, I feel that it's best for me to walk away and leave her to what she thinks she wants.

The reason I chose to write about this is because it's eating me up inside. I'm praying to God to free me from the effects her hoarding has cause me and my son. Writing and praying about it is a release for me. And who knows, my writing about it just might help somebody else.

simply beautiful
.

Can you believe this?

2011-09-01T23:38:00.003-05:00

Note: Read with caution. This is a tough issue about abortion.
I couldn't sleep last night, so I went on line and read some news hoping that would get me sleepy. What did I do that for? Instead it got me incised! That is a word, isn't it? Enraged, mad, upset...made me wanna say, "what the ....!!!!" While reading the news, I stumbled across this story. It's gotta be a story...somebody tell me it ain't real. There is a lady in Idaho suing the state because she can not get a legal abortion after twenty weeks or more. The experts say that at twenty weeks the fetus can feel pain, and therefore it is inhumane to abort. Mmmmmm. This same lady was pregnant in June, but with her sisters help aborted the baby by taken a mix of pills they got off the internet. She was approximately six months into the pregnancy and authorities found the fetus in a box in her home. Her reason for not having the baby is because she's single. unemployed. AND already has three other children.

Yeah...just let that marinate.

Okay why is it that no one is asking the obvious questions? Why is she having SEX if she doesn't want anymore children? And since she's having sex, why not use protection? And my personal favorite...where do the baby daddy be at?!!!

Okay, okay. I know--don't ask such things. But, I am so tired of people...women in particular...behaving badly and sweeping that behavior problem under the rug. I guess it's true that people have a right to do what they want to do. But remember, God is still watching. So, I am clamering down from my soapbox now. Please continue with your normal activities. Yes, yes, carry on. And if your normal activities should happen to include sex, use some type of birth control if you don't want kids. I don't want to read about you in the news suing the state because of your own self behavior.

simply beautiful.

Update on Goals for 2011

2011-08-03T11:50:00.004-05:00

Hello Good People!
Look at me! Posting 2 days in a row! Wooo-Hoo! I told you I'd do better. :)
I've been reading over the blog today, making changes and such and I discovered I have not given an update on the goals I posted for this year. I'm so glad to report that I have accomplished much. I still have some work to do ( isn't it always that way, though? ) but I've got a lot to be proud of.
1. believe. My faith has increased tremendously. God has moved in my life and I'm doing things I only dreamed of doing. My faith continues to increase day by day. God is awesome!
2. go back to school. This is a work in progress.
3.write more. I haven't stopped writing, I just haven't posted. I'm doing more of both as of right now.
4. pray more. Oh yeah...in everthing give thanks!
5.love. WoW. I didn't know when I wrote this several months ago that I would be challenged in this area. I'm having that issue right now--loving unconditionally even when people wrong you. Well not just people--Love even though family members talk about you and spread false information...maintain unconditional love when church members look at you crazy for saying 'good morning'. Yeah. good stuff.
6.read more. I am working on expanding the subject materials that I read and to read daily.
7.learn to shoot. Ya girl is licensed to carry and I have attended and passed shooting/safety class. I'm ready to purchase...so govern yourselves accordingly.
8.lower my tolerance for other people's foolishness. This is tied into #5. I've learned that there are some people I can only love from afar. One thing I learned is the more foolishness I tolerate, the more foolishness they bring. So, I've lowered my tolerance for foolishness --I cut it off, I walk away, I hang up the phone, (in their face if need be! ) and I raised my ability to love unconditionally. I never thought they'd go hand in hand.
9. encourage myself. WoW. that's a tough one. I'm always encouraging others and I've found that I have to turn some of that inward. Not everyone will encourage you because 1) they don't want to see you doing better than they are; or 2)they are so caught up in their own grief that they can't see far enough outside themselves to even wish you 'good day'; or 3) they too busy keeping up mess and couldn't say an encouraging word if they tried.
10. My favorite--taking 'me' time with God. Yes, I've increased the time I spend alone with God and I'm working on making even more time.
11. find a worthy cause and get involved. I haven't found just one cause to consistently be involved in, but I've volunteered in the youth department in my church. It's fun working with the little ones. But my goal by the end of the year is to be consistently involved in working with food banks/feeding the homeless, fighting Heart disease in Women (go red for women), HIV/AIDS organizations and helping youth in music. There are so many worthy causes that need volunteers and donations. And guess what?...it all ties back into #5....love.

take it light. stay cool during this time of hundred and hell degrees. and love unconditionally.

simply beautiful
.

2011-08-02T17:01:00.002-05:00

Greetings!
It's been a while since I've updated --so sorry. I'll do better. I promise. I've just been so busy for the last few months. For one thing, I've moved. It was quite a job moving my home and workplace all at once. I'm definitely loving my new home. It's nice and quiet...and it feels like home. I don't have the stress and strife that I had where I lived before. I don't have much, but at the same time I have more than I had before. That sounds like an oxymoron, doesn't it? I don't have much--I'm in need of some furniture. You know...a couch, some chairs, tables, a bed, etc. But I have more than I had before in that I have peace of mind. I have peace--no one yelling and throwing monkey poop fits at the drop of a dime makes a big difference! There's just no amount of money that can take the place of the feeling you have when you have reached the place called 'peace of mind'. And now that I've got peace, I find it's companion has also moved in with me...I also have joy.
Well, I haven't had a chance to get with my Auntie yet. I know you all think I'm an idiot...all that big talk and still no resolution?!! I still want to get together with her, so I'm gonna put it on my to do list to email her in a few days to suggest we get together! How's that for action? I'm puttin' on my 'to do list'. LOL. I really miss her and would like to sit and chat.
Well, this might be enough for now. I've got to go take a test today in Advance Bible Study. Yeah, your girl is trying to get some knowledge. Only thing is, my instructor said the test would be next week, but he changed his mind and decided to test tonight because he knows that nobody studied. He's a slick one. But he's right. I've been waiting for the class tonight so that I'd know what I needed to memorize...uh study for the test next week. Pray my strength.

Taking the Journey to He who is Within

2011-03-03T16:26:00.007-06:00

As I go along, I often find that my life and what I write will intertwine at times. This is one of those times. I'd set 11 goals for 2011 and I am well on my way to fulfill them. Number one of the list is to believe...or have faith. A great faith. More than faith the size of a mustard seed. I need a big faith. Like Abraham's faith. Or Moses's faith.
You know, Hebrews eleven and one faith. For by it the elders obtained a good testimony. (Hebrews 11:2)
So let me tell you what's happened. I said in my last entry that one should "go back to those you've wronged or you feel have wronged you-- apologize and set things in order, because you believe." So if you were wronged or were the one to do someone else wrong doesn't matter--go and apologize and get the relationship straight. Well, I feel that I was wronged by some family members several years ago. Ever since that happened I decided to 'isolate' and 'insulate' myself from them. I just get tired of being taken advantage of, looked over, and looked at like I'm crazy. So I just declined any invitations to have dinner or otherwise be involved with family members. Well, you've got to know me. I'm big on family. I'm the one who organizes events and invites people to this and that.
So what's happened is, one of my aunts emailed me last week and said that she's concerned that she has not seen me for a while ( almost 2 years) and that she misses having me around. She told me she loves me and really extended the olive branch. She said that we need to get together and just chat..we could have breakfast or lunch, or dinner...or go for some drinks...catch a movie...go to church...or even go to a club...(now that's stretching it) whatever-- just as long as we get together. Now I was moved by this, but if you know anything about simply beautiful, you know she's skeptical. Is Auntie just trying to set me up to tear me down? again. Or is Auntie really extending an olive branch, 4 really real? I have to admit, I cried and cried the day I read the email. This doesn't usually happen to me. I'm the one who plays 'mediator' between disputing folks. I'm the one apologizes for wrongs real or imagined, whether I did wrong or I am the one who was wronged. I'm the one who tries to 'do the right thing'. But not this time. I was just too hurt. And I didn't even realize how hurt and angry I was until I got her email. I'd been walking around all this time acting like I'm impenetrable, and all strong and nothing gets to me. I lied when I just said I didn't know it. I knew it. I just didn't know the hurt ran so deep. Now, I'm not used to this...I didn't even know how to respond because I'm usually on the other end of things. I'm used to people steamrolling over me and getting up with a smile saying, 'I'm okay'. I'm good". Not any more. I have to admit that I'm hurt and I'm angry and get this monkey off my back so that I can move forward. I couldn't believe that someone was actually coming to me to say 'sorry, I did you wrong. Let's make amends'. At first, I didn't know what I was going to do.
Well, I thought about it for several days after I got the email and finally came to the conclusion that I will take a chance. I love my Auntie. We'd always had a very good relationship--we love the Lord, we love family, we enjoy a lot of the same activities, and some even say we look alike. And also, it dawned on me. I have to live the life that I write about. How can I suggest that you believe and have faith, that you allow God to be God in your life, that you go back and set things in order if I'm not willing to do the same?
So...here I go. Taking the journey to forgiveness, to love, and to He who is within.

simply beautiful

He's Within Me

2011-01-09T20:04:00.003-06:00

Everything that I'll ever need is within me. I can write my own future. I can live out my dreams. I can reach my goals. All that I have to do is BELIEVE. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (PHIL. 4:13). All of my help is from God--and where is God? He's within me!
(copyright May 23, 2010. simply beautiful)

"Life is about pressing on despite the fear." Danielle Belton Being told 'no' does not carry the cold, harsh incredible finality that we've given that 2 letter word. It is simply "a suggestion that one should try something else", choose to do something different, or go an alternate route, if you will. We often take the word 'no' as the definitive answer. That the subject is finished, the fight is over, the victory is won by someone other than me. It's not so. I have everything I need within me to write my own future, to live out my dreams, to right any wrongs, and to reach the goals I've set for myself. Despite fear, anxiety, embarrassment, or the disappointment of being told 'no', I must still press on. You see, there is more than one way to skin a cat. That's what the old folks say. And if that is true, then I must move in the direction of my goal, press pass the haters and the naysayers and all those negative conotations that go along with being told 'no'. 'No' is not the final answer when you have a promise from God. But the enemy wants you to think that it is. When you're told 'no' that's the time to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go to war. Go back to the drawing board if you must, but go back because you believe. Go back to school for that Master's degree, because you believe. Go back to those you've wronged or you feel have wronged you-- apologize and set things in order, because you believe. You must believe and receive the promises of God-- for if God said it, then He is faithful to bring it to pass. That's His job. Our job is to believe then roll up our sleeves and go to work, for faith without works is dead. (JAMES 2:20).

I want to thank Danielle Belton, The Black Snob, for her quotes. She really inspired me to get back into my writing and to run on. You see, I've been wrestling with some things for too long. I really didn't realize it until I was talking with a friend one day about a business plan and she said to me, ' Miss simply beautiful' you act like you don't deserve this. That's when it dawned on me that I've spent too many nights crying, sent up too many 'dead air' prayers, and wasted too much time because I'd been brainwashed, hoodwinked, bamboozled into thinking that I do not deserve to have nice things in this life. THAT IS A LIE FROM THE VERY PITS OF HELL-- AND SATAN, I REBUKE YOU IN THE NAME OF JESUS!
As a child of God, I have health, wealth and riches untold. As long as I have the favor of God, I have favor among men. My God can do anything but fail--and He told me that He will never leave me nor forsake me. So, whatsoever I ask of Him, He will do it! And He gets the glory! (JOHN 14:13)

simply beautiful.

Check out Danielle Belton's award winning blog www.blacksnob.com

A New Year's Prayer

2010-12-31T00:30:00.006-06:00

Greetings and Happy New Year. I want to share a prayer with you. I wish I could take credit for writing it, but I didn't. I found it on the 'net and tweeked it a bit. As always, as you celebrate the incoming of the new year be safe--remember to love one another as you love yourselves--and have some fun!
Let us pray:

Our Father,

Our God of our yesterdays, today, and our tomorrows.

We praise You for Your unequaled greatness.

Thank You for the year behind us and for the year ahead.

Help us in Your new year, Father, to fret less and laugh more.

To teach our children to laugh by laughing with them.

To teach others to love by loving them.

Knowing, when Love came to the stable in Bethlehem, He came for us.

So that Love could be with us, and we could know You.

That we could share Love with others.

Help us, Father, to see Your love song in every sunrise,

to hear Your love song in the chirping of birds,

in the stories of our old folks, and in the dreams of our children.

Help us to stop that we may see and hear Your love songs,

for in them we may know You more.

We rejoice in the world that You loved into being.

And we thank You for brand new mercies each day.

We pray for peace, for light, and for hope, that we might spread them to others.

Forgive us for falling short this past year.

We leave the irreparable past in your hands, and step out into the unknown of 2011, knowing that this new year You will go with us.

We accept Your gift of a new year and we rejoice in what's ahead, depending upon You to help us do exactly what You want.

We realize it is You who makes the impossible possible.

We rejoice in You, Father!!

It is in the power of the Sweet Holy Spirit and

In the Wonderful, Awesome, Magnificent name of Jesus

that we offer this new year's prayer

Amen.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T21:33:00.003-06:00

For unto us a child is born,
Unto us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called Wonderful Counselor,
Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Isaiah 9:6

simply beautiful

Eleven Goals for 2011

2010-12-24T23:00:00.009-06:00

Merry Christmas to you!

I've started thinking, and you know how dangerous that is. Every time I think of something, work follows. Anyhow, I was thinking that I need to set some goals for 2011. The Word says that without a vision, the people perish. So, I asked myself, 'How can one get where one is going if there is no guide or a map?' And myself answered, "It is impossible". So, this is my list. By no means is this list set in stone, it's an outline. This list is not exhaustive--I've just named 11 things, but there's more... and neither are the items in any particular order. Eleven things I will do in 2011 include:

1.believe
2.go back to school
3.write more, it's relaxing
4.pray more
5.love
6.read more
7.learn to shoot
8.lower my tolerance level for other people's foolishness
9.encourage myself (because sometimes no one else will)
10.take frequent "me" time with God.
11.find a worthy cause and get involved.

simply beautiful

simply beautiful

2010-12-16T00:07:00.004-06:00

Who is she? 5 foot three and 1/2 inches, my weight ain't your bidness! thank you, black hair (with a little gray mixed in for wisdom, mind you), pretty brown eyes, high cheekbones, small pouty lips, healthy hips and thighs, sweet disposition, wicked sense of humor, kinda smart too--definitely a smart mouth, anyway--works hard, goes to church often...real often, single mother...looking for a brother who will love her for who she is....
She is who? a child of God who is talked about, lied on, and made to think she don't matter to no one. She is on the outside looking in...because she doesn't quite fit in. People know her face but no one really takes the time to know her. Not even her own family. They say she's nothing. She's sexually promiscuous....that she's sneaky and bares watching. How can one who is celibate be promiscuous? Dear family, mum and dad... Don't you know me by now? Can't you see inside of me? I'm not who you think that I am....
I'm simply beautiful.

I'm Baaaaaccck!!

2010-11-06T02:58:00.002-05:00

I've been on a serious Hiatus.
Missing in Action.
Sabbatical.
A.W.O.L.
Just gone...real gone. But I'm back now. And fiesty.

Get ready!

simplybeautiful

My People

2010-05-02T22:36:00.002-05:00

The night is beautiful
so the faces of my people.

The stars are beautiful
so the eyes of my people.

Beautiful also is the sun
Beautiful also are the souls of my people.

Langston Hughes

poetry for the soul contributed by simply beautiful.

News from simply beautiful

2010-04-22T23:07:00.004-05:00

Hi Readers!
It's been a minute since I've posted. Your girl has been quite busy lately.

I've been assigned a position as a board member of a non-profit group.

I cut my hair.

I've traveled to NEW YORK!

and I'm now EMPLOYED!!!!
So, after 13months of 'not qualified' and 'over-qualified' and simply 'no', my unemployment checks stopping about 3 weeks ago ( way to go Congress!) and some real time getting to know myself and my God--I've got a new gig. Actually, a couple of new gigs. More about that later.

I have not forgotten about the topics some of my readers requested. I'm getting to those--hopefully in just a few days. But in between time, I've got a question. Or really maybe just a comment. A friend of mine lost her husband about 2 weeks ago. I was not able to make the service because of work and family commitments--but another friend who did make it sent me an email. She and some friends took pictures outside of the funeral-- I mean smiling, cheezing, posing,,,the whole nine. None of the body, mind you. But the 'grieving widow' was outside of the church posing and smiling for pictures. Really???? I thought it was kind of tasteless. Am I missing something?.... Am I out of touch? Just too old-fashioned? I mean what is the decorum here? I know she doesn't need to stay in a funk forever--but my goodness, you're in the process of burying your spouse...a little solemness is in order. Just a thought.

Okay. I'm gonna close it down. Got to get some sleep so I can be ready for work in the morning.
WoW. It feels good to be able to type that.

Keep it real. Hugs and kisses.

simply beautiful.

Another Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T23:27:00.008-06:00

It's another Valentine's Day. And I don't have a romantic interest. So, it's been a day to love myself. Simply because my God-sent man has not yet come along, does not mean I can't show myself some love. Oh, I have faith that he's coming....just around the next corner. And I'm going to be ready for him. I hope he's ready for me. For I can be pretty demanding. I mean, if I give of my love and my time....I expect his love and time in return. No one sided relationships for your girl!

One thing I've noticed this V-day is that there are a lot of sisters who are bitter. OhMyGoodness!! What is that about? Valentine's day is all about love. And love is God...and God is love. So what you don't have a romantic partner yet? Thank God for that. He's getting you ready for your intended and He's getting your intended ready for you. There's no sense in getting with someone and neither one of you are ready to handle the other. That spells disaster. Believe me. I've been living the pure hell of a couple that was not meant to be together. My parents apparently got together because of lust--Stayed together for the children and to save face with their respective families-- And are still together, because after almost 50 years they don't know anything else to do. Are they in love? Yes and No.

Yes. Because they actually care about one another's welfare. But that's easy. Love thy neighbor.

No. Because they are always at each other's throat. To complete the above passage of scripture...love thy neighbor as thyself. They certainly don't love each other as if they are loving themselves. It is also possible that neither one has self-love. I can believe that.

So. Be careful what you pray for. God hears and answers prayer so you will get what you ask for but it may come with something else that you never wanted. My mom told me she prayed for a man with the same first name as hers ( she has a unisex name...you know-- like Tracy, Bobby, Sandy, etc.) And I thought to myself....'is that all you asked for from the All Mighty, Powerful, Sovereign God?' I mean, while you've got His attention, you should at least ask for a man with good character qualities like--
Heavenly Father. Send a man who is sold out to God, a praying man, a working man who wants to love one woman, loves kids, and animals. A man with direction and vision. A man who wants nice things for his wife, family and himself. A man who is employed, an entrepreneur, who is working and is willing to continue to work, and be creative. A man who is clean and is a gentleman. A man who is willing to learn and willing to listen. He is not intimidated by but very supportive and encouraging of his mate's gifts, talents, abilities, education, money, and beauty. He loves his mother and treats her with the utmost respect.

Yes, this is my prayer. God, please hear your daughter this evening. And if I've left out any good thing, I know that you will throw that in as well. And the bad, well, you will give me the grace to handle it--for I realize that I, too have shortcomings...You know, like my temper and times when I whine instead of work. Cover my faults in love as you cover his--for love covers a multitude of sins. Be it far from me to have the same type of marital relationship as my parents. I desire a marriage as You originally designed. Transparent. Loving. Caring. Honest. a real Friendship. Romance. Sharing. and Companionship. I love You, Lord. I honor and adore You. You are the center of my joy.

Thank You, God for being my Husband, my Provider, my Friend.

In Jesus Name. Amen.

Now sisters--be prayerful instead of bitter...borrow my prayer if you must--but pray you must. Don't leave the most important decision in your life up for chance.

Happy Valentine's Day!

simply beautiful

HIV/Aids Awareness in the Black Community

2010-02-02T19:35:00.002-06:00

Today is National Black HIV/Aids Awareness Day. This topic is close to my heart for several reasons. There are many brothers and sisters who live with the virus. I make it a point to place something on my blog that will bring awareness that HIV/Aids is still rampant in the African-American community, because we don't hear this on the news. But please, make it a point to keep yourself updated on the lastest information. HIV/Aids is not going away. It can...if we educate ourselves, love and protect ourselves and one another.

Great websites to gain knowledge are www.BlackAids.org and www.ledgemagazine.com.

Get tested.
Know your status.
Protect yourself and your partner.

simply beautiful
.

Random Thoughts

2010-01-31T16:23:00.005-06:00

Greetings Readers!
I hope this blog entry finds you blessed. I am doing well. 2010 has been one excitement after another thus far. As of today, I think I've been in church more days than I've been home. (How is that possible?!!) I've been reflecting on some things--2009 was a challenge. It was a year of change, a year of disappointments, a year that stretched me in ways I did not know that I could stretch--and not break. I learned a lot about myself. I cried a lot more than in previous years--but I laughed a lot as well.

In 2009, I began to see some people for who they really are. I found that certain people close to me can not be trusted. I can't trust them with my feelings or my emotions, my money, my time, or my materials. Those people really disappointed me in '09. I thought their character was much more solid...what a let down. But I'm moving on.

I found God faithful in 2009. I still find Him faithful.

I've found that I need to reorder my priorities. There are some things I'd learned in childhood that I now need to forget---so that I can be taught the right way. (Also known as renewing the mind! )

I find that prayer changes things....and me.

I'm finding in '10 that there are some things (and some people) that I simply must let go. I can't look back and I can't tighten my grip on them because it's holding me back from destiny. In order for me to move forward, I must let go. Oh, I may mourn the loss--that's only normal. But, I can not receive the blessing God's promised if my fist is tightly clinched. I've got to open my hand in order for God to place something in it.

Friends, at this time I don't know the reason for these random thoughts. I hope that I'll be able to look back on them in a couple of months and find that I really wrote something profound or jumpstarted something in my life. Perhaps I'll find out that someone else has been helped by my random brain calisthenics.

Whatever the reason, my peeps...please keep your heads up...stay prayed up....because when you look up you'll find that you are looking to the hills from whence comes our help. All of our help comes from the Lord.

Be blessed and not stressed.

simply beautiful
.

Random Questions...

2010-01-02T19:58:00.010-06:00

Happy New Year!
I thought it would be fun and interesting to try something new for 2010. I found these questions and decided I'd answer them. This will allow you to see inside of me. Enjoy a little light hearted reading to start the New Year.

1. Name a celebrity who shares your date of birth:
I had to look it up because I didn't know anyone right off the bat...but Lil' Wayne and I were born on September 27th....wOw.

2.Where was your first kiss?
My first real kiss happened in a little country town called Fairfield, Tx.

3.Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?
No. Never.

4.Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
Yes. Whopped him right upside the head....shudda knocked his lights out, but I barely tapped him.

5.Have you ever sung in front of a large group of people?
Yes. Never shudda did it. They seemed to like it, but I'm not that good. I tell you one thing, I won't be doing it ever again if I can help it!

6.What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
His smile. I love it when his eyes shine when he sees me.

7.What turns you off?
I hate it when I first meet a guy and he approaches me talking dirty right off the bat. Don't get me wrong, I like dirty talk-- jess lemme get to know you first!

8.What do you order at Starbucks?
Lately I like a vanilla latte'.

9.What is your biggest mistake?
I can't say. I've made quite a few big mistakes. God is good. He covers me.

10.Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?
No.

11. Do you still watch kiddie movies or tv shows?
Of course! I want to see the Princess and the Toad. I watch Sesame Street becuz I love those Muppets! Also, some of the animated cartoons are actually more adult than kiddie anyway.... i.e. Batman the Animated Series, Gargoyles,.... plus they teach life lessons.

12.Did you have braces?
Yes. I know you can't tell today...but believe me I still feel the effects of them. They did some good becuz I was supposed to have lost all my teeth by age 30 ( so said the orthodontist)..Thank God I still got them.

13. What is the most romantic thing someone has done for you?
wOw. I think I'm still waiting on this one.

14. When do you know it's love?
When I can think of no one else/when I can't think of any place I'd rather be than with him/when no one else compares to him.
I'm still looking to be found by him--and I'm taking applications!! hint...hint...

15. Say something totally random about yourself:
If I gave you my love.
I'd tell you what I'd do.
I'd expect a whole lotta love outta you.....

16. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
No way. I don't like pain.

17. What's something that really annoys you:
People who constantly whine and complain about any and everything--especially small things.

18.Name something that you really like:
Quiet time.

19.Can you dance?
Yes. Not as well as I used to...but I still got a couple of moves.

20. What's your dreams and aspirations for 2010?
I want to do bigger and better things in my personal, ministry, family and professional life. Blessings and Manifestations { B. A. M.!! There it is!! }

simply beautiful
.

2009 Christmas gift exchange

2009-12-17T02:02:00.004-06:00

My son is the absolute greatest!! He did good with his Christmas gift choice for me. Our gift exchange day was wonderful! He got what he wanted, which was the new DROID phone. And I got an unexpected surprise. He bought me just what I wanted-- an IPod Touch! Woo-Hoo!!

Merry Christmas to you from the Lochead man and his simply beautiful mom.

.

Guess who's coming ( or not ) to Christmas Dinner

2009-12-15T21:10:00.009-06:00

December 18 update:
Well, dad has come to me saying he wants to go to dinner next Friday. I don't wanna. I told him I'm thinking about it. He said okay. I don't wanna go. Really. I don't. But,I'm thinking about it anyway.

(cheerfully singing) Deck the halls with boughs of holly....fa la la la laaaaaaa....awww who am I kidding?!!!
Right about now, I'm ready to deck some family members with the back of my hand! Yep. You guessed it. Family issues brewing once again.

As you know, Christmas day is just around the corner. We've been invited to my cousin's for dinner. And everyone's got their eyes on my dad, mom, my son and me. Why? Good question. Well, let me take a stab at an answer. As I've posted before, my parents are separated...they really don't admit it...but it's going on three years now. Although separated, they continue to go to some family functions together. They don't do holidays, though. But all the brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews are waiting with baited breathe to see whether the family's longest married couple is going to show face at Christmas dinner together...or will one show without the other...or will they both be missing in action?

So in an effort to keep peace, last week I asked each one individually, "Will you be going to the family dinner?" You see, I need to know because they'll depend on me to drive. Dad said something to the tune of, 'that's interesting'. So I'm like, "OK-- JUST WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!!! Is that a 'yes' or is that a 'no'"?!! And Mom said, 'no one told me anything about Christmas dinner'. OH-EM-GEE!! Can I buy a straight answer here?!!

So fast forward to today. Mom asked me what I'm doing for Christmas. I said 'I don't know. I can't seem to get a straight answer from you or your husband about going to the family gathering or just having dinner at home''. Just before I had to break the bank to buy a clue, she graciously gave me her answer--an emphatic 'NO'--she won't be in attendance.
Well, at least I have one answer. As for me, I don't want to go no way ( see May 2009 post "Here we go again" )--and that's a totally different story that I might get to later. But for now, I'll just plan a small Christmas dinner at the 2412 (my house).

Any ideas for a menu anyone?

Family.
Gotta luv 'em.
Can't kill 'em.
You get jail time for that.

Merry Christmas!
simply beautiful
.

10 Days til Christmas

2009-12-15T02:25:00.003-06:00

I'm feeling a bit more festive than usual now that it's 10 days before Christmas. The holiday season has been difficult ( to say the least ) for me since I lost my older brother in 2007. I don't allow that to stop my celebration...it's just takes me a while to get in a festive mood. I'm always ready to celebrate Jesus--no matter what season it is.
My dilemma is this...my son wants to take me shopping tomorrow for my Christmas present. Bless his heart. He has been working part-time for the most part of the year and has saved his paycheck and wants to buy me something. His problem is that he doesn't know what to buy me. He says I'm hard to shop for and he doesn't want to disappoint me nor waste his money. Smart guy. I love the presents he's picked for me in the past, but he says that the process leaves him drained and confused. I don't want him to feel this way, so I've agreed that he can supply the funds, and I will allow him to take me shopping and pick out my own gift. SWEET!!!
Why is this a dilemma? I hate to admit it...but...I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT!!!
What I found out this evening is that he has put his head together with his grandmother. They will pool their $$$ and he is suggesting that I will be pleased with the gift he is planning for me. How ingenious. I can hardly wait.
So what we've decided to do is have our personal Christmas gift exchange on December 16th...just my son and I. This is because of commitments to our extended family on the 25th. Didn't buy that one? Okay. That's not the whole truth. Here's the rest. He can't wait until the 24th or the 25th for his present and neither can I.
So-- I'll let you know how it goes later this week.

Merry Christmas!!

with love
simply beautiful
.

Single and Seeking

2009-12-10T20:06:00.004-06:00

It's the end of the year. In twenty-one days it'll be 2010. And guess what? I'm still single. Oh, don't get me wrong. I love the freedom that single living affords. I come and go as I please. I spend my money as I see fit. I wear what I want...eat what I want..sleep as late, as much or as little as I want. I have none to answer to but God. Good deal. Right?
Ye-ea-ah, right. It's a good deal to a certain extent. Yous see it would be great--- if I didn't have this deep-seated desire to be boo'd up, coupled up, have a man, a significant other, or also known as a huz-ban. I am single and seeking....companionship. A man to love me, to hold me and during these long cold lonely nights...to keep me warm--by all means necessary! ( if you get my drift).
I'd hoped 2009 would be the year I'd be found by Mr. Right. I try not to push it--just to let things flow and happen in its own time. But here I am again at the end of the year--wondering if I will ever have a boo. After waiting so long, it would seem I'd give up hope...but no I just keep holding on, keeping hope alive.
So as 2009 winds up ( or down ), and I look ahead to 2010, I ask God with a sincere heart...
Send my man, Lord
the one you fashioned for me.
To have and to hold to cherish,
and love and keep me company.

Merry Christmas!!!

simply beautiful
.

What a (Black) Man Wants...

2009-12-07T23:56:00.005-06:00

Well, I never thought I'd do it, but I'm jumping on the Tiger Woods bandwagon. I've got a bit of a different spin, though. Well, maybe not so different. It's the age old song and dance. Black man--white, Asian, or Latina woman. A very loaded subject.
My question of the day is why? Why is it that our black men, the wealthy athlete, musician, singer or politician...a fine brotha chooses not to be with a sistah? Why is it that the lady on his arm can not use his mama's comb? Is it that we ( black women) are pushing them away? Is it that we don't give them what they need? Are we not exciting or exotic enough? Do we talk too much? Are we not smart enough? Not refined? Or maybe just the opposite--Not trampy enough? What is it?
I'm all for loving who you choose to love. There's no fault in having a preference. But I find it kind of odd that African-American men, who were once the white woman's biggest fear (i.e. Emmit Till), is now the white woman's choice for a lover. And her dad is not trying to kill the black man for it. I wonder if some of these women purposely make themselves available to satisfy the fantasies and whims of these well-built, wealthy, and talented black men. And what about her family? Do they endorse these relationships....for the money? Mmmm?
Does that bother you like it bothers me? It actually makes me afraid for myself and my sistahs. We can't seem to find decent men to date, let alone marry. So it seems sistahs are doomed to be single. That being the case, exactly what does a sistah do with her dreams of marrying and having children? Find a sperm donor? Adopt? My. my. my. That's just not the way God intended for us to be fruitful and multiply.

In Loving Memory

2009-11-11T22:42:00.006-06:00

His life began: April 25, 1914 Departed this life for the next: November 9, 2009

Mr. Joe Columbus ...he's my "Big Daddy" (grandfather)

He's been the patriarch of the family--the oldest surviving son of Joe and Manerva. He lived all 95 of his years in the same area where he was born. Matter of fact, his father was born there too. Although most of his 9 brothers and sisters moved away from the area, he never did. He raised 13 children plus some of his grandchildren, nieces and nephews and helped his wife care for her elderly step-daddy. He never attended school beyond 3rd grade--and yet he was a smart man.
Big Daddy, you told me a few years ago that you were ready because all your friends had passed on. The love of your life, Katie Mae had passed. Your cousins, brothers and sisters, save your baby sister, were all gone too. And you said you were ready. There was no one left in your age group with whom you could relate. Well Big Daddy, you are finally home....rest in peace.

He Like to Flirt

2009-11-06T23:06:00.010-06:00

Hi Gentle Readers,

It's been a while, huh? Well, I've been around--just keeping myself busy. Did you miss me? I hope so. Today's title is "He like to flirt". And exactly what man doesn't? You see, I've had this situation now for 2 years. Yes. He smiles and says"hi", I've caught him staring at me, he sings in my ear. He even follows me. But nothing further. Readers...what do you make of that? I'm not sure what's up with it, but I'd appreciate a male point of view. So I checked out a peace written by A Man's Mind. He says that it's an ego thing. Men like to flirt to see if they still got it. Okay. I can handle that. But who would do that for years?

Well, I don't know...but I've given this situation some thought. Maybe he's waiting on me to make a move. Maybe he just likes what he sees. Maybe he's just trying to see if he's 'got it'. I've considered all of that. But I still feel like there's something I've missed. I guess you say why don't I just confront him? What?!! I'm an old fashioned girl. So I did what any old fashioned girl would do. I played coy an ignored him. I stopped speaking and smiling. Guess what happened? He's still flirting.
So an window opened up that allowed me to put him thru a sort of 'test', to see where this brothah's head is at. You know, we all have a tendency to run from adversity. I let a brothah know that this sistah is currently unemployed. What?!! A single mom AND word in the motherland is she ain't got no job?! Not a good combination even though I'm as cute as I am.(smile) So, I thought I'd get to see what he's made of. Truthfully, I wouldn't blame him if he ran away--stop singing in my ear, stop speaking and smiling, you know...bust a trot. But he showed me something different. He's still flirting. So gentle readers, what do you make of that?

I'm trying to figure out: What does the brothah want? Or does he want anything at all? What should a sistah do? Or should a sistah do anything at all? Should the old fashioned sistah just get with the times and go after a brothah? MMMMmmmm...

Decisions...decisions.

Take it light.

simply beautiful
.

October Artist of the Month

2009-11-04T01:48:00.002-06:00

Pastor Marvin L. Winans

All Hell has Broke Loose!

2009-10-20T13:24:00.004-05:00

Hi Readers,
It's been a minute...I know. I hope all is well in your lives. In my life, all hell has broken loose. It's not entirely a bad thing either. I realize that this is a spiritual war (see Ephesians 6:10-20) that we fight and as I am on God's side, I am a target (see Romans 8:35-38). The enemy is trying to keep me from my destiny and he's fighting dirty--using my family...first an aunt and then a cousin, and now my mom--one of my closest connections...to get at me. I was very upset at first--so upset that I was ready to sever ties, but I spoke to God about it and He reminded me---no cross, no crown! He also reminded me that I am too close to let the enemy hinder me. Because He knew me ( Jeremiah 1:5) and I am chosen, predestined, and called (see Romans 8:30)---I am therefore equipped to stand.
When you take a stand for Jesus--the enemy will use those who are closest to you to cut you. Yes, their words are like fiery darts and their actions like piercing arrows, but put on the whole armour of God! It's spiritual warfare---and it's a fixed fight. As children of the Most High God, we always win!!!

From The Winans song --ain't no need to worry what tomorrow's gonna bring....it'll be all over in the morning!

be blessed.

simply beautiful
.

A Mother's Prayer

2009-10-01T21:37:00.002-05:00

Being a single mom, I'm reminded each time I look into my child's face that I need to pray for him. This generation faces so much---so many things that I didn't have to contend with when I was his age and younger. The world has changed so much. Moms, let us remember that we are to always cover our children. Yes, it's important to give them shelter, food, clothing...to tend to their medical needs, their wants and even their desires. But the most awesome thing we can do for our child(ren) is to pray. I found this prayer on the internet and I tweeked it to my liking. It's simple and to the point. Borrow it, change it as needed and pray it as often as you like.

Heavenly Father,
I need your help today.
Please help me to care for the child(ren) You've sent into my life,
I want to help them develop the special gifts You've given them.
As mom, I want to free them to follow their own paths--
and not feel as though I am trying to live my life thru them.
Help me to embrace without clutching,
to support without suffocating,
to correct without crushing.
And help me to live joyfully and playfully,
so they can see Your life in me
Allow me to shine with Your Light so that
they may find their way to you.

Amen.

September 09 Artist of the Month

2009-10-01T17:27:00.001-05:00

For more than a quarter of a century, churches throughout the country have been inspired by the words and music of V. Michael McKay. As a well-respected conductor, clinician, speaker, songwriter, and author, McKay has dedicated his life to a greater level of ministry, with a passion to meet the needs of people in the contemporary Christian community. McKay is a two-time Dove Award winner and a 2000 inductee into the Gospel Hall of Fame. National artists such as Yolanda Adams, Tramaine Hawkins, and Albertina Walker have recorded his songs. McKay's music is published through Schaff Music Publishing and GIA Publications, Inc. His works are also included in a Southern Baptist hymnal supplement, For the Living of These Days and GIA's groundbreaking African American Heritage Hymnal. His articles related to music ministry have been published in Gospel Industry Today magazine. V. Michael McKay studied music at both Southern University in Baton Rouge, Louisiana and Texas Southern University.He now resides in Houston, Texas.

Happy Birthday simply beautiful!

2009-09-28T01:11:00.003-05:00

I meant to update my blog on my actual birthday. Can you believe I forgot? Oh well. Happy Birthday to simply beautiful on Sunday, September 27, 2009. Many, many more!!

An Ode to Me
Beautiful Lady
Smile so sweet
Swing your hips,
Lick your Lips
Glide to your own beat.

Elusive Lady
Hard to find,
Smile your smile,
Dance your dance
Take a chance.

Wonderful Lady
Ever so graceful
So mysterious, yet so serious
trustworthy and faithful.

Pretty Lady
You’re so divine.
And so fine,
as vintage wine,
getting better with time.

Beautiful, Elusive Lady
Special, Tantalizing Lady.
So Wonderful and Pretty, too.
For all you are and all you do
This is an Ode to You
on this special day,
the anniversary of your birth
Celebrate your Worth!

written on September 27th, 2008 1102pm revised Sept. 28, 2009 c. Fort Worth TX USA simply beautiful
.

Who am I and what am I to him?

2009-09-18T23:47:00.004-05:00

I wrote a peace a few months back titled, "Who is he and what is he to me?" describing the qualities that I think are important for a man to have in order for him to be with me. Recently, I've been taking inventory of my life, and the thought occured to me, "what about me? what are the qualities that make me a 'good woman' for a man to pursue?" So I had to turn the tables and let these good men out here know what a good woman looks like. So here I go.
Who I am and what I'll be to him ( my good man)
1. I am a Lady. civilized, educated, poised, possessing a positive attitude, and well-mannered. Webster's dictionary defines a lady as A woman of refined or gentle manners; a well-bred woman; -- the feminine correlative of gentleman. Yep. that's me!
2.I am confident, sure of myself, and I know my worth. I throw on my sweats, do housework & be covered in dust, and still be fine. I can do yardwork & be covered in dirt and still be desirable. And when I shower & throw on my black dress, some pumps, and fix my hair, I'll be a his fine, sweet, sexy lady!
3.I am a helpmate and partner. I will support the head of household, stand by his side, respect his authority and support his decisions as the head of the house.
4. I am powerful. Because praise and prayer are my weapons.
5. There is NOTHING that I won't do for him. I will love, honor, support, and encourage my good man in all positive things.
6. I will anticipate his wants and his needs to the best of my ability.
7. I will love him. I'll let him know by my words and my actions that I care.
8. I will keep my promises. If I say I will, then I will to the best of my ability.
9. No one can influence my opinion of him. Not his family, not mine.
10. He does not need to perform or jump through hoops to earn my love.
11. I am intimate with him and ONLY him. I share my innermost thoughts and feelings, I shower him with my love, with my kiss, and my caress -- no one else.
12. I can not disown him...he can not disown me. We are one.
13. I will cover him. I will pray for him and with him. I will protect his innermost thoughts and feelings. I will sit on his secrets. I will shield his weaknesses as he becomes stronger, I will be a defense for his emotions. I will guard his heart and be a fortress to his body.
Well, that's my list. This is who I am and who I will be to my good God-sent man. Stressing the words 'good and God-sent' to let you men know that jugheads, weed heads, the unemployable, and thugs need not apply. I am a saved, sexy, sadity, strong black woman who needs a saved, sexy, sensational, strong black man. Take Note: I'm taking applications!

simply beautiful
.

Bad Habits

2009-09-18T15:09:00.002-05:00

“Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of.”

Anonymous

Thanks BMWK for the insipiration of the day! Check them out at:
www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com

simply beautiful
.

Wedding Dreams

2009-09-17T23:35:00.005-05:00

It's been a while since I've posted. I hope all is well. I've been quite busy...you know...living and thangs. Last night I had dreams. Yeah. It's been a while since I've been able to dream and remember what it was about. So...I'm gonna share one of my nighttime d.v. (dreamvision) dramas with you. This is the first time I've ever dreamed that I was getting married, that's why I'm sharing.

In this dream, I was at church. ( I dream about church a lot.) I had a meeting set up with a friend. She'd told me that my pastor wanted to hold a series of mock weddings, I guess for training purposes, and I was volunteered to be a mock bride. He wanted everything to look authentic--bride dressed in white, groom in tux, with bridesmaids, attendants, ushers and such. So when I arrived at church, I met my friend and the other young women who were to participate in the mock weddings. We walked thru the sanctuary and went down a flight of stairs, then turned and walked down a long corridor. At the end of the hallway, there were 4 doors numbered 17, 18, 19, and 20. She unlocked door 18 and all of the women walked in, but she stopped me as I tried to enter saying..."oh no, you go over here." She closed the door and moved to number 19, but her key wouldn't work, so she went over to door 20 which unlocked. I went inside and it was like a mini apartment with a sitting area, kitchenette, small room with a daybed and a large dressing room and bathroom combined. So after I looked around, I turned and walked back out to the hallway to ask her for instructions. She then told me, "I need to tell you something. This is not a mock wedding. You are actually getting married today." I was shocked. I asked, "to whom?" She then said, "it really doesn't matter because he's not going to show up" I was hurt and began to cry, slanging snot everywhere. I asked why would anyone want to humiliate me in that way and who arranged all of this and... My friend then said she was just kidding, but I didn't believe her. As I was crying, an older lady who was sent to check on me walked up and asked me what was wrong. I told her that my friend said that this was not a mock wedding and that I was supposed to get married for real, but the groom was not going to show up and I was going to be in this wedding dress at the altar and embarrassed. She got angry at my friend and said, "why did you tell her that?! You know that brides get all nervous! Go and get her dress ready!" Then she turned to me and said, "Look. He'll be here. He is here" and took out her cell phone and dialed a number. After a couple of rings, he said, "hello?" She says, "what you doing?" "Oh nothing, just sitting here waiting. Is she here?" And she turns and gives me this look like 'I told you so!' And she says, "Yeah, she's here. She just did the final fitting in her dress and she looks great! You'll be sooo pleased." And she put her hand on my back, ushering me into my dressing area and saying to him on the phone and to me "Now she's about to get her hair washed and fixed and get a manicure and pedicure, get dressed, and she'll be right there!"
End of dream. Now, this dream kinda worried me. : ) I've had dreams before that have jumped out of dreamland and have actually happened in real life. And it happens exactly the way I dreamed it. But I'm not really worried because my reality right now is that I don't even have a boyfriend... I'm not dating...nothing...
And in my dream, I don't even know who the groom could be. Plus, he never proposed...he just planned a whole wedding, bought a dress, and devised a scheme to make sure I came to church. What kind of man does this?!! Besides, if this dream came true, I'd be afraid...very afraid.
Well, maybe this is just one of my nighttime dramas. This dream has too many holes in it to come true. But just in case, I'm on the lookout for any friend telling me that she's volunteered me to participate in a mock wedding that needs to look like the real deal. ROTFL...

Take it light and take it easy, Readers.
And do yourselves a favor---check things out...don't just fall for the okey-doke!

simply beautiful
.

Aug 09 Artist of the Month

2009-08-29T22:37:00.004-05:00

Marvin Sapp, D. Div.

Not a singer that happens to preach, but a preacher called by God who is gifted to sing.He is a passionate orator and biblical teacher who desires to be a living epistle glorifying our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ both in word and in deed.His recognizable, characteristically rapsy voice rings with power and authority as he masterfully illustrates with excellence the Word of God.

For more info on Marvin Sapp see: http://www.marvinsapp.com/

Hush Your Mouth!!

2009-08-20T13:48:00.003-05:00

A friend sent me this email and I think it's great advice--especially since there are references to God's Word. The author is listed as unknown, but I'd like to say that this came directly from God. Twenty reasons to hush yo mouth! Enjoy and take heed.

Don't open your mouth when:
1. In the heat of anger -Proverbs 14:17
2. When you don't have all the facts -Proverbs 18:13
3. When you haven't verified the story - Deuteronomy 17:6
4. If your words will offend a weaker person - 1 Corinthians 8:10-13
5. When it is time to listen - Proverbs 13:1
6. When you are tempted to make light of holy things - Ecclesiastes 5:2
7. When you are tempted to joke about sin - Proverbs 14:9
8. If you would be ashamed of your words later - Proverbs 8:8
9. If your words would convey the wrong impression - Proverbs 17:27
10. If the issue is none of your business - Proverbs 14:10
11. When you are tempted to tell an outright lie - Proverbs 4:24
12. If your words will damage someone else's reputation - Proverbs 16:27
13. If your words will damage a friendship - Proverbs 16:28
14. When you are feeling critical - James 3:9
15. If you can't say it without screaming it - Proverbs 25:28
16. If your words will be a poor reflection of the Lord or your friends and family - Peter 2:21-23
17. If you may have to eat your words later - Proverbs 18:21
18. If you have already said it more than one time - Proverbs 19:13
19. When you are tempted to flatter a wicked person - Proverbs 24:24
20. When you are suppose to be working instead - Proverbs 14:23

Whoever guards his mouth & tongue keeps his soul from troubles
- Proverbs 21:23
By Author Unknown (by some. But those of us who know God, know the Author!)
Be blessed.
simply beautiful
.

If God Closes One Door...

2009-08-17T10:05:00.003-05:00

'Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway'

Be Blessed!
simply beautiful
.
special thanks to Lyn for the encouragement.

Character

2009-08-15T23:23:00.003-05:00

Crisis doesn't necessarily make character, but it certainly does reveal it.

from The 21 Indispensible Qualities of a Leader
by John Maxwell

simply beautiful
.

God is Able!

2009-08-12T16:10:00.008-05:00

Hi Reader! It's been a while since I've posted. I've been a little busy and haven't really had much to say. Actually, I've been going through some things, as usual, but I forgot one important thing--to blog about it. That's how I work through it and in the process may even help you work through your situation. So here we go--
Sometimes what I'm going through can overwhelm. If I'm not careful I find myself spending my days and nights fretting over what will be, or what won't be. It seems that I forget about having faith and begin to rely on self or my own abiltity to make things happen. But, God's Word in Ephesians, the third chapter and the twentieth verse reminds me:

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us.

We read this verse, yet we still look to man--to our job--or our bank account--or education--or ____( you fill in the blank) to get us through. We do this inspite of the Word of God which tells us in the third chapter of the book of Proverbs, in the fifth verse. The American Standard version which reads:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding.

We know that God is bigger than any situation that you're going through. He's bigger than finances. He's bigger than unemployment. He's bigger than sickness. He's bigger than problems in the home or at the job. He's even bigger than death. For the bible says:

O death where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? 1 Cor 15:55

Sometimes, I change the words to fit the situation so that I can get a better understanding of my benefits and blessings. So if I'm in my situation or if I'm ministering to someone in a certain situation, I might say something like: "O unemployment where is your victory?... or O sickness,... O marital problems... O financial problems...O attempted dream murderer..." This lets me know that although I'm going through a trial, I will come out on the other side--and I will come out Victorious! Because

He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk in integrity. Proverbs 2:7

So, when it looks like you're faced with a mountain that you just feel you can't move....I want to encourage you with Matthew 17: 20; Mark 9:23, and Philippians 4:13

...if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you which means I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, for All things are possible for those who believe.

So do like I'll do--Hide the word in your heart....believe it, receive it and be blessed!

simply beautiful
.

July 09--Artist of the Month

2009-08-03T16:03:00.003-05:00

She’s been called “the Rose of Gospel,” “the church girl,” and “evangelist” but more than anything else, three time Grammy award winner Dorinda Clark Cole is a fired up sister for Christ and one of the most gifted vocalists in the music world today.Carrying on the legacy of her mother, mass choir director pioneer, the late Mattie Moss Clark, along with her award winning contemporary gospel pioneering sisters who have influenced a generation of singers, Dorinda Clark Cole boldly professes her love for our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.Dorinda’s trademark includes runs, scats and anointed preaching. The second from the youngest of The Clark Sisters, Dorinda attributes her fiery, convicting singing style to her mother, who saw the gift of singing and preaching in her at an early age. Back in the 1960’s and 70’s when other children their age were playing outside, Dorinda and her sisters would have to work on their now famous familial harmonies. She says, “We made a lot of sacrifices. My mom was a stickler for making sure we rehearsed before we went out to perform. If we had an engagement on a Saturday or Sunday, during the week she would call us in and say, ‘Hey ya’ll I need you to come in here and rehearse.’ That’s when mom started really putting the discipline in us. She would say, ‘Karen, I want you to take that microphone and sing this note…and now Dorinda, I want you to talk a little bit.’The gift of talking that Dorinda’s mother saw in her as a little girl has evolved into a phenomenal preaching ministry that goes hand in hand with her singing ministry. “I can’t get around the both of them; I can’t leave the stage without saying something…and even when I preach, I can’t leave without singing a line of something,” she laughs.And we love it. Thanks Dorinda, for heeding the call of our Father and using your gift of singing to lift us and your 'gift of talking' to feed us the Word.http://www.dorindaclarkcole.net/

Country RoadSide Evangelist

2009-07-14T16:12:00.007-05:00

Funny story: I went out of town yesterday to check on my grandfather because he'd been placed in a nursing home. When I got to the town, I went to my uncle's house (which is next door to my granddad's house) and he had me follow him to the nursing home. Anyway, we got down the road from his house and there was a man standing beside his truck parked on the road. My dad asked me to stop so that he could speak to him. Well, they talked briefly about a couple of things and then the man confessed he is 80 years old. My mom, who had been silent up to this point, entered the conversation telling the man that he didn't look 80. ( He really didn't...the saying goes that black don't crack) So he goes into a mini sermon--"Oh, I give praise to God. He's the One who keeps me and sustains me. God is good! I give thanks to my Heavenly Father every morning that I wake up" and he goes on with all those cliche phrases one expects from someone who is saved, sanctified and filled with a mighty burning fire!! And my mom just egs him on.. 'Yes, God is good, give Him praise!' And they keep trading words back and forth & forth and back. Now, this goes on a while and I'm beginning to think to myself "I need to break this up so we can be on our way". Immabout to get out of my truck with a collection plate, take an offering & give a benediction! (There's nothing like axing for money to break thangs up! LOL!!) My uncle's up the road waiting for us all this time. After about a 5 minute round of 'God is good', 'Yes He is'--Backwood Country Roadside Baptist Pentacostal Sanctified African-American Methodist Episcopal Holyness Christian Center of the Cactus, Red Dirt, and Cattle could finally depart to serve.
So, at lunch, my uncle brought up the fact that the guy talked a long time and that was unusual for him. So I told my uncle about the roadside church service we had.
His response?
It was....Priceless. My uncle said....

"What?!! That man ain't been to church in 15 years!!!"

.......All I got to say is.......If God can use a donkey.....

Words for today

2009-07-14T15:25:00.004-05:00

We're called to be witnesses,
not lawyers or judges.

Some minds are like concrete,
thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

You can tell how big a person is
by what it takes to discourage him.

and

Opportunity knocks once,
but temptation bangs on the door forever.

.

Top Ten Female Singers (alpha order)

2009-07-02T15:46:00.002-05:00

Anita Baker
Chaka Khan
Jill Scott
LaTonya Blair
Lauren Hill
Ledisi
Roberta Flack
Tamela Mann
Vanessa Bell Armstrong
Yolanda Adams

June 2009-Artist of the Month

2009-07-02T14:32:00.004-05:00

Donnie McClurkin
McClurkin’s pure love for the Lord has grown through crippling adversity that ultimately fortified his faith ten-fold. Born November 9, 1959, in Amityville, New York, his childhood home was mired in domestic violence and drug abuse until an aunt who sang with the great Andrae’ Crouch introduced him to the musical icon who in turn introduced him to his future. Young Donnie played keyboards with his church youth choir before forming the McClurkin Singers with relatives and friends in 1979. Following a calling to preach, he never loosened his grasp on music. In 1989 Donnie started the NY Restoration Choir and recorded the album I See A World, which contained the classic “Speak to My Heart.”Two near-simultaneous events changed McClurkin’s life forever. Just as he was appointed as an associate minister at Marvin Winans’ Perfecting Church in Detroit, he also learned that he’d been stricken with leukemia. While battling the disease, Donnie was signed to Warner Alliance Records as a solo artist where he recorded his pivotal self-titled album, marked by a smooth sophistication in the production that couched his soaring tenor for a series of soul-stirring numbers.Pastor McClurkin is a favorite because of his sincere love for the Lord, the Word of God, and God's people.

Simply Beautiful's Writings

2009-06-24T15:53:00.005-05:00

If you'd like to further 'see inside of me' you can check out my other blogs. (Yes, I manage 2 other blogs. ) They are: Like A Mighty Streaam and Woman at the Well.
A short synopsis:
Like A Mighty Stream is a blog about society. I mainly focus on sociological issues, social justice, and civil rights. It's a work in progress for sure, and I'd appreciate any feedback.
http://www.likeamightystream.blogspot.com/
Woman at the Well is a blog about my spiritual walk. I know that each one of us that is called by God is called to fulfill a certain purpose. Woman at the Well is about drawing from the spiritual fountain, Jesus Christ, on a daily basis in order to refuel and refresh oneself before, during and after ministry. Come to the well and receive what God has for you. A fresh anointing, a renewing of the mind, a rejuvenation of the spirit, and a rejoicing of the body. You'll come away with a bold new attitude!
http://www.madewholebytheword.blogspot.com

Continue to check out See Inside of Me. This is my first baby--and the baby's growing fast!
Thanks for your readership.

Love. Peace. and NeckBone Grease. (What?!! You KNOW you like dem neckbones, sweet po-tay- toes, and college greens!!! LOL!)

simply beautiful
.

Happy Birthday, Carlton!!

2009-06-22T00:08:00.003-05:00

June 22, 1961- June 16,2007

A word of encouragement

2009-06-20T23:00:00.002-05:00

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...it's about learning how to dance in the rain."

Big Brother, it's been 2 years?

2009-06-16T01:23:00.005-05:00

Today is the 2nd anniversary of him being gone. I miss him. I told this story on his obit:

When I was about 3 or 4 years old, my brother and I took a trip to the zoo with the baby-sitters. He'd been before, but this was my first time. My big brother liked the monkeys and gorillas. We'd just come out of the 'monkey house' as a group. He decided to go back and see them again, but the group was moving on. He tried to convince me to go with him, but I knew that those people would never miss us if we separated from them, so I wouldn't go. Well, my big brother went back. And I cried nand cried. Finally someone asked me what was wrong. Through my tears I said, " I lost my brother."

Well, June 16, 2007, I lost my brother. It's only temporary, though. You see, we will see one another again. And I know that when it's my time, when God is calling my name...my big brother will meet me there. He'll hang over the gulf if he has to--he'll be standing there with the biggest grin on his face and telling me to hurry up and come on. He'll show me all around heaven. That's just like him. He always had to go places first--so that when I got there he could show me around.

Big Brother, I miss you. I love you. Rest in peace.

Love,
Your Babysistah. simply beautiful.
.

It's getting Hott in Here!!

2009-06-14T01:20:00.004-05:00

Things are really heating up! And not just the temperatures outside either! Yes, it's hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk in Texas---what else is new? And with the high temperatures come hot tempers, too. Yeah. The situation I spoke of ..err rather..wrote of before is getting out of hand. But I still hear the Master saying, 'It's not your fight'. So, I throw up some more timbre, I'll sit back and watch God work. I'll keep you posted. Things are coming to a head soon. I can just feel it.
Oh--and is it my imagination--or is someone trying to get at me? I think it's just my imagination...once again....running away with me. We shall see.

And in the words of the biggest afro wearing, deep voiced, Saturday afternoon t.v.d.j.

I wish you Love.

Peace.

and Sooooouuuullllll!!!!

simply beautiful
.
Update 2Jul2009

It's still hott. The situation has not come to a head yet.
And yes. Sumbody's still trying to get at simply beautiful. But just look at me...Can u blame him? LOL!!
luvpeace&Soul!!

Stay in Your Lane

2009-06-11T19:22:00.006-05:00

Gentle Readers,
I am in a situation I feel I can no longer bear. It's rough, and it keeps getting rougher. You see, somebody is doing somebody wrong. I see it every day. It gets under my skin. And to make it worse, the person who is being done wrong just doesn't seem to get it. I ask myself, 'How can you be that dumb?' I'm on the brink of just telling it all because the wrong-doer doesn't deserve to get away with this.
So I took it to God. And we had a good conversation about it. Do you know what He told me? He said, "This isn't your fight." 'But God, I see what's going on. How can I sit by idly and watch this person be done wrong?' "Hold your peace." But if I say something, if I do something this will straighten everything out". Finally, He says to me, "Stay in your lane".
Well Gentle Readers, that did it for me. You see, I've been in the middle of too many arguments confrontations, and too many silly fights. I've witnessed ashtrays, knives, guns and hedgers---you know, that garden tool used to trim bushes and such---being used as weapons. And it's not even my fight. I'm pulled in as the 'mediator no one listens to'. God said, "enough" a long time ago--but they're not listening. Somehow I just keep getting put in the middle. Although they aren't listening to God, this time, I am. Since this is not my fight--this is not my purpose--this is not the plan He has for me, I will keep my mouth shut and I will pray. I will let God do what God does best while I travel the mapquested journey that God has for me.
In closing Gentle Readers, the word of encouragement for the week is: Stay in your lane!

Take it Lite.
And as you travel the road God has paved for you,
don't forget to drop breadcrumbs!
Not so that you'll know how to get back--
Oh no! Never go back!!
Drop the breadcrumbs for the birds!
God's little creatures need to eat, too! LOL!!!

simply beautiful.
.

the Word of God

2009-06-11T19:18:00.004-05:00

To hear the Word of God is to
hear God Himself.
So read it, listen to it, reflect upon it, and
absorb it in your soul.

Ben Campbell Johnson
(from Discipleship Journal May/June 2009 issue)
.

Distance yourself

2009-06-04T15:18:00.007-05:00

Sometimes events in life just "speak" to me. A cousin of mine texted me early this morning and said, "I need your opinion on something". K rarely needs my opinion. She's as outspoken, straight-forward, and in-your-face as anyone I know. Sometimes I wish I could adopt a bold and 'don't-give-a-cluck what you think/feel/say/or do" attitude. But, I find that the older I get, the closer to that attitude I get. Funny how age does that to us.
Anyway--what brought all of this on is what K is going through right now. I can't discuss the details, because no matter what, I must protect the ignorant. Thought I was gonna say, the innocent, didn't you? No. The ignorant.
Basically, I was reading over an earlier post and came across the Scripture reference about laying aside every weight that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. That 'spoke' to me. Because I'm in transition in my life, there are some things that I have to lay aside. There are some people I need to distance myself from. There are some places that I can no longer go. This is in order to get me where God needs me to be. It's funny how I can take someone else's situation and see myself in it. You see, my 20-year-old baby cousin, I'll call her G, is in a predicament. Her 'so-called' man is lazy, manipulative and overbearing. To add spice to the situation, she's expecting her first baby. I haven't met the 'so-called' man, but I really don't have to meet him to know him. Hell, I grew up with him-- (he's like my daddy, puts himself first) and then I even dated someone like him. I wish someone would have given me this same advice I'm about to give G.
Girl, run! You've made a mistake in choosing a partner, but you are young and resilient, you can recover. Remember, we fall down, but we get up? Go back to what you know. Get back in church, I mean really get in. Get people around you that will love and care for you and your baby...people who will cover you...prayerfully, mentally, spiritually, financially, and physically. If anybody offers you a helping hand...take it. Ain't no shame in needing help. The shame is in refusing to accept help when it's offered. And when you get on your feet, pay it forward--help somebody else. Yes, to go back where you came is shameful, humiliating, and painful even. But, that little humiliation will be easier to handle than if you stay on the present course.

And this part of the message is for both G and me: distance yourself from those who seek to do you more harm than good. These very people want to leech off of you, drain you, wear you down and leave you in a corner in a fetal position with your thumb in your mouth. They get pleasure from bringing you down --so that they themselves can look down on you and talk about you. They'd rather look down on you than allow you to rise ( cuz they can't help you rise!!) so that you can pull them up too. It's a shame, but some folk are like that. And they ain't always strangers. They are people who are close to you, like: your mama, daddy, a sibling, a cousin, a lover, a friend, a Pastor, or teacher. You can't help but love them, they're important in your life. But sometimes you have to love them from a distance.
Remember, you have to be careful and prayerful about who you let in your life. And if by chance, the wrong person slips in--be quick about getting them out. Because honey, if they can't stand the call on your life from the Almighty, distance yourself from them-- don't wait for them to move. And after you distance yourself, as one of my Sunday School teacher's favorite quote goes: "Keep it Pushing!!" God's got something bigger and better just for you!

simply beautiful
.

May 2009 Artist of the Month

2009-05-31T16:48:00.001-05:00

Fred Hammond

For more than 25 years, music listeners around the world have known Fred Hammond as a talented songwriter, bassist and vocalist. He is also known throughout the music industry as a gifted musical arranger and producer. But, his work with Face to Face Productions Cor poration, the company for which he is both founder and CEO, has earned him the title the "Babyface" of gospel.Few gospel artists can boast of the consistency of sales, radio airplay and concert appearances that Hammond has achieved over the course of his career. As a solo artist, founder of the pioneering urban group, Commissioned, and his work with Radical for Christ combined, Fred has sold over 7 million albums and these endeavors have made him a mainstay on Billboard’s Gospel Chart top 10.

http://www.fhammondfamilyent.com/home.php

Here We Go Again....

2009-05-30T12:00:00.007-05:00

SSDD. {Same story different day}. I got an email from an aunt on yesterday. Here it is...

Good morning, I hope you are doing well. I wanted to tell you that (your aunt and cousin) are coming to town on Saturday. They are coming because I am speaking on Sunday morning 11am at our church. Aunt's birthday is Sunday, but because they are going to leave and go home pretty soon after church, we are going to take her to Pappadeaux on sat. evening 6pm. I would like for your dad to join us. We can celebrate his birthday at the same time. His meal would be taken care of. You are invited as well, but you would have to take care of yourself(smile). I know that you could get him. Also, I know you are often tied up with your church but it would be as honor to have you guys join us on Sunday morning as well. let me hear from you real soon so I can plan accordingly. Love you. And have a great day!

Sounds nice, right? Riiiiiiight. Well I got this email at 11:11am on Friday, May 29th. She's talking about getting together on Saturday and Sunday May 30th and 31rst. can we say it together?---"there's nothing like the last minute."
As you can tell, this is my dad's side of the family--remember my other post? This is family that feels because I'm not the 'daughter of a daughter', that I'm not as related and therefore does not share a closeness with me as with other nieces. It's very apparent to me that I'm invited as an afterthought. Why? Because the message was not sent to me until Friday morning. These plans have been in the works for at least a week--I found that out this morning from my first cousin...another 'not the daughter of a daughter'. She too, feels the ostracization. (WoW-- is that even a word, or did I just make it up?!! LOL) And another thing that disturbs me --she doesn't mention my mom--yes, mom and dad are still separated --but they are still married...they see each other 3, 4, 5 times a week... she's been wearing his name for for-ty-nine...yes, 49 years and is still family!! (So, I see lines are being drawn and sides are being taken) Am I to guess that mom is mentioned in her 'you guys' statement? and I quote "it would be a(n) honor to have you guys join us on Sunday morning". Yeeaah...riiiiiiiiight.
Anyway, I have plans for tonight that have been in the works for 6 weeks --so I won't make it. Yes, I'd like for my dad to be able to go--after all he should spend time with his sisters and his birthday is coming up in a few days--but as you can see she didn't even tell me where the restaurant's located--there are at least 3 Pappadeaux's in the area. (an indication she really don't want me to attend) I'm just enough silly to accept her excuse of an invite and show up just to show out! I'm just nigh stew-pid enough to get face-2-face becuz I know that her invite was not sincere. She's the one who approached me in January about becoming more close--and here we are almost 6 months into the year and this is the first time she's reached out. And she does so by emailing me this halfazz- lazy butt invite? What would have been appropriate to me, you ask? She could have emailed a week ago-- called me if it's the last minute. But no--I'm gonna take the 'yellow belly' -hope she won't come- cuz I really don't want her there route.
Now I'm angry because I feel like an afterthought, like I'm not quite family. I feel it was a hypocritical invite that she coulda kept. Hell, she shoulda kept it!! Do you think simply beautiful is too harsh? taking the invite the wrong way? insensitive? NAW!! simply beautiful is ANGRY that my aunt thinks she can pull this sort of stunt without me being able to see straight thru it.
Now that I've vented, I will leave you with these wonderful words of wisdom:

Family.

you gotta love 'em --

'cuz you can't kill 'em.

you get jail time for that.

simply beautiful
.

What cha going thru?

2009-05-25T05:26:00.004-05:00

I know you're going through something. I am. Everyone around me seems to be either going into it, in it, or coming out of it. Such is the circle of life. And the circle of life seems to just keep on cycling. But my pastor gave me good word on Sunday--and I plan to apply it to my life. When one asks you how you are doing--what should your response be as a Christian? We often hear something like, "Girl, I'm going thru" or "Honey, if I could just ______ , everything would be alright." ( you fill in the blank-- pay these bills, make more money, get a husband, get my life in order....) I'm here to tell you. That's depressing! What the Christian's response should be is "blessed and highly favored! as a matter of fact, if God blessed me anymore I wouldn't be able to stand it!"
My response is usually a lively "fine!" I refuse to let people think that this old world is weighing me down. I know, I know...I tell my 'see inside of me' readers a different story from time to time--but that's cuz we family. I can vent to you. But in the street--I'm gonna smile and tell you everything is 'fine'...even when it ain't really 'fine'...cuz I know that after a while, everything or at least the most important things WILL be alright!! And that's before I make it to the city. (LOL--gotta be a fan of John P Kee.)
So how does one maintain a positive outlook for the future? Trust God, pray, study your Bible, whatsoever things are lovely, of good report...think on these things. (Phil 4:7-9) and surround yourself with like-minded people.
So, whatchagoingthru? Should what you're going through affect your mood, your temperament, your willingness to participate in life? NO. Now don't get all defensive, I know that sometimes we all fall into that 'woe is me' attitude. I try not to go there--cuz once I go, I get there too early, I stay too long, and I'm the last to leave. Whatever the case may be for you--I can't say don't go there--but I can say be careful while you're there. the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy. Put on all your armour! Take back your joy!!

Live, Love, and Laugh--do it like it's your last chance!

simply beautiful.

Handbook for Life '09 -the 2nd installment

2009-05-24T15:29:00.013-05:00

1. Make time to pray.
2. Live with 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
3. Play more games.
4. Read more books than you did in 2008.
5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
6. Dream more while you are awake.
7. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
8. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
9. What other people think of you is none of your business.
10. Drink plenty of water.

Once again, good self-explanatory, common sense advice. My personal favorite is number nine. What other people think of you is none of your business. WOW. That's startling news to me. You see, I'm a people-pleaser. I'm ashamed to say it, but I've spent most of my life wondering and worrying about what people have said about me, what people think of me....do they like me/dislike me...you know..along the lines of 'what can I change/do/say/go/wear so that people will think more favorably of me?' And then, I run across this statement: What other people think of you is none of your business. Now this brings to mind a scripture. (I don't know yet how this ties in..but walk with me.)
I'm reminded of Scripture where Jesus and His disciples are on their way to Caesarea Philippi and they're talking. Jesus asks a question..."Who do men say that I am?" Now, I imagine the disciples are eager to tell Jesus all about who has said 'what/when/where and how' about him. They answer, "some say John the Baptist, some say Elias, and others say one of the prophets". See people are saying and thinking different things about Jesus. BUT, they really don't know who Jesus is. Some of them have only heard about what He's done. This reminds me of a saying in the church--don't rely on what your grandparents say--don't rely on what mama 'nem say--what your auntis, uncles, cousins, and Pookie 'nem say--try Jesus! Come to know Him for yourself! Hallelujah! OOOOOoooo Gloooory!! uh-hem..sorry I went in for a moment.
But for real--can you identify with this? Nobody knows your heart...nobody knows the real you. They only know what you've said, or what somebody said you said--or they only know what you've done in the past. You see, it's important to know a person first hand. So, Jesus asks another--I think more important question of them, "But who do you say that I am?" To this Peter answers, "Thou are the Christ". ref. Mark 8:27-29
Okay?!! Jesus knows who He is and Whose He is!! He's not asking the disciples this question in order to find out what people are saying about Him. Really, he already knows that! He's not asking the question in order that his disciples know what people are saying or thinking about Him--really it's none of their business. But He wants them to consider that they have (and here's the first point) spent time with Jesus. And having spent time with Jesus, they should (now the second point) be firm in knowing Who He is. Yes, people were talking then and are still talking and debating now about Jesus--is He the Son of God? or a Prophet? a Teacher? or simply a Good Man? I say He is all of the above.

Now we come to where the rubber meets the road...What people think of you is none of your business. What matters is what God thinks of you. People only know the surface of who you are--but God knows you thru and thru. He even has the hairs on your head numbered. God cares. If you don't know Jesus in the pardoning of your sins--today is a good day.
Allow me to pray with you as you accept Jesus and become saved. It's very simple and only takes a moment.
Dear Lord, I admit that I am a sinner. I have lived my life for myself, doing things that are not pleasing to you. I am sorry and I repent. I ask you to forgive me. I believe that you died on the cross to save me. You did what I could not do. I come to you now and ask you to take control of my life. Help me to live every day in a way that pleases you. I love you, Lord, and I thank you that I will spend all eternity with you. Amen.
It's done. You might ask "Now what happens"? What happens is you live the rest of your life as a Christian. Find a good church where you feel comfortable and the Bible is preached and taught. Don't worry about denomination--try different ones if you feel the need to or try non-denominational churches. The most important thing is that you become an active member of the body of Christ.

God Bless You.

simply beautiful

On a side note: while writing this post, I came up with an Ad:

"God's plan. It ALWAYS works!!"
.

Prayer for Today

2009-05-20T11:24:00.003-05:00

Our Father who art in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done,
in earth as it is in heaven,
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who
trespass against us
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil
For Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory
now and for ever
Amen.

Handbook for Life 2009

2009-05-18T11:13:00.007-05:00

'Handbook 2009' lists about 40 tips for living a more productive life. Leave it to me to change the title and add my own spin to it. Because I've found these suggestions to be helpful, I picked out about 10 of them for your reading pleasure. And in simply beautiful's signature style, she must improve upon a good thing and add scripture references. For "The Scriptures say: `No one can live only on food( Man does not live by bread alone). People need every word that God has spoken." (Matthew 4:4 contemporary english version) Maybe next week, if you're good, I'll share ten or twelve more. Today focus on
Life:
1. Do the right thing! (Believe me, it will follow you.)
2. Get rid of anything (or anyone) that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
3. GOD heals everything.
4. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
5. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
6. The best is yet to come.
7. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
8. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate.
(But when you are hated, and you will be, love on your haters.)
9. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is
all about.
10. Don't have negative thoughts on things you cannot control.
Instead invest your energy on the positive.

Now, you want the scriptures, don't you? Good.
1. Proverbs 22:1 A good reputation and respect are worth much more than silver and gold. 2. Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 3. Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. 4. Ecclesiates 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven 5. Matthew 6:17 But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face. 6. Haggai 2:9 The glory of this latter house shall be greater than of the former, saith the LORD of hosts: and in this place will I give peace, saith the LORD of hosts. 7. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 In every thing give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus in regard to you. 8. Leviticus 19:18 Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD. 9. 1 Corinthians 13:4 …It (love) does not envy. 10. Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is fair, whatever is pure, whatever is acceptable, whatever is commendable, if there is anything of excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy-keep thinking about these things.

Be blessed.

simply beautiful.

How Does it Feel?

2009-05-15T15:01:00.006-05:00

pictured here are Carlton and simply beautiful (about 2002)

I dedicate tonight's Graduation to my big brother, my mentor, my friend, my number one encourager-- Carlton. I love you!! R.I.P.

How does it feel to finally get something that you've been working towards for quite a while? That's the question I'm asking myself. How does I feel? I've been working towards a Bachelor's degree for a while now. And in approximately 3 1/2 hours from now I will officially receive a Bachelors Degree in Arts and Sciences in Sociology from Texas Wesleyan University, Fort Worth, TX.
I know, I know--people graduate all the time. Someone graduates felt they never would have made it. I'm sure there are more heartfelt stories than mine. But I still had to take the time to reminisce over the last two years especially. I'll go back to June 2007. During the spring, I'd applied as a transfer student but wasn't sure if I'd be admitted. I did fair at my previous school, but my first college experience was a failure. But, I'd heard from God that this would work out so I had to keep the faith. I got the call one Wednesday afternoon in early June that I'd been admitted. I shared the news with my brother who was ill at the time. He was so happy for me because he knew of my dream to return to school and finish my degree. The next Sunday, he went into the hospital. Early Saturday morning, he was dead. My whole world went into a tailspin. Never did it occur to me, not once did I consider not continuing my education because of my loss. The thought didn't cross my mind, because Carlton would have wanted me to go on.
So tonight's victory is not just for me--but for my big brother. Tonight I walk across that stage to show death that it has not won. Death comes to steal, kill and destroy. Death tried to steal my joy, kill my purpose, and destroy my dream. But God said "NO!!" And so in this situation, death still has no victory, it has no sting. (paraphrase John 10:10 and 1 Cor 15:55)
Tonight I proudly walk across that stage and accept my degree and remember that I made many, many sacrifices, none of which I regret. I passed up on going out with friends and family and as a result lost some friends--they didn't understand that I was in pursuit. I placed my love life on hold--I've delayed travels and vacations-- I sacrificed mid-week and Sunday evening church services and activities. I've even sacrificed eating and sleeping. But all of the hardship, working a full time job, being a full time mother and student, starting my day at 5am, late nights writing papers, reading homework assignments and finally ending my day at 1 or 2am, just to begin again at 5am.--times when I did not know where the bill/tuition/book/grocery money was coming from, not knowing if I had the physical or mental strength or the knowledge to even start or complete a project or a paper...all of the sacrifice has been worth it for this one night. Tonight when I will proudly walk across the stage, I will know it's because I persevered, I belong, and I deserve it.

simply beautiful

Hate on me Haters!!!

2009-05-13T00:34:00.014-05:00

Hi Gentle Readers:
Ever felt like the whole world was against you? Umph--I have. As a matter of fact, I feel like that this very minute! I have so many people hatin' on me right now...it's unreal. The strange thing is, I don't know why they hatin'... I ain't did nobody none--really, I haven't (in my best whinnin' voice)
First of all, in this situation, I know that I have to encourage myself. This I know: Greater is He that is within me than he that is in the world(1John 4:4) AND as my pastor says, 'let 'em hate. That means God will bless and move on my behalf all the more and give my haters even more reason to hate!!' (I like that!!)
The thing about my haters is that they are persons who shouldn't be hatin'. (Aren't they always, though?) They are persons closest to me-- so they should be loving, caring, and supportive...you'd think?...but nooo...oooh dare I say it?....my haters are church and family members. Yep..they are. I've noticed in the last few weeks, that certain people are talking about me, not behind my back, mind you--like they are supposed to, but to my face. And giving me strange looks or just plain ol' igging me in conversations. What I usually do is just brushed it off as my imagination. But it keeps coming back time and time again, so I know there has to be something to it.
Can we just talk--you and me? Do you mind if I get real with you a moment and share this experience? See, I was at church---getting my praise and worship in, cuz you know, God is good!, and I hear my name whispered. OK--who's whispering my name while I'm in the middle of worship?!! So I think to myself, 'this must be pretty important, right? Maybe I should come out of worship to see if my skirt is caught up in my pantyhose or something....that can be too embarassing, you know...so I come out of worship for a moment--only to find this young lady is pointing at me and whispering something about me to her neighbor. So I say to myself, "Oops...that's not my conversation"--and I go back to worship. Now this is my thought--let me know if my thinking is wrong here: The praise and worship leader has taken us in. God's in the building. Blessing. Healing. Making miracles happen. And this person has NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN TO TALK ABOUT ME?!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!
The most important thing when the spirit is high is that we focus on God--give God His due. Give Him the honor, praise and worship He deserves. But no--this person decides not to give their attention to the Almighty God, but to meer (wo)man instead. WHAT?!! He is the God who woke us up this morning! Clothed in our right minds! Put food on the table! Gives life, breath, health and strength! I got news for you Ms. Whisperer Hater---I AIN'T DONE NONE OF THAT!!! and couldn't even if I wanted to!!!

Second hater issue...I'm on one of those social networks--you know the kind--where you have to be a member and all we do is talk (type) back and forth--forth and back. Well, I've got a cousin on therethat grew up with me. But after the debacle of 2001,we don't talk much--but anyway, it seems that from the time I announced I'm graduating from college--this cousin ignores me on the social network. Seems like when she realizes I'm on..she gets off. My son tells me, 'oh she just signed off and missed your comment.' No she didn't. She's dissin' me. But that's ok. Go 'head. Dis me. Cuz the more you dis me, the more I'll bless you. The more I bless you, the more I'm blessed. I'm not braggin or boastin on me. I'm braggin and boastin on the God in me. And if you choose to hate on me...hate on. Cuz it's not me you're hatin'.

As I sit and think about it, I'm reminded that I am not unique. They also hated on Jesus. Hated on Him so much that they sent soldiers to pick up an innocent Man in the middle of the night. They tried Him all night long, taking Him from courtroom to courtroom--all on trumped up charges. Hated Him so much that the crowd said let the guilty go free while an innocent Man was pronounced guilty. Hated Him so much that they beat him and spat on him and then they made Him carry a cross up Golgotha hill. Hated him so they put Him up on that cross between two thieves, put a crown of thorns on His head and mocked Him. And to think, He endured the haters, He gave His life, so that you and I can have eternal life. There's no need to ask 'what would Jesus do?' What He did is recorded in Luke for all to read. But in case you missed it, this is what He did--He blessed His haters. Remember? "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do"? Luke 23:34

So a short letter to my Haters: I love you. I decree that God bless and keep you! May God bless you financially--bless your family--bless your children, and your children's children-- bless you on your job--keep you healthy--provide food on your table, clothes on your back and shoes on your feet--May He give you the desires of your heart--bless your going out, bless your coming in--bless you in the city and in the field!! May He enlarge your territory. May the Lord God bless you in every way, every day in ways that are abundantly and exceedingly more than you can dream or imagine!! AMEN!!

I've got one last thing to say and I'll let you go...In the words of my favorite poetress the Honorable Jill Scott:

You can try as you may, Break me down but I say
That it ain’t up to you, Gone and do what you do
Hate on me, hater, Now or later
‘Cuz I’m gonna do me, You’ll be mad, baby
Go ‘head and hate on me, hater
I’m not afraid of -- What I got I paid for!!
You can hate on me!!!

Thanks, Jill! I could not have said it better!
and Thanks God, there is no better example of a more excellent way!!
.
simply beautiful
.

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

2009-04-30T18:00:00.004-05:00

Can you believe it's the end of April already? Man, how time flies! Well, this month's theme, if you haven't noticed, has been Marvin Gaye songs for titles. So going with that theme, I thought I'd close the month with a word of encouragement.

It seems that a few of my friends are going through some things. I am going through some things as well. For me, it's a mixture of good and bad. I've got some incredible highs...and some (possibly) devastating lows. But I am reminded by the word of God--in the book of Romans, the eighth chapter, and the 28th verse which says that 'All things work for good to those who love God and are called according to his purpose.'
Now this doesn't mean that all things are good. But the word reminds me that although what I'm experiencing right now is not pleasant, it WILL WORK FOR GOOD. That is, this experience will strengthen me, give me wisdom and knowledge, and it will cause me to be firmly rooted. (Now there are some conditions--that I love God, which I do-- and that I'm called according to His purpose--which I believe that I am.)
I realize that what I'm going through is designed to take me down, but I won't let it. I won't let it, because I don't have to. You see, it's a choice. Now, the Eighth chapter of Romans, in its entirety, is my proof. Read it for yourself and be blessed.
So, be encouraged, Boo! There ain't no mountain high enough. You can climb it. Don't think about going around it, don't try to go through it--go over it. Just ask, He is ready to give you the strength. (see Philippians 4:13)
Believe & Receive it.

simply beautiful
.

How Sweet It Is?

2009-04-21T11:38:00.005-05:00

How sweet it is to be loved by you...that's one of my favs by Marvin Gaye. The lyrics typify blacklove. Yes, blacklove--all one word. Peep this.

I needed the shelter of someone's arms and there you were
I needed someone to understand my ups and downs
and there you were
With sweet love and devotion
deeply touching my emotion
I want to stop and thank you baby

Ah--yeah. That's what everyone's looking for. Sweet love and devotion.
But there is a dark side. I recently watch a documovie entitled "The Diary of a Tired Black Man"...a play on the title of the Tyler Perry movie...now 'documovie' is what I call it, not what the creator calls it.Check him out--Tim Alexander--he's on facebook, has a website, blog, and has a forum where you can contact him and continue to talk about the issue. www.tiredblackman.com

The issue is this: BLACK WOMEN ARE ANGRY.
Black women take this anger out on our husbands/boyfriends/partners/fiances...and why? Does it stem from our parent's relationship? Does it come from not having a father in the home while we were coming up? Why are Black Women so angry? We claim we want a good man--but when we find a good brother, why do we drive him away? and then keep Mr. NoGoodLazyTrifflingAzz NoJobNoAmbitionNoBathTakingMOFO? mmmm.

Mr. Alexander has a term for this condition--Angry Black Woman's Syndrome. Interesting. I have to admit, I've seen it time and time again. I always looked at it as a control issue. The woman does not want the man to wear the pants, she wants to wear them. She wants to control where he goes, what he does, who he's friends with, how the money's spent...etc. And Lawd--don't let him be remotely friendly or gentlemanly towards another female!! It's on and popping then! LOL.

I had to do some self examination here. As you all know simply beautiful is simply single, but she's wanting to get into a relationship--someday...But first I want to look at my upbringing, and my parent's relationship, and how that's affected me--before I go trapsing into a new relationship. I don't want to make someone miserable or be miserable myself when I don't have to be. I don't want to carry any luggage/baggage/crates/purses/makeup bags/change purses...nada...nothing negative into a new relationship. Only the love of God. So--looking at my upbringing...the way my mom and dad treated each other and still treat each other--I've found that I recognized some things in this documovie. Yeah--Tonya can easily be my mom. Always pissed--yelling and screaming about nothing--with an attitude from the pits of hell. My mom drilled into me as I was coming up--'don't depend on a man for nothing. Get your education, get you a job...buy your own house, your own car....' Good advice, I thought. As I got older, though, I realized that she never encouraged me to wait on God for my King. To trust God to send the right man to find me. To pray that I choose a man that will love, cherish, protect and support me. NOoooo-I never heard that. But I heard plenty of 'you ain't shit! You just like your daddy! and other insults and explicits...many, many others directed at my dad. So much so, that I had to wonder...if her husband is so bad...why she marry him? why she have kids with him? and why is she staying married to him? Yes, my mom is an ABW. She harbors bitterness, unforgiveness, and hate from many years of mistreatment from her husband. I'm not saying this is right or wrong..it just is. But, also look at this--this street is a two-way...she mistreats him, as well. And one of the hardest things to watch in this whole docudrama called Real Life--is that they are paying for mistreating one another...right here...right now...and don't even realize it.
Now, my dad's role in this is not the role James portrayed in the documovie. Although my dad's anger and blow ups with my mom were powerfully mean and full of hatred, he doesn't harbor or dwell on it. He let it go--and is "gone on 'bout his bizness" while moms is on slow stew. I can at least give him that. But, while he's in it...omg...it goes on and on...and on.
One thing that I've noticed in their 'relationship' is that in my mom's eyes, my dad couldn't do anything right. According to her, she has to take care of the bills, she has to take care of the house, the car, the kids, the dog...she feels that he doesn't deserve anything nice in life. She controls everything, she withholds things--money, a comfortable lifestyle, transportation, peace-- and hides food, hides mail, keeps important business informatiom from him. All that NONSENSE. And for what? She ain't seeing no gain from it at all. My sentiment is this: If you're going to go to those lengths to keep things from him--why stay married? AND the biggest problem I have with it is that...vengeance is the Lord's...not ours. And on his part, why would he put up with such mistreatment?! I see serious self-esteem issues on both of their parts!
Well, I had to make a decision. Will I follow in the footsteps of my parents when it comes to relationships? or will I seek a much more excellent way? I choose a more excellent way. You see, I almost fell into the same trap. When I dated my son's father, we got along very well for 4 of the 5 years. There were a few things that I didn't like early on, but I let them slide. Now looking back on it...I see that what he was doing really was a form of abuse. No, he never hit me...he never raised his voice nor cursed me out--(until our last year together). Yeah, at the time I thought he treated me well--and he did for the most part. But what I didn't see then as abuse--I clearly see it now. He had a tendency to lie, just make up things for the hell of it. He would ask his friends advice on how to treat me, or talk to me--instead of asking me how I thought or how I felt. He tried on the sly to manipulate what I did or didn't do. And he would tell me he would pick me up on this date at this time and never show up--and not only that, but not call for days afterward---hoping that I'd forgotten, or wouldn't be so mad. And my mom, knowing all of this, encouraged me to stay with him. She told me I was being too hard on him when he'd lied about picking me up for about the 3rd time. I was about to break up with him over it, but she talked me out of it. I look back at that and say 'why?' 'why would she encourage me to stay in a relationship that was starting out bad and only had the potential to get worse?' Because... Misery loves company.

I got out of that relationship, much later than I should have, but I got out and haven't looked back! Now I'm looking for better--no-- the best God has to offer! simply beautiful is asking God for a man who 1) Love's God. He's sold out and puts God first in his life. He trusts God, he prays not only for himself but for his Queen. 2) works. 3)has goals, dreams, and ambitions. And knows how to go about getting things done. 4) is smart. He's articulate..he reads..he writes. 5)loves women and has the utmost respect for his mother, grandmother, sisters, aunts and other women. 6) has love and respect for himself--how can he love me if he doesn't love himself? 7) he knows Whose I am (as well as Whose he is) and recognizes my value and worth. 8)loves kids (and animals, too--though this is not critical)
This time, my mom's advice will not matter--neither will my friends. Oh--I'll hear them out, because I want to be sure that I'm not walking into a bad situation and being blinded by love. But if he's treating me wrong--I don't like what he's doing--he makes me uncomfortable or uneasy about me just being me--then I walk. I won't listen to anyone telling me I'm being too hard, or that I need to give him another chance--If he ain't right, I'm taking it to God. And if God says, "Daughter, this man is for you", then I will stay. But that's what it's gonna take--God Himself will have to speak! LOL.

Diary of a Tired Black Man. Check the website -- www.tiredblackman.com
It's something to think and talk about--then follow up with action. Change what you need to change--about yourself first, then reach out. Crawl, walk, roll, run towards help. And remember--all of (y)our help comes from God.

Until next time.
Love, Peace, and Bacon Grease.

simply beautiful
.

Ain't that Peculiar?

2009-04-15T21:10:00.004-05:00

a favorite quote:

"Change is painful, but pain is changeful!!"

thanks to my young fb friend, Colton for that word.

Be blessed.

simply beautiful
.

Pride and Joy!

2009-04-15T14:40:00.003-05:00

Matt

Today is my baby's birthday. My 'pride and joy', my baby boy, my son, my friend, my little man. Today, he's reached a milestone. He's twenty years-old.
My son was born April 15th at 810pm weighing in at 8 pounds and 8 ounces, 20 1/2 inches long. Today, he's about 5'11, weighs around 185 pounds. And he is as handsome as ever. My how things have changed, and yet stay the same!
Happy Birthday, 'Baby Boy'!!! and many many many more!!!
Mom luvs u!!

Mercy, Mercy Me

2009-04-13T10:34:00.006-05:00

Hi there! It's been a while since I've posted anything on the romantic tip, but today I have a little something for you. simply beautiful is simply enjoying some attention from the opposite sex. On last evening, a young man decided to flirt with me--openly. WoW. From previous posts, you might know that he's been flirting for a while, just not so openly. Anyway, as you know, I am single, and the mother of a bright, handsome, 2nd year college freshman. He is my only child--my Pride and Joy. ( I'll introduce him later) But for now, on to my experience. I went to an Easter celebration on last evening and had a very nice time, I might add. Usually my son and I sit together, but because he was with his group of friends, I sat a few rows behind him. You see, he doesn't want me to be too 'clingy'. So this young man took advantage of the open seat beside me and sat down before the event started. Then he turned on his 'charm' and flirted with me--my son didn't like it one bit, but he was gentleman enough not to let it show. Anyway, the young man moved before the event started. (he moved, but not far) So, since the seat was now open again, my son decided he needed to sit beside me. No, not just beside me--almost on top of me, throwing his arm around me and even saying that I was 'taken'. Now you know--as flattered as I was by all of this attention to little ole me, at the same time I was annoyed. First of all "Baby Boy", mom can take care of herself. I appreciate the fact that you don't want just anybody coming up to your mom, coming on to your mom, or treating mom just any old kind of way! Much obliged to you, son. Good looking out! But mom deserves to have some fun. I like to flirt--especially with one as good-looking as this guy. Yeah...he's got some quirks, but quirks are cute. Second of all, "Baby Boy", it's nice to know you're here if I need you--but I DON'T NEED U RIGHT NOW!! Disappear for a minute or two--let mom get her 'grown folk' on. ( Keep it clean, now...remember I have a vow of celibacy--I ain't getting the "grown married folk" on--just the 'grown folk'!! LOL!!) And third "Baby Boy", Mom loves you and always will. No matter who comes into my life, no matter what happens, my love for you does not change. The only change in fact, is that my love for you grows from day-to-day. Ain't nothing or nobody gonna be able to change that. TRUST!
In closing "Baby Boy", know this-- there's plenty of room for me to love you fully and fully love someone else too.

simply beautiful
.

Making Change Real

2009-04-07T23:16:00.004-05:00

Let's get it on...let's make change a reality.
People, we are dying. Black people--men, women, and children-- from something that can be prevented. Learn to say no--and if you can't say no, use a condom. Educate yourself. Protect yourself. And LIVE.

THE STATE OF AIDS IN BLACK AMERICA 2009

http://www.blackaids.org

support the cause.

simply beautiful
.

Follow Your Dreams

2009-04-06T23:42:00.005-05:00

Hey there!! I have an update to this blog entry posted on Feb. 28th.
This is the blog entry on how God has worked things out in my life. I'd answered the question "Has death ever threatened your dreams?" My answer is " Yes!, ButGod!" And here is part B of my testimony.
Now, everything is closer to official! I'm passing the 12hours I'm taking now and I've received a letter from the school which states: "We have reviewed your petition to 'walk' in this special event and we are pleased to inform you that you clearly meet the catalog requirements for such participation." Is it just me? or do you see a party in participation? Okay, so I still have 6 hours to complete. It'll take me all summer--but it's worth the time and the effort.

The Event: Texas Wesleyan University GraduationProgram
The big day: Friday, May 15th
the time: 7:00 p.m.
the place: Tarrant County Convention Center
downtown Fort Worth, TX

Praise God from Whom all Blessings Flow!!

simply beautiful
.

What's Going On

2009-04-06T22:55:00.003-05:00

Today, a friend of mine asked me about a matter of the heart. WoW. I must be growing up. :) So I got to thinking ( that's very dangerous, you know ) that she is not the only one going through this kind of thing...why not blog about it? Sorry, T you know once you talk to me it's on and popping. Her question was about an old flame that never quite died out...still flickering. Should she/or shouldn't she give it one more try? Well, I see it this way. He's an "X". Of the men I've put an "X" on, I put it there for a reason. You know, like, we weren't on the same intellectual level- all he wanted was sex- all he wanted to do was hang with his friends and say he had a girl- he didn't have a sense of humor (imagine that, a black man without a sense of humor...he was really dry...don't worry, Michael don't read my blog so he won't be affected by me revealing he's a stiff and a bore)-we just grew apart, well honestly I grew up and he grew stew-pid. These are just some of the reasons. But maybe, just maybe you have someone in your past that you're wondering...what if we try again? It's been a few years, you've both grown up and are now different people with goals and needs that may be different than they were then. So this is what I told my friend. First and foremost, pray about it. Meet the Man, before you meet the man. Ask God if this man is for you. Be specific when you pray--there's nothing to large, nothing too small to ask God about. This is your life and you don't want to miss an opportunity, neither do you want to make the wrong choice. Second, when you talk to this man--ask him what drives him back to you? Listen closely to his answer. If you're in person when you ask him, watch his body language. Does it match the words that are coming out of his mouth? And third..if he is really, truly wanting to get with you, is he praying for you? will he pray with you? If either answer is "no", tell him that simply beautiful said, "kick rocks, bro. My sistah deserves the best that God has to offer, and you ain't it!!"
In closing, treat yourself with dignity and respect. And any man that comes into your space will know that he must do the same.
Peace. Love. and bubblegum.
simply beautiful.
.

Can I Get a Witness?

2009-04-02T10:48:00.002-05:00

Remembering Marvin:

What's Going On?

Artist of the Month March 09

2009-03-31T14:50:00.004-05:00

Tamela Mann
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaG-2z1M-dc
Step Aside...a must see and a must hear! Trust Him and just step aside!!!

Closing the Month in Prayer

2009-03-31T12:45:00.004-05:00

It's hard to believe it is the end of March 2009. We're moving right along into April. I believe there is no better way to close March and welcome April than with prayer. I thought about looking on the internet for a prayer by someone famous--but then I realized-- that's not important to God. He not only wants to hear what's on the hearts of Obama, Denzel, Angela or Michelle--( ooh that rhymes...LOL), but He wants to hear from me and from you, too.
So if you would? bow your heads and close your eyes...oh I guess that won't work, then you can't read my prayer. Well, humble yourselves and pray with me:

Most Gracious Heavenly Father,
Creator of all, there is none like You.
Forgive us for our sins.
Thank You for allowing a new day, a new month, a new season.
Awaken in us, dear Lord, the desire to be more like You.
We want to walk in Your way, Your truth, and Your light.
Stir up the gifts in us that we may use them to Your glory.
We give You honor and all the praise--
In Jesus Name.
Amen.

Stepping Out on Faith

2009-03-19T00:53:00.010-05:00

Hi Ladies and Gents,
simply beautiful is stepping out on faith. There's a situation that's been going on in my life for a few months...I've put it off as much as I could becuz I was worried about what people would think and how they would react if I did a certain thing. I was worried about whether or not I would be accepted...if I'm good enough, pretty enough, smart enough. And I put all those negative thoughts, all that anxiety, and all that trivial stuff under my feet...and I'm walking on it! I've stepped out on that Hebrews eleven and one faith!

Look for an update soon. luv u!

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

simply beautiful
.
Half an update 3/19/09: Hebrews eleven and eleven {part c} reads: because she judge him faithful who had promised.

Word of encouragement: If God promised it, he is faithful AND he is able to do what he said.

sb

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Testimony

2009-03-16T16:36:00.005-05:00

I promised you a testimony. I worked with a young lady, a few years younger than myself. And she was going through. You know, being a single mom--deadbeat dad, bills, family issues and the like. Well, she was seeing about 3 or 4 guys...these were the ones she told me about. So when I say, 'seeing' --I mean she was sleeping with these guys. Some to release sexual tension, some so that he could help with a bill or two. She'd tell me about these encounters--basic stuff, no lewd details. She figured, "she'll never meet these guys". And she's right...I'll never meet them. But I was concerned--'what is this doing to her soul? what message is she sending to her child'? I never told her not to have relationships with these men...I just listened. I didn't judge her. I was her friend. When she needed a little help financially--I offered. She declined. But she let Tyrone buy her and child pizza and fill her car with gas. Mind you, Tyrone had threatened her about 3 weeks before via text message. She had to file a report with the cops. But here was Tyrone, giving her groceries and gas...and getting the goods. Why she let Tyrone help her, but she declined my help? I wouldn't even ask for the money back. I was hurt, but I didn't let her know it. I just listened and remained her friend. This was 2008. Roll into 2009, she calls me up--she's decided that '09 will be different. She's cut loose her 'friends with benefits' and she's straightening up her finances so she won't be dependent on 'friends'. So, my testimony--I never told her that I was celibate. She knows I'm a Christian and as such, there are certain things I don't do. I never talked down to her about what she was doing. I allowed her to talk and I listened. I never suggested she stop sleeping with these guys...but I prayed about it. And she came to a decision to become celibate herself, look for a good man to really love her and her child. She hasn't met him yet...but she's hopeful. I wonder if I made a difference? I'd like to think God used me in this situation to show her that He loves her and He cares. It's not about me. It's about Jesus.

P.S. as you know I usually don't name names. But Tyrone ( I wish I knew his last name) deserves to be blasted for coming to my girl's house at 2a.m. when her child was in bed asleep--scaring them by threatening her because she didn't return a phone call. And continuing this erratic behavior for 2 days--even at her 2nd place of employ. Tyrone, honey-- you'd better be glad simply beautiful don't know you--cuz she'd give you the business--- all the day long!!!

See Inside of Me- Celibacy Vow

2009-03-16T11:51:00.009-05:00

Okay, so I'm attracted to this guy -- and at one point, I had the thought “hey, if he asks, why not have sex?” NO! Why not? Well, because I am celibate. Since this question came up, I had to look at why I became celibate. I think that it's odd that I became celibate before I became a Christian. ...isn’t that odd? I mean, most people would become a Christian and stop having sex (because of conviction.) But I wasn't even saved when I became celibate. I came to know Jesus as Saviour about 2 years after I chose to become celibate. I stopped having sex at the time because I wanted to be in a committed relationship. Not marriage, just a monogamous boyfriend/girlfriend thing would do. I also became celibate to avoid pregnancy, STI's, HIV/AIDS and the emotional baggage that comes with having sex before there's a commitment. But, notice I didn't say "marriage"? I just don’t like casual sex. It’s too casual. See just before I made this decision, I was giving--but what I wasn't getting what I really wanted. Oh, it's a pleasurable feeling for a bit, but once that goes away, then what? So. I stopped having sex. I made up my mind to not have sex, but if I'd met the 'right person' I would have had sex outside of marriage if I felt the commitment was 'strong' enough. WoW. I wonder what would have used as a measuring stick to determine the "strength of a commitment?" So, see that's where God comes in. He has a way of working things out that we don't understand at the time . I hadn't met anyone that I truly would want to have a sexual relationship with outside of marriage...until recently. Oh yeah, I'm being REAL. But that's good. I have met someone that I would like to have a sexual relationship with one day--and I'm searching myself. Will I compromise...or will I wait for marriage? Now that I am a Christian woman, ( and he is a Christian man...I couldn't deal with anyone else) I have to visit my vow of celibacy. My initial reasons for becoming celibate remain, but I've had to add some biblical principles as well! I'm looking for a man who is ready for a committed relationship, here today, tomorrow and the tomorrows after that 'til death do us part--In a word, marriage. He's got to know that I am not going to compromise myself or him in any way. I'm looking for a saved, employed, disease-free, goal-oriented, tall, slim-built man who prays and has faith in God --who is looking for a saved, disease-free, commitment ready, goal-oriented, short, 'fluffy' woman who prays, and trusts God.
To prepare myself, I've committed to being a Woman of God. I've committed to being obedient. And if God blesses me with a husband, I'll commit to being a wife. But right now, I am taking a most unpopular stand, even among some Christians. I am fully committed to maintaining my vow of celibacy.

Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy." 1 Peter 1:13-16

Be blessed. Be holy.
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simply beautiful
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Living Single as a Christian

2009-03-16T10:57:00.010-05:00

Hi Folks! Back again. I told you I would be studying. I found this wonderful website---www.jesusisthelight.net--- please check it out when you get a chance. I found some wonderful information there--not info I didn't know...I just had to be reminded. And re visiting that information has lifted a burden from my shoulders. So, I'll share with you what I've learned! Well--ok..my little disclaimer first. Be easy on your girl. I'm allowing you to see inside of me. And this ain't easy.
I admit. I'm struggling as a single. I've been single a long time and I don't want to stay single all my life--BUT, if I'm going to be single, then I want to be right. If God is preparing me for a mate, then I want him to be satisfied knowing that he has found a 'good thing'. As you know from my previous entries, there is someone that I'm interested in. He seems to be a nice guy, but I'm reluctant to start a relationship with him. What's the hold up? Me.

Why? Well, I ask myself "if I'm attracted to this man, what reason would I have to say no to sex?" I read somewhere--oh yeah...in my "Marriage and Family" class, the text we're reading is Marriage, a History...by Stephanie Coontz. Good reading. Well, the book tells the history of marriage from its beginnings, the church's role and societies thoughts on relationships, sex, etc. --anyway-- after the Enlightenment, men looked to women to be their 'moral compass' --you know, keep them in line as far as sexual urges. Which ties into what my Pastor said a couple or 3 weeks ago --that men need women to say "no". A man wants to know how far can he go. And he will definitely take a woman as far as she let him. Well, I've been down that 'yellow brick road' before. Uhhhh let's just say the trip wasn't all that bad...but the consequences for going...that's a whole 'nother thing! But even at that, why would I, or should I say 'no' to sex? That's a good question. I found good answers as well. Remember, I'm talking to me.

Number 1) I say I am a follower of Christ, yet if I am out in the world fornicating and carrying on like all of the lost people of the world, then I am not what I say I am. And I ain't fooling nobody but myself! If I've truly accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior, then I should not still be ruled by my flesh! (AND, this goes back to the salt { see: "Get this in your Spirit on the sidebar to the right --> --> } cuz if I'm doing what you doing, then I've lost my flavor to influence you in the right way-- and oooh I have a testimony on this!! next blog, I promise...) Scripture tells us in 1 Corinthians 6:13b, 18, "Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. Flee fornication. Every sin that a man does is without (outside) the body; but he that commits fornication sins against his own body."
Number 2) If I have sexual relations with someone I'm not married to, a little bit of my soul dies in a way. I've given away something that is valuable and precious. I've given this person my wealth and my honor. And that's TOO MUCH. 1 Corinthians 6:20 reads: For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

Number 3) I am to keep my body. If I disrespect my body, so will others. If I don't respect my mind, body, soul, my very life as valuable, who else will? 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, "For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel (body) in sanctification and honor, not in lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which do not know God."
what's concupiscence? according to Merriam-Webster it means: a strong desire ; especially sexual desire.
The New Living Translation says: It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen (lust of concupisence), who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. { I had to add verse 6 of NLT...it's just too important to pass up.}

Now in my previous entry "Living Single", I talked a little about self-pleasuring. I'm getting out of the first person here...I'm talking to us now... This is 'self-abuse'. It's abuse because we are improperly handling something (our bodies and minds) that God entrusted to our care. We are taking our bodies and minds, the gifts that God gave us, and using them in a perverse manner. When self-pleasuring, you are defiling your mind with obscene thoughts and then defiling your body by using it to act out those thoughts. To "defile" something means "to make unclean, to make impure." Although the Bible does not speak on self-pleasuring, we do read this in Matthew 15:19-20a "For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications ...these are the things that defile a man."
Before you disagree--just think about it. Everything you do, starts in the mind with a thought. Self-pleasuring is no different--it starts with a thought, then you follow thru with an action. And then when that action no longer satisfies, the same thought leads to other actions...and another action--it grows like a rolling snowball. But, when you let the Son shine-- the snow melts!

And just one last word for any of you who are unbelievers. I know I probably get on your nerves, quoting Scripture and talking about the love of God, and Jesus is the Light... and so on...so there are two thoughts I'd like to leave with you. Ponder them if you will:

simply beautiful's actions don't save me. But, the fact that I am saved should show itself in my actions.

Secondly, God loves you and He has a plan for your life. Be forever blessed.

simply beautiful.

February '09 Artist of the Month

2009-03-16T00:38:00.004-05:00

Still Living Single

2009-03-15T23:37:00.003-05:00

Hello All! It's your girl again, Deeinda R. I just wanted to let you know since the last post I've been 'yet holding on'. I know, I know. It kinda sounded like I was throwing in the towel. But no.
I've been praying hard on this one. It's such a touchy topic with me--I'm going to take some time to study this topic further and I'll let you know what I come up with. This I know, God is good all the time. I expect He will answer--but until then, His grace is sufficient. I know He won't let me down. He never has...He never will. In the meantime and in between time, as the old folk say...I'm sending up my timbre...{ did I spell that right?!! : ) } and I'll get back at ya soon.

Much Luv 2 my singles...hold on....be strong!!!
simply beautiful... a.k.a. diamond in the rough (Deeinda R)
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Living Single

2009-03-12T23:23:00.018-05:00

Hey Y'all!! It's simply beautiful a.k.a. diamond in the ruff..sho nuff..talking stuff..too tuff not giving no bluff! LOL. Did that take you back to the '70's? LOL. I had a cousin that used to talk like that when I was a little girl. He used to tickle me. If you asked Dewey how he was doing...he'd come at ya with--"Flipping but not flying. Flying but not high"...some mess like that...I don't remember because I was too busy laughing!!

Okay, 'nuff of that! Today's topic is...Living Single. as a Christian. in 2009. wanting to date...but 2 scared. So you see why I didn't put all that on the title line. LOL. Where do I start? Well, let me get my disclaimer out the way. The part of me that's talking today is 'Diamond in the Rough'. She's straight-forward, shooting from the hip, may be right, may be wrong, but this is the truth as she sees it.. this is how she feels. Be patient with 'diamond' cuz Gaaawd is not thru with me yet!! I AM..With that said...I am a Saved, Single woman who is wishing to date a saved, single man. I even have one in mind. We attend the same church--I'm attracted to him, and he's attracted to me.

It's all good, right? Well, the only problem is approaching one another. He won't approach me. I think he wants me to approach him. That's not a problem....riiiiight? MMmm. I'm not so sure. You see, I don't want to look like a little trollop ho-monkey chasing a man...in church..in front of God, the Pastor and the Mother Board. So what do I do? Wait? I've been waiting! Say "hello". Yep--done that too. He's got the message. So what next? I'll revisit this one another time.

So...moving along... Say we get over this 'approach one another' hump? And we start to date. Thus my question. What is the proper way for a Christian couple to date? My Pastor has thrown out a couple bones...he says something like --make sure 'brother-man' takes me to a nice restaurant. No Chili's, no Johnny Carino's because I can do that myself. He needs to be sure to take me to a $50.00 per plate venue. Uh--really? And don't let 'brother-man' pick me up at my home. I drive myself to the restaurant, he drives himself--we meet there, have dinner, drive to our respective homes. Okay. That sounds good. But what else? I mean...really. I ain't trying to break a brother. I know I'm a healthy sistah, but I don't want to spend every date going out to eat. And even at that, $50.00 a plate would be a once in a while thing. I like other things too. like a walk in the park, going to live plays, live music--church musicals, jazz, etc. I like art shows, basketball, movies, arcades. I like the Main Street Art Fest each April in downtown Fort Worth. I like book fairs, shopping, car shows---I have a variety of interests. And regarding this dating thing I have a variety of questions. For example, 'Is it okay to hold hands? I would think so. I think it's sweet to see a couple holding hands. It's a gesture of intimacy without being lewd. How about kissing? OOOOoo I miss kissing. And I don't mean that brother/sister kiss on the cheek. And how much further than kissing is okay? Now, don't get me twisted....'diamond' is celibate and has been for a minute--okay longer than a minute--much longer. a really, really long minute strung together into years. okay. And she intends to stay celibate, because I'm a Lady. And as a Lady, I want to keep myself. I want to keep myself for my own self-worth. I want to keep myself for my future man. But most importantly, not only for myself and for my future man...but for God. Because God's word says: What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 1Cor6:19 (KJV).

Don't you feeel the eruption? Can you tell the questions are just rising up? Can't you just see the 'but'. Yeah. Well here it is. But, what about these desires that I have? What about the longings I have? I love having a man's arms around me. I miss having a man touch me. I want someone to kiss, to hold and to love. I don't like being single, alone and lonely. (And yes please, I'd love some cheese with this whine!!!) What about these issues? It has not been totally easy being single and celibate for all of this time. The church tells us singles that in order to be 'good Christians', we MUST NOT have sex outside of marriage. I got that. We MUST NOT masturbate. I got that, too. We MUST stay clear of any thing and all things sexual. Okay, then what can we do? Others begin to see the singles in church as asexual. WRONG!! Many of us are NOT ASEXUAL. For those who don't know, asexual is individuals who do not experience sexual attraction, experience little sexual attraction, or lack interest in or the desire for sex. THIS DOES NOT DESCRIBE ME!! NO WAY!! Believe me, I have needs, I want sex. I cannot just flip a switch to turn off the desire to be intimate with the opposite sex. But church singles are treated as though we are satisfied, or should be satisfied in our situation. And don't get me wrong...some of us are. To each his/her own!! I was satisfied with not being attracted to anyone, for a while. But something about that changed. And for those like me, those who are very sensual individuals-- what do we do? Did I hear someone say 'Pray'. That's a good answer. A very good answer. Prayer works. Prayer changes people and prayer changes things. I've done the prayer. Now what? 'Trust God for a mate?' Yeah. Doing that, too. My mate is on his way. So, what next? "Wait on God". Yeah. I'm waiting....and waiting....and waiting. He's an on time God. No doubt. My time is not His time. I'm not making excuses. It seems like it when I say what I'm about to say next, but really no excuse... But I am human. And as a human, I have needs and desires. Is that wrong? I mean...God gave me the desire for companionship, the longing for love, and a sex drive...right? Right. He sure did. What do I do with these desires until my man comes and we date and decide to get married? Will I really burn in hell for self pleasuring? Should I resort to finding a friend with benefits? Now really, honestly, I don't want to do either--but I've got to release this sexual frustration somehow!! And exercise? Really, how much exercise I can get before I start to look like the Incredible Hulk?

And one last thing. This is the one thing that really gets me. Married folks who talk to singles about 'refrain from this and refrain from that'. Yeah, right. How you gonna tell me to refrain and you're getting your sexual needs met on the regular? How you gonna tell me to hold out and hold on and be a 'good Christian' if you ain't been where I am? And if you can't feel me on this---then I don't want to hear from you. Let me hear from someone who knows. For I believe the Word of the Lord and I know that there's gotta be something else besides sexual frustration for the Christian single over 30. There's got to be. The desires get stronger...and want to take over...I and many singles like me, need help.

God, please, are you listening? We need help!!!

I need help!!

simply beautiful's inner girl-- diamond in the rough. sho nuff.

If sexing him is wrong....show me a more excellent way. I want to be right.
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Getting SexXy Back?!!!

2009-03-08T14:37:00.006-05:00

Everybody's talking about 'Getting SexXy Back". Well, I admit...I cannot feel you on that one. I'll have you know that I don't have to get my sexXy back, cuz MY SExXY NEVER LEFT!!!

simply beautiful.
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The Atheist

2009-03-05T08:30:00.003-06:00

An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees!' What powerful rivers! 'What beautiful animals! He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river,he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him..
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
He tripped & fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him...

At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!'
Time Stopped.The bear froze.The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?
Am I to count you as a believer?
The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?
'Very well,' said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'

A Letter to my Friends at CWT

2009-03-03T12:39:00.006-06:00

Readers: Remember my news from yesterday? That I got laid off from my job? Well, I emailed my friends at work because I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to them. They only knew by word of mouth that I'd been laid off--and it's important to me to let them know that I'm okay. I'm not in a puddle of tears, pulling out my hair and wondering 'why me?' I know 'why me'. God told me 2-3 weeks ago that it is time for me to move. And when God tells me it's time to move, usually it's immediate. So, I know that I know that I'm in His Will, in His time, and on my way to fulfill His purpose for my life. I wrote this email and sent it to about 6 of my friends at work--the greatest joy I got in response is at the end of the message. Yes, I've got God and Jesus all up and through it my email-- Because that's how I roll from now on. I've come to a full realization that CWT didn't keep me. $$$ don't keep me. Clothes, shoes and a silverado truck don't keep me. God keeps me!

Greetings Friends,
I didn't get the chance to say "goodbye" on yesterday. I just want to thank you for your friendship over the years. Please know that everything will be alright.Yes, this is a hard time--for everybody. Although the layoff procedure seems so cold and heartless, the company does what it needs to do for itself. (Take that for what it's worth)I'm scheduled to graduate with my bachelor's degree in May--so this time off from work gives me more time to concentrate and focus on my studies--so it's a good thing. I was going to be changing fields anyway, this layoff just put me on a faster schedule than I intended-- God knows best. : )Please feel free to use my personal email at anytime. I will be more than happy to hear from you. I was not planning to have a party to celebrate my graduation, but I'm thinking that over this morning. I have to celebrate with my dearest friends-- you all! So, I will keep you posted. Please tell Rusty, Carol, Shalini, Courtney, Wendy Erma, Becky, Mel, Bj ....I think that's all....that I said 'goodbye' --
Remember friends--Keep Your Head Up!! God is in control. I WAS NOT BLINDSIDED by this. I knew about 2 weeks ago that I was on the layoff list. I mean, really. why would they keep me when they knew I was about to get my degree? I wanted so much to prepare you all, but the words just stuck in my throat.

Take it light people. I love you all so much!!!

My friends emailed me back and I didn't correct grammar or change anything so don't get mad and say simply beautiful don't know grammar. I'm just keeping my friend's messages the way they sent them.
starting with Tina
"You are truly an amazing person. I am so proud of you and your great attitude. God has many blessings in store for you and you deserve them all. Thanks for this comforting email, it has really helped me to dry my tears and be a little more optimistic. I know now that you are going to be fine. "

Nan
"I was so hurt because I will miss seeing you on a daily basis but you keep your head up and you sound great but I know you are in Gods hands and there is nothing he cant handle and he always has a plan as you already know keep in touch and I will as well. "

Wendy
"It is so good to hear from you!! Your email uplifted me so much. I was so depressed when I found out late afternoon that they are still letting people go. And really disappointed that you were one of them. I love your positive outlook on this whole thing, which we all can learn from. I wish you the best of luck in moving forward and finding your dream job. You will always have a special place in my heart w/ your smile and your laugh.I really enjoyed getting to know you. Please stay in touch and keep me posted on your dream job."

Lynette--
"Hey Baby Girl you got your head on straight that's a good thing Praise God!!!!dang i miss you already..... it's not like you are off today....the way for me to pacify my self is to have a mind set that you are on vacation...... if not it will mess with me hard TRUST take care ....and we will keep in touch Love ya much your big sis Lynette "

and the most exciting message my friend DeShaun shared with me about Raoof. He's muslim.
Raoof asked about you yesterday....he wanted to know what was going on...he was shaking like a leaf.....He called on Jesus girl....not Allah!!!.....

and to that I say : "Praise God!!"

simply beautiful
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Good Morning, Sunshine!

2009-03-02T19:04:00.004-06:00

An email conversation with my cousin "K" this morning.

from me:
G' morning, Sunshine! What's up? How was your weekend? Mine went well. Let me tell you what happened yesterday...I had someone flirting hard with me at church. My son was sitting next to me and he picked up on it before I did...and then when we got home..little man was LIVID!! Girl, I ain't never seen nothing so funny...I mean, my son was HOT!! Reminded me of the movie "Baby Boy" when tyrese mama was dating old dude. (LOL)..my son was ranting "why he have to sit so close?and this guy was trying so hard to get your attention!...blah...blah"
So we talked last night on the way back to school....he actually shut down on me...he say he's not mad at me...he just didn't want to talk about it. I guess he finds it hard to believe that someone would find me attractive. I told him that no matter if I decide to date or whatever--my love for him doesn't change. I'm kind of torn..yeah, I want to see this guy--but I don't want my son feeling like he's gonna be left out..I didn't date while he was coming up because I didn't want him getting attached to someone and then the relationship not work...any suggestions? I'm praying...

"K"
(Now )as for this situation with your son.. Quite naturally he is going to react like that because it has only been the two of you for so long!! However, you have done a fine job in raising him and he is in college doing what it takes to become successful. It is time you did some things for yourself.. Your son has been your boyfriend and son for far too long!If it were me I would explain t and reassure him that your love for him will never change but there is nothing wrong with you having a guy friend.. And move on.. One day He’s going to find someone that he likes too and move on.. Then what.. life and time will have passed you on by..Girl please I know that’s your baby but you need to get out SERIOUSLY!.. Let me tell you I have a friend situation kind of similar..She and her son were always together did everything together most like you and your son..He was her date when she went to the movies etc. and What’s crazy is she had a man for the most part… I mean the guy she was dating I think they met when her son was about 13 so up until then it was just them.. Even after she met this guy she and her son still did almost everything together and when they all started living together then it was the 3 of them doing everything together..To make a long story short… when her son got of age and moved away with his girlfriend she was hurt.. She and the guy have split up some what for other reasons but because she has no life outside of them she is now at home alone and lonely…. Nothing wrong with having great love for your son/kids but hell at the same time there’s nothing wrong with dating and you should not let your kid stand in the way of that especially when he’s damn near grown! You have got to find time for yourself and mingle because kids move on and get over things..Trust me..

me

I appreciate your response. I know I told him the right thing. I explained to him --when he comes home for the holidays, he'll go out with his friends and leave me at the house alone. The first time I was a little mad--I had to check myself!!...but I got over it--I mean, he's entitled to going out with friends and so am I . I don't want him up under me all the time !! I also told him that one day he'll find someone special..whether dating or marry...and then what does he expect me to do? Just sit around and knit? ...No --I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone! I want companionship too. He thinks its all about sex... I guess that's one thing men worry about... their own mothers having sex...I can relate. I think he just needs time to adjust to the idea. I'd been telling him about this guy flirting with me--and he told me it was my imagination..he really put a guilt trip on me... but no more..he saw for himself that I'm not chasing this guy...he's chasing me! And I'm glad it happened that way..my son just needs a little time to let it sink in...then I'll start dating. But I ain't giving him a lot of time...just a week or so--smile--Thanks for your input. You should continue to date and do your thing! Your kids have each other to keep company. If I would have had more than one child, I think I would've dated also. I chose my route --though difficult...I don't think I would change it. I have to remember, I told God that I'd wait until my son is older and able to take care of himself before I would move on with my personal life..and He granted that. So, I can't complain.

"K"
Yeap I agree totally.. and you’re right it’s just the reality of having to adapt to the idea that probably hit hard.. I mean it’s a huge and sudden change so who wouldn’t be concerned about their mother.. It’s natural.. But it’s up to us as mothers to make sound decisions as to how we are going to handle these type situations.. So when you gonna go on a date? And what was this guy talking about Sunday.. are you attracted to him? Have you told aunt Bobbie about him?

me
OMG!!! Dang!! all the questions...Is he gonna have to get your stamp of approval too? LOL...will answer the rest in a second....too busy laughing right now!!!!

"K"

YEAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Na gurl!! I know you enough to know that you wouldn’t waste your time with trash so I’m sure he’s a nice guy. What’s so funny? I’m serious and curious!

me
You just had all these questions at once. I didn't think I'd have to get your approval too.
Yeah...he's tall and slim...yes, I'm attracted to him..not talking about much--just chit-chat and we don't have a date yet. What I'd like is for them to get along and be comfortable being around one another.

in closing...this is the conversation I had with my cousin this morning concerning a young man at church who has been flirting with me for quite a while. My son had been telling me that it was my imagination and that this guy could not possibly be interested in me. I know that my child loves me and that he has my best interest at heart. I'm his first girl--and my cousin is right..he has been my substitute date for many years. But I don't regret the time I've spent with him. I believe we are very close as a mother and son. I encourage my son to talk to me about ANY and EVERY THING. Sex, girls, cars, clothes, boobs, vaginas, penises, guys, music, religion, family issues, drugs, war, politics, guns, pornography, homosexuality, HIV/AIDS, condoms, menstrual cycles...hell...we've talked about it all and then some. So it was very alarming to me when he would not talk to me about this subject at all! There's only a couple of things I can do.
1) is Pray. and 2) is give time, time.
So while he's trying to wrap his mind around the idea of his mom dating again...I'll be dating.
Thanks "K" for being open, honest, a bit brutal, but all true. Girl, you are the shiznit!!

simply beautiful--
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News

2009-03-02T18:59:00.003-06:00

Hi Gentle Reader:
Due to the downturn in the economy...I must report that simply beautiful has been laid off from her employ. Not to worry--the post will not stop. They may become more frequent, in fact. But know this--Everything is going to be alright. God is preparing me for what's next in my life. Or really, I should say--what's now if my life. I'd been listening to Darryl Coley sing that song every morning for 3 weeks now--knowing in my spirit that something was brewing. But as I said, everything is going to be alright.

I'm trusting God.

simply beautiful.
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Follow Your Dreams

2009-02-28T21:59:00.006-06:00

Good Evening!

I promised you a blog entry on how God has worked things out in my life. In the previous blog entry I asked "Has death ever threatened your dreams?" My answer is " Yes! But God!" I also said there is a testimony in every test! And here is my testimony.
When I graduated high school, I went straight into college. I attended the University of Texas at Arlington and did well in my core courses. But I really didn't know what I wanted to major in. I'd chosen Accounting, but not really knowing what I wanted to do. I just picked it because a cousin of mine had studied it. And I stuck with it as long as I could--but failing class after class until I was placed on academic suspension. I didn't have the sense to just change my major to something I liked and could handle.
Well, fast forward a few years. After I stopped attending UTA I worked full-time--I mean what else was there? A few years into that I found myself with child. I gave birth to my son--all the time holding on to the dream that one day I would finish the degree I started a few years before. Well, a few years turned in to many years. I tried going back to school when my son was a toddler, then again while he was in elementary school, but neither time worked. I was working full time during the day, and my son needed me at home at night. But I didn't give up--I still held fast to the dream and prayed. At times, it seemed I wouldn't ever have a chance. At other times, I was hopeful. God gave me a dream. He gave me a desire to finish my degree.
Forward again to 2005. My son was in high school, becoming more self-reliable and independent. So, I decided to try it again. I decided to enroll at Tarrant County College and finish my science requirements, take a couple of electives and even took a Sociology class--just to see if I'd like it...and fell in love. I'd found my niche.
My sociology professor suggested to the class that we take other sociology classes and even transfer to Texas Wesleyan University, his alma mater. I'd never even considered TWU, even though it is close to home and the sociology department is one of the finest. Well, I prayed about applying and decided to give it a try. You see, since I hadn't done well at UTA, I figured that no other college would accept me. The application process was a bit unnerving. I had to request a transcript from my previous colleges--and looking at the transcript from UTA was painful. But I kept hearing God say He was making a way for me. A couple of weeks went by and I received a letter from TWU. They were still trying to decide whether to admit me or not. They wanted a statement from me-- a one page letter telling something about myself, my accomplishments, my hopes and dreams. I don't recall exactly what I put in the letter, but I decided to be as real and transparent as I could. The thought that came to mind was "to thine own self be true". I looked at my life with a critical but fair eye. I admitted to myself first that there are areas where I am/was weak. I admitted to myself first, the mistakes I'd made and my shortcomings. Then, I asked God to show me a more excellent way. I looked at ways that I could strengthen my weaknesses and overcome my shortcomings. I gave them a short intro of who I am--a hard worker, a single mother, employed full-time with the same company for 7 years ( at that time ), and that I'd returned to TCC and had made decent grades. I admitted that I hadn't done well while at UTA, however I had been working hard over the last 2 years--holding full time employment, being a single mom, and attending school. I was convinced that I could continue to do well if I were allowed the opportunity to attend TWU. I ended the letter with a quote from Michael Jordan. This quote moved me--it explain my situation in a nutshell and gave me hope to move forward. I'd found it while composing the letter and it has helped me to keep my head up over the last 2 years. Mike said, "You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them." This was a very powerful statement to me because I came to realize that if I am to attain my dream of achieving a college degree, first I need to BELIEVE that it can happen, and second EXPECT that I can do it.
Well, my letter convinced the board at TWU to give me a shot. I received a phone call about 3 weeks later that I'd been accepted as a transfer student to Texas Wesleyan. I shared this information with my brother the next day. It was to be the last good news I shared with him before he passed away one week later. Bittersweet.
Even though I lost my brother, my best friend, my confidant....I knew that I still had to attend TWU. He would want me to. He knew my struggle in college and my heart's desire to return and finish my degree. He was proud of me...and he said so.
Now, it's 2009. I have completed 27 college hours. I have made A's, B's and couple of C's and have a GPA of 3.85 in my major. I am taking 12 hours this semester--which means that in May I will have a total of 39 hours--6 hours shy of the 45 hours needed by transfer students for graduation. TWU has a stipulation that if a senior is within 6-8 hours of graduation in the Spring, said senior may participate in the ceremony in May. Guess what y'all?!!

SAID SENIOR (that's me) IS WALKING IN MAY!!!

I can finish the last 6 required hours in the summer. Now, everything is not official yet. I have to pass the 12hours I'm taking now and make sure that any fees, etc. are paid in full. But, I firmly believe that if God brings me to it, He will see me through it! So there it is...my test in my testimony. I started out with many strikes against me, being full of fear, doubt and uncertainty. But I had a dream. And I have a God who makes dreams come to reality, even when you think that the dream is dead. So hold on--be strong--it's only a test!

my dream is yet alive

attaining a Bachelors of Arts and Sciences in Sociology 2009 Texas Wesleyan University, Fort Worth, TX.

simply beautiful
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It's Just a Process!

2009-02-25T22:29:00.004-06:00

Yesterday's blog is still on my mind, which I guess is really a good thing. I am such a private person--so for me to open up about what I'm going through is a big thing for me. I may have given way too much truth. I've heard it said that the truth shall set (me) free. But, I'm really uneasy about this-- I don't want you to see me in a bad light, but at the same time I need you to know that I, too go through. I don't want you to feel bad for me...I do that enough for myself...But I hope you will pray for simply beautiful. As she can always use prayer. Now only pray if you stand in agreement with me. And standing in agreement with me is simply asking God that His will, His plans and preparations are carried out in my life. Thanks! I really love and appreciate you!!
Now, on to today. It's a good day--I cried my last tears yesterday (thank you MaryMary) over this situation. I realize that God is moving me to a place that I would not be able to handle until I go through this test...this trial...experience this pressure, pain ...and endure the fire. Speaking of going through, I got an email yesterday from a close friend ( thanks Dee), regarding precisely that...going through. It's called It's Just a Process. And I want to highlight a few sentences and comment throughout. You know simply beautiful always has something to say and I say it boldly. (in bold print, that is)
" Have you, in your life, experienced tragedy? Maybe a close relative passed away ? (yes) Have you ever been the topic of discussion or rumors? (yes, again) People sat around and talked bad about you. (And not just any people--family members, church folk, and so called friends) Have you ever endured betrayal ?(yep-- been there,too) The one person you thought could be trusted, a close friend, a mate, a parent even, left you to “die” alone.( yeah, each parent at different times-- and that really hurt!) Ughm. Have you ever been deceived ? You had good intentions but the enemy tricked you. (yeah, just plain ol' mani-pu-dipted, chile! the parents, again) Have you ever questioned your calling? ( yes. and shame on me!) Have you ever walked away from a promise? (trying my best not to do that right now!!) Have you ever experienced depression or loneliness? ( way too often ) Has death ever threatened your dreams? ( yes, but God bought my dreams back to life! I'll give that testimony in another blog) Hmmmmm...yes it's in these times when believing seems harder than giving up. (don't I know it!!) Through all you have experienced in life, you must understand this important point: Whatever you are currently going through : It's Just A Process! "
Now, I've learned some things about the Process. I'll share 6 important points to remember:

Your trouble will only last a season... a season could be 24hrs, a week, a month...a year,15 years-- maybe longer. Know this--God is with you. He never allows you to endure the battle alone. One of my favorite quotes is: "If He brings you to it, He'll see you through it!"
Trouble's not designed to kill you-- It can't . Although the enemy thinks it will, God will not allow it. While watching one of my son's favorite cartoons I heard the main character say that 'what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.' Wisdom from a cartoon? umph imagine that?!
Everything happens for a reason. You may not see the reason. You may not even understand. It's not meant for you to see or understand. What God wants from you is called 'trust'. How many times have you sang in church "I will trust in the Lord!...I will trust in the Lord!...til I die...." Well, now is the time, trust in Him!
You will make it! Have no fear. No matter how awful it appears, you will make it because God has equipped you to make it. Tests and trials are the process God allows in order to move you from where you are now to where He has ordained for you to be. The Word says it like this-- Although I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. Psalm 23:4 Remember the test or trial is what you're going through--i.e. the valley of the shadow of death... ( as in a journey), not where you're going to (as in a destination. Also notice that the valley does not have a name, just a description.)
God will get the glory. Although you are going through...really it's not about you. It's about God using you to advance His Kingdom.

A Final Word: God has to try us by fire and/or extreme pressure--much like what's involved in processing gold and diamonds. The first step is to burn off the impurities in us, which in gold separates the lesser metals (the impure) from the fine metal (the pure). And look, think about how a diamond comes about--the black coal on the outside (sin in us) only gives way when it's put under extreme pressure (resistance-- like from the Word of God which convicts us). The pressure we go through removes impurities, molds, and shapes us into the image of our Father and reveals His brilliant light that shines and sparkles on the inside of us. God allows trials and tribulations in our lives so that He can move us to the next level in Him. So when the heat is up, and you're pressured on every side, be encouraged-- it's Just a Process. Yes, we will resist, it's only natural because we're human, but don't miss the lesson in the trial. Learn to give thanks in every thing and in every season. Realize that in every testimony, there's a test! Be blessed!!

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you!

1Thess 5:18

simply beautiful.

A Season for Change

2009-02-24T21:23:00.008-06:00

Hi! It's been a few days since I've posted. Rest assured, I'm always around. I've just been busy with work, school, internship and church--getting about 3-4 hours of sleep each night. And on top of that, fighting a cold on last week. Whew...simply beautiful is simply worn-out. But, my soul is renewed! It all started with an email I got this morning from Tyler Perry. I love getting those emails because he is always right on time with the Word. No matter what he seems to be going through at the time, he has a word that is on the money for me. I often wonder, 'how does he do that?' The same word that works for him in his situation, works for me in my situation. I'll tell you how that works--it's a God thing. In His infinite wisdom, He's worked it out that way. So, I'll share with you a snippet of TP's word that helped me on today. If you've read it before, just pretend like you haven't--hopefully I'll be able to put a spin on it that will make it new again. Tyler wrote: "When I think about how close I came to giving up... When I think about all the hell I went through to get here...When I think about all the people who told me I wasn't going to be anything...To know that (someone) stands shoulder to shoulder with me--God, that makes me feel good. There is a simple scripture in the Bible that I think about often, and it says when you have favor with God then you have favor with man. I hope somebody is paying attention to this. Not the number one movie, not the TV shows, not the studio, but simply paying attention to the fact that all things are possible to them that will believe. No matter what is going on in your life. No matter what you're faced with. ONLY BELIEVE! Believe for the best outcome and that's what you will receive." Tyler Perry

I cried when I read this. You see, nobody knows what I'm going through. I haven't told anyone. If I told you how I live, you wouldn't believe me. If I told you what I go through, just to make it day to day-you'd think I was lying. If I showed you, you'd cry and ask me why I do it. Right now I have no choice. It is a burden to have no alternatives. I'm sure I'm not the only one--but right now I feel like it. I can feel the words Tyler wrote, I literally see them--because it's me. I have been close--many times-- to giving up. There are days that I tell God that I just want to walk away and leave everything and everyone behind. You don't know the hell that I've been through, that I'm going through sharing this with you. My only sibling, my older brother died in June 2007--sometimes I'm fine..sometimes I grieve like he died today. My parents are no longer together, something that's been a looong time coming, but only came about because my brother died. Nobody talks about the pain--of losing my brother nor of my parents' separation. Nobody talks about the future--will my parents divorce already? or will they continue with the charade as if they are together and a happy family? I'm being really transparent and allowing you to see inside of me, which is quite difficult. I know that I could not make it from day to day if I didn't have God in my life. If I didn't have my son, I'd have nothing to live for. There are days that I double over--not because of some physical ailment that causes me pain--but from the pain in my soul. I am sometimes overtaken with grief and the pain inside. I am the familys' 'appointed' peacemaker, the mediator that no one listens to--and it is a burden. But, I go on as if it doesn't matter. I smile through the pain. I cry and wipe away my tears to put on yet another smile for another day. I hold my head high and keep walking like I don't have a care in the world. But underneath it all, my head hurts and my heart aches.

But, God is good and His mercy endures forever. God has given me a promise-- and He is preparing me for the next thing that comes into my life. I've got to move on, move out and move up. The next step in my life requires it. I can't stay where I am and receive the things I'm to receive. I must put new wine in new wineskins, for God has opened doors for me. He's a light unto my path, or in today's language, He's "mapquested" my route. Now all I have to do is walk. I have His favor. And He will use somebody, somewhere to offer their influence, finances, gifts and abilities that will allow me to fulfill the purpose that He has for me!

Before I close, let me remind you: Live. Love. Laugh. and don't forget to pee.

simply beautiful

Get this in your Spirit!!

2009-02-18T00:24:00.002-06:00

Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than it does for itself. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, doesn't have a swelled head, doesn't force itself on others, isn't always 'me first', doesn't fly off the handle, doesn't keep score of the sins of others, doesn't revel when others grovel. Love takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Love never dies. 1Corinthians 13:4-8

Ten Things I'd Like To Do

2009-02-12T22:29:00.013-06:00

Hello My Sweet Peas!! simply beautiful has had a wonderful day and she is simply excited!!Things are going well and I'm getting set for May. Before I get ahead of myself, I'll be making that announcement soon. But today, I just wanted to share my 'wish list'. There are some things I'd like to do, some places I'd like to go, and some experiences I'd like to experience in my life. These are my goals in random order:

1. Travel to New York. I'd like to ride the subway, visit Times Square, and see the Alvin Ailey Dance Troup. I'd like to visit the gravesite of Malcolm X while I'm there and go to Harlem. and Travel to Washington, DC. again. I wanna see the Obamas. and Travel to Atlanta, Hawaii, California, the Caribbean, and Canada. and International Travel to Europe, Africa, Australia, and other exotic places.

2. Further my education.

3.Date. Marry. Have sex. ( in that order ) yeah it sounds a bit primitive doesn't it? This is where I am. I'm just keeping it real.

4.Become a proud homeowner.

5.Learn to cook gumbo like Mrs. K.

6. Buy a Chevy Tahoe. fully loaded. without blinking or batting an eye.

7. Make a difference in a child's life. Help them get to, stay in, and finish college.

I'd like to see a child realize his/her dreams.

8. I'd like to view the earth from outer space. Yeah. really.

9. I'd like more than a job--but an adventure. I want 2 love what I do and be able to make a living at it.

10. It's my dream to find something to do with those pesky plastic shopping bags that clutter empty lots hanging in trees, bushes, and floating in lakes.

Well, here's my short list- diverse, serious and whimsical. Some of these are already in the works. And others I'll need to get started on in the near future. I encourage you to make a list. Be as wild and creative as you like. Think of life as a game. When you want to have fun, you take the game out of the box. So, keep this in mind when you make your list, think outside the box. Because outside the box is where the fun is!

Addendum: The Tahoe has been replaced. Outside of the box is the fully loaded Lincoln Navigator--leather seats, moon roof, Voice Activated Navigation System with integrated SIRIUS® Travel Link, etc, etc...

I AM... simply beautiful

2009-02-09T22:15:00.016-06:00

Greetings Gentle Reader:
This must be the month for family issues, because I certainly have my share. And to think, my issues are not even with the family in my household, but extended family. Aunts and Cousins and Grandma, oh my! My issue is that I feel like an outsider in my own family. I'm not the 'black sheep' nor am I the one constantly stirring up trouble. The issue is I just don't fit in. Not on either side of the family. I never have. It's safe to say that I never will. Why? Well, where do I start?
On my dad's side of the family, I have the privilege and honor to be the offspring of the eldest. My dad is the first of 13 children. (He claims to be the 'cream of the crop'. yeah right...more like the cream of the crap!!) See, most of my aunts have daughters. They feel, and I don't know why, that their daughters carry the "true bloodline"--so a daughter born to one of the brothers does not carry the "true bloodline". Mmmm. Go on, scratch your head--cuz I had to scratch mine. Now, I'm not even sure what they mean by 'true bloodline' and really don't care. But even if there is such a thing, peep this analogy. Iwould think that the true bloodline is carried by the male--he plants the seed, and his seed determines the sex of the child and when the seed gets here, he gives the seed his last name. Now since I'm the daughter of a male AND I have my dad's last name-- then I would consider myself of the "true bloodline". Mmm. it's a bit confusing....right? I mean, after all, kin is kin. Whether the child of a son, or child of a daughter none of us are closer to the bloodline than the other--are we? Well, according to some of my aunts, my analogy is wrong. I'm not as kin to them as they are to each other. So, I'm left out a lot. I'm left out of conversations--I don't get invited to the birthday gatherings--and if I manage to get an invite, I'm a second or third thought, even. Yeah, I just don't fit in with them because I'm not privy to the "daughter of a daughter"clique, club, or crew.

Well, let me explain why I don't fit on my mom's side of the family--You see with my mom and grandmom, it's all about skin color. Their motto is: the lighter skinned you are, the prettier and smarter you are. You've seen my picture. It's in the top right hand corner if you missed me. As you can see, I'm of the darker persuasion. I'm the color of a bowl of sweet Cocoa Puffs in milk on a Saturday morning. I'm a 'Cinnamon Honey'. A glass of Chocolate Milk. I'm a caramel colored Cookie. I'm the epitome of a Soul Sistah-Brown Sugah... I am the color of a strong, sweet cup of coffee with a hint of milk.
I guess you get it by now. I told you what I am...now I'll tell you what I ain't--I ain't "high yella." And I ain't tall nor thin. With mom and grandmom, being "high yella" is what's required to be considered smart and beautiful. Oh yes, my mom tells me that I was beautiful from the day I was born. And I'm about to graduate college --so that means I'm smart, too. But I feel she's disappointed because I was not born a "high yella heffa"-- Don't get me wrong--I ain't knocking the sistahs who are high yella or red bone. I don't want to be nothing but who I am. I love the way God made me. I love my smooth 'shocka-lotta' colored skin. ( And I know a certain gentleman who likes it too!--shout out to eb!!) But mom and grandmom ALWAYS favor my lighter skinned, slim-built cousins. All I hear is how "pretty so and so is... how tall and statuesque so and so is. She just pretty and should be a model". I don't hear none of that directed towards me. My cousins and I have similar facial features-- so I know we're all beautiful in our own way. But mom and g*mom go out of the way, tripping over their own feet just to let everybody know that the "high yella" in the family is the prettiest, and the smartest...and the rest of us are just by the wayside I guess.
As for me, I favor my Big Mama (my dad's mother) more than I do anyone else. My grandmom (mom's mom) ALWAYS feels she has to point that out--not like a real compliment, but more like a sly insult. Yes, like my Big Mama, I am shapely-- I have an ample bosom, thick thighs, and a big butt--( more for my future man to hold onto, my dear.) As I tell my son, "I'm still a brick house...I just have a few more bricks and they're stacked in all the right places. Yes, the addition is niiiiice!" LOL. My Big Mama's a beautiful woman, both inside and out--so poised, so regal and majestic, a kind, warm-hearted person with a ready smile. ( And for the record, I'll take beauty over pretty any day!!). What I do is take my g*mom's rude, sly comment about me being like my Big Mama as the ultimate compliment. Because I am very much like her--and proud of it! Maybe my g*mom is rude with me because I don't resemble her or she's just eee-villl. Yeah, that could be it, too. Haterade. Don't drink it people!!!
But when I'm around my mom and g*mom, I feel like chopped liver-flavored dog food next to my lighter skinned and slimmer, which to mom and g*mom also makes them smarter and prettier, cousins. And that makes me MAD!!
I happen to believe that beauty comes in many different shades of black. You can tell God loves color because He created so many different shades in one race of people--ranging from Light Bright, damn near white to high yella, red bone to honey to cinnamon to caramel to chestnut to ruddy bronze to ruddy honey chestnut bronze to black to reddish black, to true blue black, to purple black to black black--and every hue in between!! God made us all beautiful, not just the light skinned people. You see, since I don't get complimented like my fair-skinned cousins, I have to remind myself that I am pretty--NO, correction, that I am simply beautiful. That's why I call myself 'simply beautiful'. And you thought it was because I'm vain? No--I'm narcissitic--not vain. You get to see inside of me, here. simply beautiful is about building my self-worth and self-esteem. I have to encourage myself! I have to work out the negativity and the selfish sense of superiority that stems from mom and g*mom's false, twisted idea of beauty. I had to get it in my spirit that I am wonderfully made. I am fashioned by a God who only makes that which is good. I am exactly the skin tone He intended me to be. I am the height that He built me to be in order to carry the weight that I am meant to carry. He knew I'd have hips...He knew about my ample bosom, He knew about my thick thighs---even before they were thick, because He crafted me to be exactly who I am--my personality, spirituality, my emotional and physical make up--He did it all! Wondrously! Beautifully! and Exceedingly Greaaat!!
My family loves me. I know this. But it seems that they reach out with one hand to embrace me, while the other hand pushes me away. Because of this I have to make up my mind, search my heart and know-- that whether they accept me or continue the 'push and pull'-- it's now irrelevant. I don't have to be a daughter of a daughter--for I am the daughter of THE KING!! Nor must I be 'high yella or red bone'to be pretty or smart. He accepts me as I am, for I am His Chocolate princess! I am a beautiful SinnaHoney brown, honey! I am Mocha-choca-lotta yah-yah!! I am allat and then some! Get this in your spirit...no matter what you think of me...know matter how cruel you treat me...no matter how badly you want to see me fail...there is one thing that you can not change --because I am God's, I AM simply beautiful!!

Black History Month- Honor The Steps

2009-02-08T18:20:00.003-06:00

"Honor those who have stepped forward when others were thinking backwards."

Black history is full of stories about those who stepped forward. Think Fannie Lou Hamer, Marcus Garvey, Malcolm X, Medgar Evers, Sojourner Truth, Martin L. King, Jr...and the list goes on. If I have named some names you do not recognize, I beseech you to do some research. Find out who they were, why they stepped forward, and how their steps yesterday benefit your steps today.

I'm going to highlight--Mrs. Fannie Lou Hamer. She coined the phrase "sick and tired of being sick and tired". Mrs Hamer was born to share-croppers in Mississippi. She, too became a field worker at age 6. When she grew up she married a share-cropper. Get it? All she knew was share-cropping. But there's something else. She had a desire to vote. Not only for herself, but for her family and generations to come. She desired that we all have the right to vote no matter your race, color, gender, creed, or religion. She stood up, stepped forward, and spoke out for those rights. Her story always brings me to tears. I can't believe she endured this torture to secure the right to vote for black people. Here's part of her story:

On June 3, 1963, Fannie Lou Hamer and other civil rights workers arrived in Winona, MS by bus. They were ordered off the bus and taken to Montgomery County Jail. The story continues "...Then three white men came into my room. One was a state highway policeman (he had the marking on his sleeve)... They said they were going to make me wish I was dead. They made me lay down on my face and they ordered two Negro prisoners to beat me with a blackjack. That was unbearable. The first prisoner beat me until he was exhausted, then the second Negro began to beat me. I had polio when I was about six years old. I was limp. I was holding my hands behind me to protect my weak side. I began to work my feet. My dress pulled up and I tried to smooth it down. One of the policemen walked over and raised my dress as high as he could. They beat me until my body was hard, 'til I couldn't bend my fingers or get up when they told me to. That's how I got this blood clot in my eye - the sight's nearly gone now. My kidney was injured from the blows they gave me on the back."

Fannie Lou Hamer 1917 - 1977. An icon in African-American History.

simply beautiful

Love Day 09--Six Days Away

2009-02-08T18:11:00.005-06:00

Well, we're 6 days away from Valentine's Day and I hope you will be with the one you love. As for me, it looks like another lonely Valentine's Day...hummmm. Oh well. It 's okay. I know that I'm loved. By someone. Somewhere. Out there. Feel me?

simply beautiful

Give Me an Exit!!!

2009-02-03T21:06:00.001-06:00

I love it when I learn something new. And I love it even more when I've learned something new about myself. And I am ever so grateful for the lesson. It means I'm growing and maturing ... moving from milk to meat. I've learned that I am a conqueror and I am an overcomer. Yes, I said it! So here is my story--there is an issue that I've struggled with in the past---it left me but it's come back for about the last 12 months--off and on-- it comes, lingers and it goes. Suddenly, yesterday it hit me hard. I wanted so much to just slide into what feels good and familiar...but I knew it would be the wrong thing to do. I knew that if I did it just once, I would be doing it again and again. I wanted to pray about it...but at the same time I didn't want to pray about it. I wanted to just do it. Besides that, I was afraid that I'd pray, slide into it,and then have to pray again to repent--like I've done so many times before. See, you have to understand. I know me. The carnal me. The me that wants to do what I want, when I want, how I want, where I want, and how long I want. Even though it was a struggle to pray, I had to do something. I was sinking fast..so I simply asked God "GIVE ME AN EXIT!!" His word says "But when you are tempted, he will also give you the ability to endure the temptation and (He will provide) a way of escape." 1 Cor 10:13 . God will honor his Word. When I called out to Him, I was able to overcome temptation and go to sleep. I felt really good this morning knowing that I didn't give in to my issue. On my way to work this morning, a thought occurred to me...GOD IS BIGGER THAN MY PROBLEMS. It's not like I didn't know that already--I just hadn't taken the time to let it marinate. As I begin to reflect on it and ask myself...If God is bigger than this issue-- then isn't He bigger than my other issues and concerns? Like, my finances? Love life? Family relationships? School? Work? Church? Career? Recreation?
Yep. He's big enough to handle al'at!! I can hear Him telling me, 'Cast your cares on me for I care for you' (my paraphrase from 1 Peter 5:7). I learned that whatsoever ( I just love that word!!) there is that I care about, He cares about, too. No matter how large, nor how small.
So here's my word of encouragement to you: When faced with a situation that will compromise you-- break you- shake you, and take you off course-
If the issue dismays you- delays you- tried to slay you--
or cause you to fall-- simply give God a call.
"God--Give me an exit!!"

Countdown- Love Day 2009 #3

2009-01-31T23:07:00.009-06:00

This is a continuation of the Countdown to Love Day-Feb. 14th, 2009. Here are some tips and suggestions to have some good clean fun.

Tip Number 7:

Dinner and a movie. Go out and enjoy a good time with your sweetie. Snuggle up in the theater with a romantic movie...and finish the evening at a nice restaurant.

the 8th tip:

Have a Valentine themed Game Nite. Invite your single or single and dating friends and host a night of Scrabble, Spades, Chess, Dominoes, etc. Serve snacks in/on Valentine dish and drinkware, a heart shaped cake, and decorate with heart balloons and stuffed animals.

Or if your sweetie’s a basketball fan, like me, surprise him/her by going to a Mavericks game at the American Airlines Center—preferably a game on or close to Valentine’s Day--here's a schedule-- Tue Feb 10th
Mavs vs Sacramento @ 7:30pm

Thu Feb 12
Mav vs Boston @8:30pm

Wed Feb18
Mavs vs New Jersey @7:30pm

And number nine:
Written Love Message Day. Leave a romantic note or card in his/her car. Or just hand it to him/her. You might tell him/her why they are so special to you—flirt, flatter, and make the heart flutter!

Love....bears all things, believes all things,hopes all things, endures all things...Love Never Fails. 1Corin.13

Happy Loving!!

simply beautiful.

January Artist of the Month Eric Birdine & the Messengers

2009-01-31T22:43:00.008-06:00

Eric Birdine & the Messengers are an awesome group. Be sure to check back regarding the upcoming release of an incredible Praise and Worship CD recorded live!!

You'll be blessed!

simply beautiful

Black Love at its Finest

2009-01-27T23:37:00.009-06:00

Hey Y'all. What's the what? I just read a headline about the media's take on Black Love. In particular, the media is 'flabbergasted' by the fact that the President and First Lady actually love each other and have a good marriage. Imagine. Who would've thunk that black folk actually have relationships based upon mutual love, trust, honesty, and respect? The headline leads me to think that the media believes all black folk do is cuss, cut, and kill each other. Can't we all just get along?

Yes, statistics show that the black family is in trouble. Statistics also show that single black women are heads of household and raising children alone, more than any other race. 70 percent of African-American families are headed by a single woman, either never married or divorced. I know. I'm one of them. I chose to stay single and pregnant over being miserably married.

But, in my world, I feel the norm for the African-American community is to be married with kids. How could the media miss that? As I was growing up, I knew many married couples; happy, loving couples and raising happy, loving families--like The Jacksons, The Chandlers, The Thompsons...not to mention my Grand-parents, and my Great-Uncles and Aunts. Granted, the difference may be that my parents generation and those before them married, and stayed married. But the generations that followed either never married, or married, divorced, and remarried or remained single. But, even that is not the point.

The point is that African-Americans are looked upon as being different. We have always been ostracized and patronized and all other -ized in between... What I'm getting at is that America and the rest of the world thinks that black folks do not respect the institution of marriage nor uphold the family and family values. Truth be told, I believe family values originated in the black community. I know black men who love and respect their wives, who support and nurture their children, and are involved in their communities. Not all black men are walking around with their pants hanging low, involved in drug dealing, gambling or other illegal activities. I know hard working men, at General Motors, at Sealy Mattress, at McDonalds and Church's Chicken even. Military men, Men who pastor churches, mentor boys without fathers at home, and feed the hungry and homeless. Good, God-fearing men. They don't have a lot of money, but they love God, family and country.

And Black women. We always get the short end of the stick. We're not all Hottentot, child support seeking, gold-diggers looking for the next rap video in which to star. We work hard, too--loving our good Black men, raising children, biological or not--working at AT&T, Lockheed, Taco Bell or Popeye's chicken. We serve in the local church, mentor young girls, and volunteer to make our communities better. We are God-fearing women who respect our Black men as heads of household, protectors, and leaders. We may not have all that we want, but we sure know how to appreciate what we have.

A word to the media--PAY ATTENTION: Black woman speaking here. Stop looking at African-Americans as an uncouth race of people. We love each other--hard. Yes, as a people we have serious problems. But look at our history. We've always been a people who place God first, family next and job third. That's been our m.o. for hundreds of years now. And if you have need, which you must, here are some examples of loving Black couples--

Dr. and Mrs. Martin L. King, Jr.

Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee

David and Tamela Mann

and don't forget--Malcolm X and Betty Shabazz, Magic and Cookie Johnson, and of course Barack and Michelle Obama!! These couples exemplify Black Love at it's finest. And they are...

simply beautiful!!

Love Day 2009 - Countdown #2

2009-01-27T08:59:00.010-06:00

Okay, I'm back again today to give some tips for you and yours leading up to "Love Day '09". Feel free to add your own twists to these suggestions--just be sure you do something for the one you love ( or seriously like ). He/She will appreciate your efforts, for everyone wants to feel like they are special to someone.

the 4th tip:
Go out for a special treat—ice cream, cheesecake, chocolate cake-- really-- any dessert. I suggest Braum's, Cold Stone, or the Cheesecake Factory. You might try an appetizer, drinks and dessert at Chili's, TGI Fridays..... or any fine restaurant of choice and remember, drink responsibly!

Tip Number five:
Fireplace or Living Room Picnic--that's right, it’s still cold out. But there’s no reason you can’t have a picnic. Bring out the picnic blanket, fry some chicken, potato salad...or go simple... fix sandwiches, chips, and red kool-aid. Turn on some summertime music and enjoy a romantic inside picnic!

for some terrific recipes, visit:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes-and-cooking/picnic-recipes-and-tips/index.html

And number 6:
This will depend on the weather and the view-- Enjoy a sunset together. If you're creative you can arrange to have dinner in front of a picture window that faces west. Or just find a hill, park the car, enjoy some nice music on the radio or better yet--just talk, cuddle, and enjoy God's beautiful sunset.. And IF you are really adventurous, meet on an early morning to watch the sunrise and have breakfast together. Your sweetie will appreciate your thoughtfulness and creativity--and the fact that you think he/she is special enough to spend some time enjoying God's best creations--the opposite sex and nature. I know I would...(hint, hint for any of you single men who find simply beautiful is simply beautiful...(smile, blush)....u can contact me by email at seeinsideofme@gmail.com.... really, I don't bite!)

Happy Dating!!

simply beautiful.... wanting a simple love....

Tribute to J

2009-01-27T08:31:00.004-06:00

Justin

Jun. 3, 1983- Feb. 10, 2006

You are a ray of sunshine that warmed the heart.

You always had a smile and a hug to

show us God's love.

Your assignment's done. Rest in peace.

I miss you baby 'cuz. You inspired me because you lived your life as if it was....simply beautiful

A Prayer for Help

2009-01-27T08:16:00.002-06:00

Lord, help!
guide me,
protect me,
strengthen me.
Give me wisdom,
to love,
to hope,
to forgive
and to move forward.
In Jesus' Name. Amen.

c.18Oct2005 Fort Worth TX simply beautiful

Countdown to Love Day 2009

2009-01-26T21:25:00.005-06:00

O.K. it's time to See inside of Me, again. I can't help myself. I'd love to be in love. The hopeless romantic in me really wants to be romanced. But, it has not happened yet...sigh. Anyway, I have something for those who are single and dating/single and wanna be dating. I'll give a couple of suggestions from now until Love Day 09 on how to keep it holy and be romantic with the one you love/wanna love. Who knows? Maybe by then I'll be boo'd up?!!

1) Serenade your sweetie. That’s right—sing a love song.
A word of caution, if dogs howl or lift their hind leg when you sing-- just lip sync. I know, I know the effect is just not the same. But save your dignity and leave the real singing to Luther on CD.

2)Designate a Love Message Day— pick a day and send 'love notes' all day—by text, e-mail, im, whatever. Let your mate/date know that you’re in love (or serious like), why you love/like him or her, and send hugs, kisses, text pics of flowers and candy or stuffed bears. And don't forget to compliment him/her…all day long! and it goes without saying...keep it clean!!

and number 3)
‘Unusual Date Night’! Take your date to do something you’ve not done before or in a long while. Something adventurous, unusual, or stupid-- like go fishing, go to the gun range, or go to the Fat Stock Show* ( There's nothing like an outdoor activity in the frigid cold!! LOL!!)

Really, I'm joking...but something creative and unusual will win love points with your date/mate.
Try something tame, like 'Build a Bear' at the mall or play Putt-Putt golf.

And although I'm not there yet...
I wish you Happy Dating!!

*The Southwestern Exposition and Livestock Show--Fort Worth TX Jan. 16 thru Feb 8, 2009 at the Will Rogers Memorial Center....(they really should pay me for this!!)

simply beautiful....wishing to simply be in love...

Hope on a Tightrope by Dr. Cornel West

2009-01-25T16:01:00.002-06:00

"..here we are... America finds itself looking to its blues people again to provide vision to a nation with the blues. That is a source of hope. Yet hope is no guarantee. Real hope is grounded in a particularly messy struggle and it can be betrayed by naive projections of a better future that ignore the necessity of doing the real work. So we are talking about hope on a tightrope."
Dr. Cornel West